What to do wrt smelly child?

[leeloo1]

I had a new baby start last week, on his first day settling in dad dropped him off and the dad absolutely stank - I could smell him from 3 feet away at the door. Baby's clothes smelled like the dad did, as did some of the things in his bag (some clothes smelled not too bad, some stank - none smelled fresh). Also I ask that parents bring a blanket that 'smells of home/their washing powder' and in this case I wish I hadn't as when I used it on baby at nap time it made the whole house smell.

2nd day, baby didn't smell so bad, but still not nice and it was enough that I could smell him on my hands after I'd held him and I'm dreading having him back next week.

They are co-sleeping and the baby/dad/his clothes smell like they haven't changed the beds in weeks and have b.o.

My assistant reckons we should buy the baby clothes that we change him into here for the day and keep them clean, but I take photos to show the parents and it'd be obvious he wasn't in their clothes. Also I have enough laundry with my own 3 to be doing anyone elses. Only other alternatives are to put up with it or bite the bullet and tell the parents they smell - and I can't see that going down well.

I'm hoping someone can magically find an answer for me...

[Ripeberry]

Gosh! That is a difficult situation to be in. Is it BO or maybe cigarette/cigar smoke? I would note it down as a concern and see if things improve. Failing that, then maybe a good spray of deodorant on the clothes. But then what is safe on a baby?

[leeloo1]

Thanks for replying - it is a bit grim. Especially as the poor baby crawls over and wants hugs and its just horrible to hug him smelling as he does. He's such a cute baby he doesn't deserve to be stinky!

Its definitely a bo/not washed smell.

[blue bear]

You either tell them or ask for a spare set and wash that then dress babe in the clean set can't see another way around it

[loocyloo]

Maybe they are drying clothes inside/putting them away damp which leads to them having a very stinky smell ( same as wet washing left in wash machine for a few days )

Could you speak to health visitor?

Maybe play with some warm soapy scented water? And get splashing!

Good luck x

[CookieCutter]

Could you take lo's clothes off and febreze them?

I know it's not a very nice smell, but I would be very careful about bringing it up. Some people, despite being clean and tidy, have issues with body odor which are very hard to control. My brother showers at least once a day, changes sheets regularly, wears loads of deodorant and antiperspirant, etc- but will still smell of bo by the time he changes his work shirt in the evening. And he has a desk job! He's very aware of it and carries deodorant with him to combat the problem, and would feel really awful if someone he doesn't know very well were to approach him and say he smells and so does his baby. Granted, my brother controls the problem really well so he's not likely to offend someone's nose unless they're standing with their nose in his armpit, but it maybe it could be a similar problem with lo's dad?

[Koala]

I have had people who don't launder clothes on a hot enough wash and 'smells' can get ingrained in fibres and smell even worse when the clothes get warmed up. Also not drying clothes properly or leaving in washing machine after a cycle often has this effect. I think I know what you mean but it sounds like it is REALLY bad in this instance

A few drops of lavender oil on the door mat or oil burners/smokers when they arrive might help disguise dads whiff and I would have to have a spare set of lo's clothes laundered at my house (like your assistant says) and changed as soon as he arrives and put his stinky clothes in the wash. Unfortunately if you don't - your house could adopt the stink and others may start to think it is you. especially if you go out anywhere. Parents might get a hint when little on comes home with fresh clothes and if they ask you may be able to delicately discuss the situation. I wouldn't bring it up, unless you feel it is having an adverse effect on the lo. Being stinky isn't a crime and like someone says it could be a personal hygiene issue but sometimes if it is discussed delicately, productively and considerately you may be able to support the family overcome it? Good luck Ordinarily I would NOT wash any childrens clothes - as you say we all have enough laundry - but what else can you do at this point? Waite and see how your relationship grows with the family to avoid putting your foot in it and inadvertantly insulting them.

I wouldn't fabreze the baby's clothes or use any disguising product.

[Simona]

I had a new baby start last week, on his first day settling in dad dropped him off and the dad absolutely stank - I could smell him from 3 feet away at the door. Baby's clothes smelled like the dad did, as did some of the things in his bag (some clothes smelled not too bad, some stank - none smelled fresh). Also I ask that parents bring a blanket that 'smells of home/their washing powder' and in this case I wish I hadn't as when I used it on baby at nap time it made the whole house smell.

2nd day, baby didn't smell so bad, but still not nice and it was enough that I could smell him on my hands after I'd held him and I'm dreading having him back next week.

