Feeling like its getting too much

[Simona]

I love this website !!!!!!!
Thankyou and hugs to all, I'm feeling so much better

It's nice to know that other people are also feeling like this too. I do feel better after sorting out my facebook newsfeed. I can now sit and look through friends posts instead of constantly having to trawl through all the childminding threads, a lot of them talking about stuff I can't be bothered to read.

I'm just going to be myself from now on and I'm not gong to stress out about everything so much. I can only be what I am and I can do little improvements without having to get so obsessed.
I know I'm doing a good job and as long as I can maintain my rating and not go backwards I'll be happy.

HURRAY!!!

[Bluebell]

It's so sad that such lovely people that have been doing it as long as you all have are getting so fed up. I feel this way and I've only been doing it a couple of years so I thought it was me!

The whole Ofsted thing is strange because we know its impossible for them always to get it right on a short visit, to judge us on a 2 hour inspection every few years and we know that a lot of it is to do with red tape / paperwork / ticking boxes and on top of this children being well-behaved and making improvements - so really depends a lot of the time on the children you have on the day.
But having said that for those of us that really care and work hard and want to improve and want to get it right the Ofsted is the one chance we get for some of the hard work to be officially recognised so no matter how much we say 'well it would be nice but'.. well it does matter inside!

Please remember the children love you and the parents appreciate you and as has been said this is what is important - safe and happy children.

[toddlers896]

Jcrackers, you must be my twin. This is exactly how I used to feel. I've chilled out a bit but I've only been doing this job a couple of years and I am simply obsessed. I too wish I could just enjoy my job without thinking about next steps and what their play is telling me. My life revolves around childminding and my hubby is always telling me if I put as much effort into a sales job I would be earning a fortune.

[The Juggler]

crackers it sounds like you've identified for yourself what is taking the fun out of the job you used to love. You know things are in place, so apart from reflecting on things that might really make a difference just enjoy the children and watching and planning fun things for them. Stop worrying about improving your setting constantly - it sounds like it's already in a pretty good way to me.

big hugs

[toddlers896]

I became part of the 'independent group' on Facebook and I have just taken it off because I think a lot of my problems were coming from there. A lot of people with problems and too many pictures of other peoples settings. I was looking at my newsfeed and it was full of posts from the group and I had to filter through it to find friends posts. This was also happening out of work too so I felt it was taking over. I know its supposed to be a support group but I think the amount of newsfeed posts was stressing me too. Especially looking at other peoples houses, with all the ideas they had I started to feel a bit inferior even though I'm happy with what I have here. I do actually feel better now I've left the group and feel decluttered

We'd definitely are twins lol. I have also just done this as felt I was also obsessed with reading the posts and trying to keep on top of them all. I was on it every day and every evening. My hubby went to bed early every night as he was getting annoyed with me. Now I just need to do the same with this one. One step at a time lol

[CLL]

I too have been looking at everybody's 'setting' pictures on fb and tbh it just makes me feel sorry for them. All this competition to see who has the better 'nursery'. Most of them just have a house bursting with plastic toys. I have a playroom but it is not over the top, it looks more like a family room. I was graded as outstanding because of what I do, not because of how many shelving units I have filled with toys or how many posters I can display in my home. You are right to take a step back from it all, before you started looking on fb YOU thought your home was fine. Remember your own judgement is best.

[Simona]

Can anyone explain how a FB page can make people feel in the way it has been described by various people?

I am trying to get my head round what I am reading....as I am not on FB I am trying to visualise what goes on in this particular FB page...why are the photos upsetting many cms? why the competition and is it a particular page? or the whole of FB? some time ago there was a similar thread on cms being upset is it the same now ....people here are talking about obsession, FB is a social media but why does it trigger such strong feelings and obvious signs of upset is difficult to understand.

Is FB different from any other medium such as twitter or a forum ...I hope someone can explain

[toddlers896]

Can anyone explain how a FB page can make people feel in the way it has been described by various people? I am trying to get my head round what I am reading....as I am not on FB I am trying to visualise what goes on in this particular FB page...why are the photos upsetting many cms? why the competition and is it a particular page? or the whole of FB? some time ago there was a similar thread on cms being upset is it the same now ....people here are talking about obsession, FB is a social media but why does it trigger such strong feelings and obvious signs of upset is difficult to understand. Is FB different from any other medium such as twitter or a forum ...I hope someone can explain

It becomes an obsession Simona. What other people do doesn't bother me, I love getting the ideas but it's knowing when to stop and some people can't do that. I would see and idea and write it to my list and before you know it you are sleeping, eating and breathing childminding so the less you know about the better, hence the reason I deleted myself front the forum. I want to wind down at the end of the day, not get myself all hyper because I need to do some other idea I've found from a forum. If you can switch off at the end of the day then there's no problem with it, but I couldn't switch off and I was even waking up in the night thinking about what I had to do that day.
It becomes addictive and an obsession. Not good when it takes over your life for £3.75 per hr.

