What to do wrt smelly child?

[Ripeberry]

That's the thing though isn't it? Kids are very honest. That poor child will find out one day that people think he smells (even if he does). But unless the parents are told (not necessarily) by you. They will never know

[MrsP2C]

Hey, thanks for thinking of me. Nothing has really changed, but LO has settled in well, and is now walking, so isn't crawling all over me wanting hugs anymore. We've been going out loads, so he spends the morning pottering around the park (downwind of me! ) then either lunch out or at home (highchair), then home for naps, then school pick up (in buggy). Then we do an activity - either round the table or free-play in the playroom. So the physical contact is there when necessary but limited. When I need to hug him or if he's looking sad/tired I'm using the blanket trick suggested up-thread. Its really sad, as he is the prettiest little boy you can imagine and he'd be adorable if it wasn't for the smell, but if the parents don't think there is a smell problem then there's nothing I can do - I think to speak to them again would offend them, but if they ask me I'll be honest. Oh actually, just thought of 1 new thing that's happened - 1 of the other mindees (3 year old) hugged him last week & said 'leeloo, xxxxx is really smelly!' I was caught on the hop and just said 'oh really?' & she said 'he smells all over his body.' Eeek, that could be a bit awkward!

Could you use this comment from other mindee as cause to broach it again? I do think it's really sad that this lovely little boy will be always kept as arms length, risk bullying when he's older just because his parents are too pig-headed to admit there's an issue.

[leeloo1]

I did consider using the comment as an excuse to mention it to the parents again, but then if they don't believe me (& why would I lie/make it up?) then would they believe a 3 year old? They could just shrug it off as her being confused/child having a dirty nappy or something.

[Koala]

It's unfortunate that the childs parents are unaware and are unwilling to take your advice or even contemplate your view. I think you have done extremely well to firstly broach the issue, secondly have your concerns flatly disputed and ignored which I would find insulting and thirdly and most importantly carry on providing a healthy, loving environment for a lo who is obviously starting to effect others in your setting with the odor problem.
I too agree that the parents are in denial and to pursue this further may well cause more problems than it's worth without any productive outcome but I would contemplate what my next steps would be when/if other parents start to comment when their lo start telling mummy and daddy that xxxx really smells and they don't want to play/sit next to him or maybe even not come to your setting because of the odor. You know how blunt children can be and how parents can be when they are paying for a service that their child is not enjoying or complaining about because of another child, they may well expect you to do something. I don't think your problem is over even though you are dealing with it and overcoming the obstacle by using good strategies, the issue may become a problem for others using your services. good luck.

[leeloo1]

Thanks Koala, thats really nice of you. I think it is slightly insulting, and definitely short sighted, of the parents to not take on board my concerns, but I feel at least I have told them so now its up to them.

You're right, I suspect this won't be the end of the issue, but for now I'll just wait & see I guess...

[Maza]

Just wondering if this is still an issue? x

[leeloo1]

Darn, just deleted my post somehow!

It did resolve itself for about 6 weeks - he smelled of clean clothes (hurray!) then today he was back to musty dried-too-slowly-smell.

I'm kind of used to it now, so its less of an issue I guess - still not great though!

[Maza]

Sorry for bringing up a really, really old post! I do enjoy reading old posts and I knew there was this one about a child with an unpleasant smell.

I looked it up because, well, I have a two year old with an unpleasant smell.

It's not everyday, but most days, and some days it is really bad. DH and I think it is the child's head/hair in particular. It stinks out whichever room the child is in, or the porch if they were in there for a few seconds before I open the door in the mornings. When the porch stinks, I really feel for the next parent who comes along and has to stand in the confined space while they wait for me to open the door!

Today, it was awful, so I sponged the child's head and hair, just with warm water and it was then bearable. They are not the most hygienic of families, but I really don't think it is bad enough to be a safeguarding issue.

DH keeps saying that I need to say something, because it is so unpleasant for us all here and obviously we don't want the smell lingering in our home. I have the child for four full days a week. We can't figure out if it really is a hygiene issue or if it is some sort of shampoo that mum uses. The child has very fine curly hair which does take some managing, and the mum is completely into alternative therapies and medicines - so could it be that?

How on earth would I say something to mum? Do I just start sponging down the child from head to toe on bad days? I feel like giving them a warm, soapy bath - but I can't as have other little ones to take care of, and it wouldn't seem right anyway.

Money isn't an issue, by the way.

[loocyloo]

Oh goodness Maza, what a difficult one. ( and i remember this thread too! )

I'm thinking, that like as you said, If mum is into alternative remedies and medicines, that maybe she is using an oil of some sort to tame the child's curls? Maybe mum & dad use it too, and/or, maybe they just don't notice it ( any more! ) Maybe ask what they are using?

I'm wondering if you can 'use' another (older) child and say 'X was commenting that they always know when Y is here/where they've been because they can smell them'.

Good luck xxx

[Pixie dust]

Oh this is so tricky, I totally understand what you are going through. I have a 3 year old who often has a smell about them and when they go home I can smell the smell on my clothing etc, theirs is more from their clothing. I can't really do much about mine as it's due to the families living conditions and there are other professionals involved in supporting the family re the home environment.

In the past I have had lots of water play out in the garden so the children have ended up getting covered in bubbly water from that and had a wash in the process or we have done feet painting so then everyone had to have their feet cleaned