New baby

**Happiness** · 30-05-2014, 09:16 AM

Help urgently needed.
I am looking after a new baby. He started last week and does Wednesday, Thursday and Friday 7:45am-1:30pm. He was good as gold during pre-sessions but since he started he hasn't stopped crying

This really gets me down as has never happened before. He also doesn't want to eat or drink anything. Not possible to put him to sleep.
Spoke to the mum yesterday and she said that he is still breastfed every 2 hours at home and always falls asleep on her breast. He is just over 1. I knew he was a breastfed baby anyway but I was never told before that he was fed so often.
All of the babies I look after are breastfed and parents co-sleep and etc but all of them settled in straight away. I feel like this one really suffers. All this crying effects all of us. Especially my daughter who is not used to it at all. I feel like giving up on him already. Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you in advance.x

**Happy Bunny** · 30-05-2014, 10:02 AM

I had a baby who cried non stop for 2 weeks and was cuddled to sleep all the time at home, after 2 weeks he settled in ( it was stressful)

It might be worth having a discussion with mum to see if she can try giving him a bottle more often at home which would help him settle in more easily with you.

**Koala** · 30-05-2014, 04:32 PM

Poor little one and poor the rest of you

I'm not surprised it is having an adverse effect on you all.

Effectively the lo is going through cold turkey - as has been said could mum try and put into practice only bottle feeding at home and if he has a nap - putting lo to bed/cot/pram to sleep for the regular times of day lo is with you, this could prove a positive approach in getting lo ready for childcare (a bit too late, but better late than not at all). I'm afraid it is going to have to be a word in mums shell like because she is the only one that can make things so much better for everyone. Maybe mum doesn't realize or doesn't want to do this, but we can't all do what we want, we do what we need to, mum can't expect to leave her lo without giving the tools to keep him nurtured. And unless I missed something I don't think you want to breast feed lo or have the time for lo to fall asleep on you and I think mum would understand this. One thing is for sure - you need to address it before it gets too much or you end up throwing in the towel.

Time may well help - but do you have any time left in you or the others for that matter. Good luck.

**twiggy** · 30-05-2014, 07:55 PM

I feel your pain. I have been caring for a lo since January, she is also breast fed and mum co sleeps and carries her every where in a sling. She will not take a bottle from me and I then discovered that it was because she had never been given one at home. The lo is a year old now and the only way I can stop her crying is to take her to a toddler group as I am then the familiar adult and she is happy to be with me. I only have her one day a week.

**natlou82** · 31-05-2014, 07:01 AM

This is really tough, when my son was a baby he was breastfed, refused a bottle, and didn't have a dummy and even though it is hard breaking the breast feeding bond you do have to think of others. My son used to go to his Nan 2 days a week I made sure he was fully weaned off the breast by this time (used a cup) and used other methods to comfort him to sleep in preparation. In my eyes she is being very selfish and you need to let her know that he is so unsettled so she can start to change things for you. Good Luck x

**watford wizz** · 31-05-2014, 07:46 AM

I feel for you too! Have just finished settling in breast fed only baby. Parents worked with me from 9wks old just did 3hr slots with baby really hungry as they were not strong/experienced enough to do bottle weaning. Slowly increased time span over a period of 13 weeks to 4 full days. Struggled a bit at first but babe soon cottoned on as did parents x some parents just need that extra support.

**Happiness** · 31-05-2014, 08:15 AM

Thank you for your replies

I have spoken to his mum but I feel like she is not interested whatsoever and even she listens to me smiles and nods her head I can see she is not willing to make any changes. I told her once again how unhappy he was yesterday. He was pushing me away just shouting. Wouldn't sleep. Tried rocking, buggy, sling. Took him for a long walk. He just screamed.
I am a breastfeeding mum myself. My lo will be 2 in July but she only has an evening feed and goes to sleep in her cot on her own. She eats everything and drinks from a normal cup or a bottle. She asks for naps during the day and asks to be taken upstairs where her cot is. She has been doing this for months now without me actually forcing any strict routine. She stopped breastfeeding during the day when she was 8 months old and never asks for it. I know every baby is different but in my opinion when they turn 1 solids and morning and evening feeds are enough.
There is no way I would let my lo to be breastfed and fall asleep only on my breast if I had to put her in childcare 3 times a week. I think it's extremely cruel and yes very selfish too.
The mum gets quite excited about taking him home as she says ' now we can have 2.5 hour nap' and smiles putting him on her boob.straight away. God. I feel like I a mug. Most of my little ones were off this week. I don't really know how I am gonna cope with all of them next week

Will he ever get used to it? I really hope so.