Why do I feel guilty?

[CookieCutter]

My dd (25 months) has just had 2 very horrible runny nappies within an hour (can't say I wasn't expecting something when she has been off her food all day), so before I phoned my mindee's parents, I phoned my backup cm to see if she has space, but she's fully booked tomorrow and Thursday. So, with a heavy heart, I phoned mindee's mum and explain my daughter is unwell and I won't be able to have her lo until at least Friday, and that I also couldn't get her a space with my backup minder. Mum was clearly not very happy and I just feel so bad. I only have 1 full time mindee, and both my daughter and I adore her. I'm feeling pretty certain that I'm going to lose her because her parents don't have any family or friends in the area who can step in at short notice and they don't see having time off work as an option. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time I've had to close in the last few months (my normally healthy dd is suddenly picking up ALL the illnesses), and I fear they now consider me unreliable.

I know I'm doing the right thing in closing for a few days, but it certainly doesn't feel like it when I'm on the phone with mindee's parents. I'm pretty sure they send her when they shouldn't sometimes (in fact, I'm pretty certain mindee had runny nappies over the weekend based on something that was said then quickly corrected).

I have no question, I simply wanted to share my thoughts with people I know will understand just what this feels like, because I feel pretty low right now.

[wee_elf]

I understand why you feel guilty but I agree you are doing the right thing. Sorry no other advice but just wanted to give you a little reassurance xxx

[Mouse]

It's really tough, but parents should always make sure they have a back up plan. You've done what you can, so try not to feel guilty.

I hope you daughter feels better soon x

[Cinderbella]

you have to put your family first =)

[littlemiss60561]

Aw these things happen. And console any guilt by the probability that it was their lo that passed it on! I get it's hard on parents. I've had to take 2 lots of 48 hours off since Xmas and affected 4 parents. But I managed to swap days around for 2 of them so we both came out ok from it.
I usually add a thankyou in advance for being understanding as I'm sure you'll appreciate not catching anything!

[CookieCutter]

Thanks for all your replies. I know I've done the right thing, my dd was up most of the night with horrible things coming out of both ends. There's been no d or v this morning (knock on wood!), but she's clearly not herself. Very cuddly, when normally she's too busy playing for cuddles.

If mindee's parents say anything to me about it, I will tell them I'm going to make it a priority to get to know other cm's in the area so that there are more people I could suggest, but there may still be times when I can't find her a place elsewhere (it states in our contract that I am not responsible for finding backup, but I do like to help if I can).

Now I can only sit back and hope they don't decide to take her to nursery for the reliability.

[bunyip]

Poor you.

Hope dd is better soon. You've done the right thing, just try not to feel bad about doing the right thing.

I know what you mean about nurseries. Whenever I have a prospective client visit I make it perfectly clear that the down side of using a CM is that we cannot guarantee a back-up, so the parents must have a plan B of some sort. I point out that nurseries will seldom "let them down" by excluding their child or closing due to another lo being sick. Mind you, I also point out that, in the case of our local nurseries, this means they are regularly holding onto sick children who shouldn't be there: so there's a much greater chance of their child catching something as a result.

I let parents decide whether they want "reliability" when it comes at the price of their lo getting exposed to illness more frequently - the sensible parents stick around, and they're the ones worth keeping.