Had to give notice - gosh that was hard!

[natlou82]

Feeling upset that I've had to give notice, the LO I look after is 8 the same as my Son but there has been conflict from the moment he started and my Son is really struggling with him being here. So today after trying different strategies I've had to give notice. I've only been minding for 2 months and I really feel a sense of failure as I really wanted this to work out but have had to put my Son first and to be honest it's not fair on the mindee either being in a stressful environment (which is the way it was turning out). Do you think I've done the right thing?

[Lal]

Yes- you are putting your family first. And you are considering the needs of the mindee.
I'm still pre-reg, but have been told by a couple of current and ex-minders to make sure the children I care for suit us as a family, and also not to feel I should take on the first family that come along.

[chris goodyear]

Don't beat yourself up over it. I had exactly the same situation years ago when I first started but as everyone will say you have to think of your family first. I find it easier now as my children are all grown up and left home and with experience of many years of minding I can deal with these things better, also because it's only minded children here they are better behaved because I'm not their mum. It's not a nice job when there's conflict but when things run smooth I think it's one of the best!

[AliceK]

You have absolutely done the right thing. I made the decision when I started that I would not take on any child who was older than my DS (he was 5 at the time) because I didn't want him to feel intimidated, if that's the right word??. If a mindee is causing your own child to feel uncomfortable in their own home then I would give notice. We need to remember that this is our HOME and our own childrens happiness is paramount . This is the reason I don't take mindees on who are friends of my own children because when they fall out, which they will, it causes a bad atmosphere in the home.

xxx

[Mouse]

I think it can be very hard for older children to have others in their home who are the same age as them, especially when they are at school together as well.
Can you imagine working in an office with someone you didn't particularly get on with, then having to take them home with you at the end of the day when all you really want to do it get away from them?

I found out very early on that minding school children just didn't work for my children, so I have only ever done it as a very short term thing to cover another cms holiday etc.

It sounds to me like you've done the right thing for all concerned

[natlou82]

Thanks everyone, I really felt I'd let the parent down. My Son is in the same class as this boy and they don't get on at school so you've got it spot on Mouse as it must be so hard for him. I had already decided not to take on any more 8+ and this has confirmed it for me. Thanks for your support, it's made me feel a lot better about it x

[Maza]

Well done you! You sound like a fabulous mum. x