Messing me about

[candy cat]

Hello lovelies...... Just got a text ( why they text on our days off I don't know) mum been with me a year and in this time changed contact 4 times....days and times ( me losing out financially) She has now gone for a new job and presumed I would swop days again......i have said 'No' and now making me feel guilty......I will not let it put a downer on my day......some parents!!!!

[tess1981]

I think sometimes parents don't realise we can't swap days due to ratios etc. Not sure of your reasons why you can't swap days but we can't always accommodate

[sarah707]

I would only do it if I had space ... not always possible :/

[CSR2014]

Hope you've managed to not let it spoil your day!!
Perhaps a £25 'admin fee' for changes may be in order like insurance companies charge for really simple changes!!

[bunyip]

I can see why you're annoyed. Mum clearly needs to learn what my old teacher used to say: "assumption" is just a posh word for "c0ckup" - then she might assume/presume a little less and dig fewer holes for herself. That's her mistake. She certainly should not be trying to put any guilt on you, and I'd be tempted to say I was having none of it. The rest depends on whether she knows your 'good' and 'bad' times to communicate. Does she?

From mum's POV, I guess a text message was the least intrusive way of contacting on her CM's day off. She may indeed have believed you'd prefer to be contacted on your day off, rather than being interrupted when you're working, or leaving an important matter until pick-up/drop-off time when there is often a lot more distractions and a lot less time to listen and think.

No offence, but a lot of CMs make the opposite mistake of assuming clients will intuitively know when it's ok to make contact and when not to. Have you made it absolutely clear that you wish to be incommunicado at certain times/days? What is 'reasonable' to one person isn't to another and people don't know unless we tell them. It's easy to judge actions by the circumstances. A busy CM may hate to be called on their day off. But if it's a call from a new enquirer or someone wanting to increase hours (and therefore pay us more) then we feel differently, even though it's still an interruption on our free time IYSWIM.

I'd generally rather be called on a lazy Saturday than on a busy Monday. This may be cos the phone will invariably go when I'm up to my elbows in baby poo or lunch is on the verge of burning/boiling over (my idea of multi-tasking is walking and breathing at the same time. ) You may be the opposite, and that does not mean 1 of us is right and the other is wrong. But it does mean everyone will be far better served if we tell them.

Tbf a whole host of self-employed people (e.g. plumbers, sparkies, etc.) are happy to be contacted any time, and would lose a lot of business if they didn't. Or else, they keep a seperate phone for work and don't touch it on days off.

If you've not already done so, perhaps the best thing would be to make your ground-rules absolutely clear to parents. Fr'instance, my clients know they can call anytime, but they can't expect me to answer every time. At times, I'll respond to text messages if they are urgent or warrant a quick response, but many will not be attended to until more convenient. It'll be different for every CM, but the need to be clear about expectations remains the same.

[candy cat]

Thanks for your replies......I agree about the weekend texts.....they don't normally bother me.....just think this Mum just expects a lot and just annoys me by swopping and changing.....changed mobile numbers 5 x as well so annoying!!

£25 fee like the sound of that! ;0)

Thanks xx

[hectors house]

I have a mindees parent who rarely answers my texts or e-mails even to acknowledge that she has received them but thinks it OK to phone my mobile on my day off, when I am on a course, to query her invoice as she thought I had charged her full fee for her Xmas holiday hours - she only had to add up the hours to work out that they were half fee.

[bunyip]

One of the strange phenomena of modern life that I constantly encounter is a whole new breed of people who carry a phone for entirely their own convenience. By that I mean they have the right to call anyone at any time they like to ask/tell them anything, no matter how trivial, yet they never answer their own phone or acknowledge anything (e.g. ever tried to get one of these to collect a sick child?)

It's a syndrome which affects Mrs Bunyip, at least in part. She'll answer the phone to anyone but me.......

[bunyip]

One of the strange phenomena of modern life that I constantly encounter is a whole new breed of people who carry a phone for entirely their own convenience. By that I mean they have the right to call anyone at any time they like to ask/tell them anything, no matter how trivial, yet they never answer their own phone or acknowledge anything (e.g. ever tried to get one of these to collect a sick child?)

It's a syndrome which affects Mrs Bunyip, at least in part. She'll answer the phone to anyone but me.......

........and the first person who replies with "can you blame her?" goes straight on Santa's Naughty List.

[KatieFS]

I have a parent that keeps chopping and changing things. It does get annoying as I feel age can take for granted I have other children and a life of my own.

About the calls and texts at I convieniant times, I don't bother to answer the phone or infinite the texts till I'm ready to reply. Let them stew! They can wait until I'm working for a response. Or maybe we should add the admin fee to cover unsociable hours phone calls etc.

Christmas holidays cannot come soon enough! Time for a break ladies and gents x

[loocyloo]

I reply to texts/emails/answerphone messages when I have time and have had time to think about what is being asked.
I always tell all my parents that I will reply to messages but not too assume I have had them until I reply! Mobile/internet reception can be patchy where I live or I might actually be out!
I have a mum who frequently changed her days. Last summer she changed and I knew she would want a day that she gave notice for back and ' LO and behold ' when 2 weeks later she wanted it, she was most put out when it wasn't available!!! Since then she hasn't messed me about so much!!