I look after a little girl, have done since she was 6 months old, she is now 32 months
She has always been a very difficult child to deal with, in that she is head strong and wants everything her own way. This is beyond the usual ego that goes along with young children.
She has been getting worse with her behaviours. In november, she was destroying other peoples duplo creations or squashing things we made with clay - if she does that to her own stuff, fair enough but not to gleefully destroy other childrens things
She calmed down for a short while leading up to christmas and then she has gradually been getting worse and again, the last week has been awful!
We had a few weeks where she was great on a monday but then went downhill as the week went on, but monday this week
Mum is pg (and too tired and ill to be able to cope with her)and dad is in a new job, ending up working much later than previously, so lots of changes and we have been trying to be aware of this and tolerant. They didn't tell me but they did tell my assistant that they could not keep her under control over the weekend
We had a few days when she wasn't here and it was a different setting. The usual that you expect from the age groups is manageable, frustration, pushing, hitting etc can be dealt with. We give her attention, but its like she needs more and more. She constantly pushes buttons wanting a reaction and you can see that she is really confused when I calmly talk and explain and remove her from the situation . My last resort is time out, we talk, we explain, we guide her away but she doesn't listen.
Sleep has always been a tricky one, she is a child who takes time to settle, chatters to herself in the cot for a while first, has been known to climb out of the cot and pull things of shelves before we can get up the stairs to her, talks at other children to try and wake them up. To the point that someone has to sit watching her until we are sure she is asleep before leaving her - which is insane when we have other children to deal with
Today, she was quiet and I thought going off to sleep. So I left her and was sat in the next room, on my laptop when I smelt poo. She has a habit of doing her poo in her nappy, even though she is clean and dry during the day, so I went through expecting to just change a nappy.(she just has it for nap time) She had both hands in it, it was in her hair, on her top and she was carefully painting the sides of the cot with it.
I had to throw the cot away, there was no way to clean it
In the afternoon, she was snatching and pushing again.When anyone was talking to her, she was clearly ignoring what was being said and carrying on with her own thing
The overly long essay I guess, is to get across that this is not a one off. Its constant, its getting worse, and more an more of our attention is being given to her and less to the other children. We have tried positive reinforcement, we have tried rewarding her with stickers - which she loves and on the two mondays that she was much better, she went home with loads of stickers
I have asked the parents to come in for a meeting. And I am trying to work out how to handle it. I don't want to give notice, I have not given up on a child yet, but at the moment, she is being deliberately destructive and it is having a detrimental effect on the other children. And dealing with her is effecting the way that we deal with the other children, which is unfair on them
Parents are strict on her too, its not like we are coming from different angles
What can I try with her? What can I suggest to parents that we can try together
Please help. I am at the end of my tether.
HX
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