First time in 19 years might have to give notice

**vals** · 30-01-2014, 05:55 PM

I've been doing this job for 19 years,so have seen most things, feel pretty experienced and able to cope. However I have 2 after school boys, the younger of which I have never experienced so much difficult behaviour from a child. I nearly gave up after a day, but pulled myself together, tried every tactic going, but it all fails. Even had a dad of a girl in his class speak to me about him hitting his daughter - he wasn't happy! So today I find out that one of my regular after school girls, who hasn't been coming much the last week or so, is terrified of this boy. I never leave the room when he is here,not even for the loo, if i go to the kitchen I take him with me, if he goes to the loo i supervise. He still does things he shouldn't. , when he arrived this morning his mum hadnt even got to the gate and I was sorting out an argument. I am really upset that a child is so scared by another child here. I have told the girls parents that I will give notice to the boys. But i really can't afford to, going to be a big dent in my income thats not great anyway. I feel really odd about it, I know I am not perfect, but I really thought I had kept control of the situation. Luckily the girls mum is being great and very understanding.

**blue bear** · 30-01-2014, 06:32 PM

It's an odd one, is she sacred of him at school so does not want to come to yours simply because he is there and not because he has done anything to her at yours?
Or has he done something I particular that she feels scared about?
Id be wanting to get to the bottom of why she is scared and see if it can be worked through, does sound a proper handful though

**vals** · 30-01-2014, 06:40 PM

mum is trying to get to the bottom of it. There a chance the girl is playing on him being told off all the time, but there is obviously a lot more to it. Its so embarrassing, I have only had the girl since September, and at Xmas the mum wrote a lovely card and gave me a very generous present, so I know they were very happy with me then. It annoys me with school - he is the sort that gets head teachers awards and gold stars etc for being good for 5 minutes. Where as children that re good all the time get no recognition. He is only in year 2 and i found out today that he nearly got expelled from another school. but they managed to move him 'voluntarily'.

**VeggieSausage** · 30-01-2014, 09:59 PM

Although awful you owe it to the children you already have to give them notice, you are not going to be able to sort out his behavioural issues and lets face it if you have a child with problems it is for the parents to sort out....you can afford it because if you don't your others will leave, so if I was you I would give notice, it won't get better.....

**AliceK** · 30-01-2014, 10:10 PM

Originally Posted by vals

mum is trying to get to the bottom of it. There a chance the girl is playing on him being told off all the time, but there is obviously a lot more to it. Its so embarrassing, I have only had the girl since September, and at Xmas the mum wrote a lovely card and gave me a very generous present, so I know they were very happy with me then. It annoys me with school - he is the sort that gets head teachers awards and gold stars etc for being good for 5 minutes. Where as children that re good all the time get no recognition. He is only in year 2 and i found out today that he nearly got expelled from another school. but they managed to move him 'voluntarily'.

Oh don't get me started on the disruptive kids that get rewarded for their bad behaviour but the ones that are good all the time get nothing

. There is no incentive to be good at school, I am sick of hearing about it, it really demotivates my DS.

xxx