Concerned about a child

[Sophiopolous]

We had a child for around 5 weeks who is known to my family (btw, my mum and I work together, and it's her ex partners grandson who I'm talking about)
For one, we didn't get paid, and unfortunately we did not get around to her signing the contract. We had them all filled out and all she had to do was sign, and she never 'had the time' 'had a pen' 'run to get a bus' etc etc. I'm calling Pacey tomorrow to see if there's anything we can do to recover the money.

My main point though, is that whilst we had him in our care, there was an incident between his parents, that resulted in police being called.
His mother is a rather petty and dramatic woman (I for one did not want anything to do with her regarding the business) and she very easily manipulates her sons, to the point where they say things like 'the only woman I'll ever love is mummy and I'd love to only marry her when I'm older'.
The boy that we had said some things on several occasions that (I wont say specifics) that his mum had something that could harm his dad. Him being three I wouldn't expect him to know what he was saying or even know what the thing was that she said she had.

Now we told his mother what he'd said and she was shocked and denied it. I know that it was probably a fib or even that he'd misconstrued a conversation, but it's still made me feel quite uncomfortable. He (the child) also commented saying that sometimes the mums new partner called them 'rude words' and doesn't like them.

I've written everything down in my concerns book, and although they're all very well behaved, well clothed, well fed and looked after, I am concerned about what the child said and also how they're quite 'brain washed' to only love mummy and have been told to not love their daddy and call him by name.

What do you think I should do? We know longer have the child in our care and unfortunately are not on speaking terms with the mother due to her not paying us and her not responsding to our calls/texts etc.

[christine e]

You clearly have concerns so you should be following your safeguarding/child protection procedure

[k1rstie]

As Christine says,if you are uneasy you must make that call.


Lots of people call their ex partner by a horrible name, and I suspect lots of kids do too, if Dad does not visit when required, forgets birthdays, doesn't give mum her money etc.

I do to think its okay for a child to say these things, but I do not think its uncommon.


Good luck with what you decide to do

[blue bear]

On my safeguarding course we were given a scenario where it was an adult we were worried about being harmed (something similar to your situation mabe, child said mum had a knife in her handbag to hurt her friend)
The police officer running the course said our duty of care to report extended to the friend not just the child and we should report it.

[Bluebell]

I agree - your concerns are to pass on to your local safeguarding officer, it is then up to them to decide if it is fibs / misconstrued / genuine concerns.

[Goatgirl]

Hi ,
This is a horrible situation for you to find yourselves in , so sorry this has happened.
I would call the safeguarding team in your area with details of your concerns.
The manipulating and name calling could be the tip of serious emotional abuse and even if the physical violence stuff is made up, the child is still getting the ideas and words from somewhere. Put together I would also be concerned. Make that call and you will feel better.
Hope you get your money too, but would not be holding my breath in the circumstances unfortunately .

Good luck with a difficult situation

[Tazmin68]

Hi
Re getting your money back I don't think you will have any luck. I had a signed pacey contract and a default parent and because parent was no longer deployed they would not tske it any further.

[Tms]

you will not get any money back as you have not signed a contract, you should not have any child in your care without a signed contract is not signed your insurers would be unhappy and this could effect your policy and OFSTED can have your registration taken away if you do not have contracts in place as they are there to safeguard you and also the child.. However if you have concerns regarding the child I would be very careful about how you handle it as you do have a duty to deal with it but it could land you in very hot water .......

[loocyloo]

you will not get any money back as you have not signed a contract, you should not have any child in your care without a signed contract is not signed your insurers would be unhappy and this could effect your policy and OFSTED can have your registration taken away if you do not have contracts in place as they are there to safeguard you and also the child.. However if you have concerns regarding the child I would be very careful about how you handle it as you do have a duty to deal with it but it could land you in very hot water .......

you may not get any money back using pacey as your insurers as you don't have a signed contract, however, I think ( and I may be wrong ) that you can mind without a signed contract, however, you should have details of contact/emergency contacts and permission for this, that & the other. I don't think Ofsted will be bothered about not having a signed contract, but they would want to ensure that you have followed the guidelines relating to numbers etc. obviously it is best practice to have a contract signed, but in that the child was sort of family, I understand how it was not seen to be a priority.

I doubt you will get your money, but it may be worth talking to a solicitor ( some offer free sessions ) about them writing a letter to her. good luck.

for safeguarding concerns I would contact my local safeguarding board and tell them what you have told us. xx