Fixated on Visual Time Table

[Tealady]

Second week with extremely unsettled sisters. I've done a visual time table for older girl (27mth) on which she has become fixated.

Is this fixation normal? Never known two so bad with seperation issues.

[kellyskidz!]

Hmmm... How long have they been with you? Maybe its a familiar thing that she's fixated on and might grow out of it soon?xx

[Tealady]

They come one day a week and this was there second week.

The little girl in her first week just cried for Mummy off and on all day long. So I talked through what we were going to do be doing before Mum will come i.e. we are going to share some books, then get DD from school, when we get back we'll have a snack and then Mummy will come. Which seemed to reassure her.

However that first week there was flooding, bridge closures and a farm fire so Mummy didn't come and grandparents came in the end an hour after their finish time. So that made her Mummy issues worse yesterday.

I did the visual timetable to help her understand what was happening and reassure her that at the end of the day she will see Mummy. But she would just keep standing in front of it crying, repeating what was left of the day before pick up and then would walk away still crying saying that nobody was coming! All day it was repetition and referring to the timetable, standing in front of it following it through and I then couldn't do a thing that wasn't on there. I felt a walk would help both her and her baby sister but she just had a meltdown as it wasn't on the timetable. She cried all through snack and despite being fixated on being picked-up she still cried when she was being collected.

[Koala]

oh dear, that makes for a very long, hard day - I don't know what to suggest just maybe reassure you not to expect too much.

I find ordinarily one day a week children take a lot longer to settle than others who attend more frequently.
I find 2 year olds particularly who start at a new setting are aware but don't understand enough to cope too well - is this her first childcare setting? if so, I so empathize with you, you are earning your money definitely! and some.
I think your visual timetable is great and may help eventually when she takes it in, but I understand she may have to stick to it. (my son was given one at school and they didn't stick to it so he felt even more lost, however if there were several options under certain time periods this could help.)

Good luck and don't hit the bottle too hard when she's gone.

[hectors house]

Could you show the child the whole day visual time table and then put it away and just have out a NOW & NEXT visual cards, I heard about them on a communication course this week. Then child only concentrates on 2 things and it would be easier for you to swap to a different activity if necessary.

[chez]

I would say a couple of points

The older sister may feel reponsible for the younger sister this could be leading to anxiety

When you said these things would happen before and this was the only time she has experienced, she listened to you saying these things and in her eyes it didn't happen, you didn't tell the truth. Why should our lo trust us in the first place but from a child's eyes why should they trust us when we say things that went true?

You've said these things were going to happen to see her mum again and somewhere in that something must have gone wrong maybe a toy that wasn't spoken about was played with etc. was it her fault mummy didn't return? This time she will be sure it doesn't happen again.

Putting this into a different way.... Your told that you can have a box of chocolates but first you must carry out these activities and experiences, you do what you think is right dispite being unsure about your new surroundings and the new rules. At what you believe is the end your time is extended longer and your given an apple.... Slightly feel cheated and aprehievsive next time?

I'd recommend not having the time table and having now and next cards. Time will help as will repeatedly getting the days started and completed in the planned way hope things improve

[sarah707]

Poor you and poor little one

We build 'surprise time' into all our visual timetables - it might be something as simple as a teddy coming to visit for a cup of tea or making some new playdough - but it can also cover outings.

hugs xx

[amylouise867]

I would also do what's been suggested.

Share the full time table and then do now and next cards.

It's early days - some children take a while to get used to new people and new settings.

Maybe get some photographs of parents that they can look at.

Ask parents if they can bring their favourite teddies etc to come and play for the day.

Hope things settle for you soon!
Good Luck!! x