They are co-sleeping and the baby/dad/his clothes smell like they haven't changed the beds in weeks and have b.o.

My assistant reckons we should buy the baby clothes that we change him into here for the day and keep them clean, but I take photos to show the parents and it'd be obvious he wasn't in their clothes. Also I have enough laundry with my own 3 to be doing anyone elses. Only other alternatives are to put up with it or bite the bullet and tell the parents they smell - and I can't see that going down well.

I'm hoping someone can magically find an answer for me...

Sorry to ask...but is the smell coming from the baby himself or do you think the baby is picking it up from others such as BO?
If the baby sleeps in the parents' bed it would be his pijamas that smell not his day clothes?

I think personally this is a very 'delicate' and confidential matter and you need to record what you see and smell...just in case...
did you do a home visit before the child started? that could give a few clues as to the home environment.
This does not mean parents are not caring just that their hygiene routine may differ from others...sorry I hope you get my meaning

Change his clothes when he arrives and wash him down and then see if the next day things are the same

I also think you need to approach the parents because sooner or later your other minded children will say something to the parents ...unfortunately children have a habit of being honest

[hectors house]

When I worked in a supermarket I came across a lady opening different fragrances of fabric softener and sniffing them as she said that some children in her class really smelt of horrible fabric softener and she wanted to make sure she didn't buy that one!

I think that as others have said this family are maybe leaving wet clothes too long without drying them properly or outside in the fresh air, I can understand this maybe in the winter but find it hard to understand after the lovely summer we have had - I guess not everyone has an outdoor drying area.

I would febreeze the clothes or sprinkle something like lavender oil on a bib as it's going to be hard not to cringe when baby wants to cuddle up for a story or a bottle. Or how about getting some cheap printed T shirts and tell the parents that you are providing a uniform for when you go out or to keep clothes clean during messy play?

[mum67]

Just wondering if parents use a scented free non bio powder or some other type of natural product.
One of my older son's has a skin condition and years ago I tried Asda own non bio powder on the advice of HV, our clothes never smelt as if they were washed, they had a musty smell.
Stopped using after 2nd wash and went back to fragrant ones but only washed his in tiny amount and rinsed in cold water in sink until my hands were numb.
I would wash spares in your powder, change lo and then wash others, keep alternating and the photos will be fine and you could say didn't want to send lo home looking grubby from all the fun they had with messy play, etc.

Good luck with this.

[gwm]

In the grand scheme of things it is such a small issue but it can instigate such widespread negative reactions. I have two suggestions....1. At next pick up/drop off ask mum/dad if baby has been sick this morning as you got a whiff from his clothes or 2. Wash everything baby is wearing and spare ones(you were doing some very messy activities!!!!) and send home smelling sweet. I wouldn't use any sprays etc as you don't know how baby will react and they don't actually get rid of the issue.

[AdeleMarie88]

It's a tough one.

I have a family, who enjoy being very frugal, buying cheapest possible product, or even getting it free, whether it be food, clothes, washing up powder, furniture, toys and so on. As a result, personal smells are sometimes unpleasant. Their home is exactly the same.

The damp musty unclean smell became so bad, the other children picked up on it, and would say to me, "why does child x and y smell?" I had to talk to parents outright before a child said it in front of them. I just politely said what washing powder do you use because it leaves a strange odour. I suggested a different brand and said we are so active everyday perhaps child should be bathed more regularly. The older child would often say "mommy didn't want me to have a bath and wash my hair last night, I need to wait until end of the week." Her hair was so long it got matted and greasy and needed to be washed regularly. Because I knew they didn't have money/washing machine troubles, once they were made aware of it, they could fix it. If I wasn't blunt, they wouldn't have changed. Maybe you just need to clench your teeth and say outright, you need to bathe child and wash clothes more frequently.

[tori4]

I have similar situation with LO - socks are the worst they feel almost wet - LO usually comes sticky rd the face and hands, the nails are always black :-/

I think I may be putting clothes on a quick wash from now on it's getting a bit too much - even DH notice it when he pops in

Plus the dog won't stop sniffing LO - doesn't bother with any of the other but spend ages trying to work out where the smell is coming from

Pretty sure it's choice of washing powder - mum even made a comment that mother-in law keeps spraying kids clothes when they go over for dinner !!! But that made the smell worst and nor did mum get the hint

Glad I'm not alone xT

[leeloo1]

Hey, Thanks for all the replies. Interesting that other people have had similar situations - you have my sympathy.

Having had him a few extra days, I can see a real difference between days he's been bathed the night before and when he's not been - today he had bits of fluff & mucky looking stuff on the skin round his neck & backs of fingers. He also had yesterday's vest (& trousers) on - so it will pick up 'sleeping' smells. He also has huge chunks of cradle cap in his hair. Poor baby, its just not appealing!

I think the smell is mostly from his clothes/blankets etc (& a bit from co-sleeping & picking up parents' smells) though, not from the baby himself and whoever said about the not-hot-enough-wash-and-not-properly-dried-washing-smell then I think you're right. Some of his clothes & blankets have that awful pungent bacteria-y smell.

I'm going to try a few of your ideas - I think I'll start with the playing with persil... sorry, soapy water idea if his clothes smell too bad & he has better smelling ones with him. If that doesn't work then I'll ask to keep a spare set of his clothes & wash them myself. If all else fails then I'll have to speak to them...

Thanks again for all the ideas (& sympathy), its really helpful.

[Mouse]

I had one baby who was particularly smelly. He was very affectionate, but I struggled to cuddle him close. I washed a thin blanket with a really strong smelling fabric conditioner, so when he came over for a cuddle I'd put the blanket across the front of me & wrap it round him to cuddle him. I'd keep a corner of it pulled out near my nose so I could sniff it at the same time!
I was worried he might get a bit paranoid that I grabbed the blanket every time he came near me, but he actually loved it and knew it was his special blanket

[mrsb79]

I really feel for you not a pleasant situation to be in. When I first started minding I looked after a 13 month old little boy who was very smelly mainly of urine he was very grubby and carried around his comfort blanket that he would take to bed and because his mum used cheap nappies he would soak through and it go on his blanket. Every morning was the same welcome him in and get him to pop his blanket into the washing machine which he did willingly however mum was happy didn't like my washing powder so I was blunt and spelt it out that she either stopped buying nappies that leaked and improved hygiene or lo stopped coming as I would smell of lo and some of my furnishings. Mum complied and things improved. It's never nice having to talk about sensitive matters but it's better to be honest before someone else is x

Sent from my iPhone using Childminding Forum

[mum67]

I have similar situation with LO - socks are the worst they feel almost wet - LO usually comes sticky rd the face and hands, the nails are always black :-/

I think I may be putting clothes on a quick wash from now on it's getting a bit too much - even DH notice it when he pops in

Plus the dog won't stop sniffing LO - doesn't bother with any of the other but spend ages trying to work out where the smell is coming from

Pretty sure it's choice of washing powder - mum even made a comment that mother-in law keeps spraying kids clothes when they go over for dinner !!! But that made the smell worst and nor did mum get the hint

Glad I'm not alone xT

The poor dog must be going demented

[mum67]

I have similar situation with LO - socks are the worst they feel almost wet - LO usually comes sticky rd the face and hands, the nails are always black :-/

I think I may be putting clothes on a quick wash from now on it's getting a bit too much - even DH notice it when he pops in

Plus the dog won't stop sniffing LO - doesn't bother with any of the other but spend ages trying to work out where the smell is coming from

Pretty sure it's choice of washing powder - mum even made a comment that mother-in law keeps spraying kids clothes when they go over for dinner !!! But that made the smell worst and nor did mum get the hint

Glad I'm not alone xT

The MIL is obviously hinting as best she can politely. My DIL knows I would just say it how it is and she likes that about me, only trouble is my grandkids are getting sooo like nana and it puts mum and dad in some very awkward situations at times

[mum67]

I had one baby who was particularly smelly. He was very affectionate, but I struggled to cuddle him close. I washed a thin blanket with a really strong smelling fabric conditioner, so when he came over for a cuddle I'd put the blanket across the front of me & wrap it round him to cuddle him. I'd keep a corner of it pulled out near my nose so I could sniff it at the same time!
I was worried he might get a bit paranoid that I grabbed the blanket every time he came near me, but he actually loved it and knew it was his special blanket

sorry I know I shouldn't laugh but this thread is so comical in parts - keep a corner to sniff - the poor baby if only he knew and poor Mouse

[mum67]

On a serious note. A cold wash does tend to give this smell out no matter what you use powder, softener wise. The parents might be environmental friendly and think they are doing right by this. Only thing is you would smell the whiff and know it's there so surely they are aware of it.