[SammySplodger]

I too have been looking at everybody's 'setting' pictures on fb and tbh it just makes me feel sorry for them. All this competition to see who has the better 'nursery'. Most of them just have a house bursting with plastic toys. I have a playroom but it is not over the top, it looks more like a family room. I was graded as outstanding because of what I do, not because of how many shelving units I have filled with toys or how many posters I can display in my home. You are right to take a step back from it all, before you started looking on fb YOU thought your home was fine. Remember your own judgement is best.

I know exactly what you mean, feels like a competition at times... but I wonder if it actually makes any difference to Mrs O (having a playroom that looks like a nursery) probably not! What if those busy uploading photos aren't that great at interacting with LOs? It ain't what you do, but the way that you do it! Given up beating myself up about this!

JCrakers - feeling pretty jaded myself ATM - it's a full-on job. Sending you best wishes. I just try to rest properly at weekends, only way I can cope,
x

[FussyElmo]

Can anyone explain how a FB page can make people feel in the way it has been described by various people?

I am trying to get my head round what I am reading....as I am not on FB I am trying to visualise what goes on in this particular FB page...why are the photos upsetting many cms? why the competition and is it a particular page? or the whole of FB? some time ago there was a similar thread on cms being upset is it the same now ....people here are talking about obsession, FB is a social media but why does it trigger such strong feelings and obvious signs of upset is difficult to understand.

Is FB different from any other medium such as twitter or a forum ...I hope someone can explain

How to say this as gently as possible its not the page that is causing people to feel like this. But the person themselves. if you are the sort of person who has to implement everything you see on there then yes it will drive you nuts. You are supposed to take what suits you away from it not everything.

There has been some lovely paperwork shared but again if it doesn't suit you then why do it?

Fb doesn't trigger strong feelings and upset and if it does then maybe its time for the person it causing it for to take a step away from fb as it being used wrongly

[SammySplodger]

It becomes an obsession Simona. What other people do doesn't bother me, I love getting the ideas but it's knowing when to stop and some people can't do that. I would see and idea and write it to my list and before you know it you are sleeping, eating and breathing childminding so the less you know about the better, hence the reason I deleted myself front the forum. I want to wind down at the end of the day, not get myself all hyper because I need to do some other idea I've found from a forum. If you can switch off at the end of the day then there's no problem with it, but I couldn't switch off and I was even waking up in the night thinking about what I had to do that day.
It becomes addictive and an obsession. Not good when it takes over your life for £3.75 per hr.

I just ignore all the less useful posts and self-filter as there are still many very useful bits of info (Sarah's especially) and some of the files are brilliant and very generous. The 'setting' photos are really no different to those appearing on my personal news feed of people with massive houses / exotic holidays / snazzy new car. I just ignore them and move on. No point getting upset. And never the whole picture. You have to just take the best parts of FB (and there are many). Absolutely agree some are obsessed - working on that myself ;-) But I find it hard to switch off at the end of the day. We are all different.
x

[SammySplodger]

How to say this as gently as possible its not the page that is causing people to feel like this. But the person themselves. if you are the sort of person who has to implement everything you see on there then yes it will drive you nuts. You are supposed to take what suits you away from it not everything.

There has been some lovely paperwork shared but again if it doesn't suit you then why do it?

Fb doesn't trigger strong feelings and upset and if it does then maybe its time for the person it causing it for to take a step away from fb as it being used wrongly

Spot on Fussy!

[mrs robbie williams]

In the same feel so pressured all the time about paperwork that needs to be done but doing 10-12 hr days I have no time, got DO comjng Thursday and no doubt she will be full of ideas!!

[k-tots]

After school clubs run by schools are all well and good but they do not have the home setting as a cm nor do the majority of them provide evening meals.....I had to send my dd5 while I was working away to after school every evening. ...but oh had to give her a quick tea when they got back.....at least with a cm u know they are more likely to eat at a normal time x

[toddlers896]

How to say this as gently as possible its not the page that is causing people to feel like this. But the person themselves. if you are the sort of person who has to implement everything you see on there then yes it will drive you nuts. You are supposed to take what suits you away from it not everything.

There has been some lovely paperwork shared but again if it doesn't suit you then why do it?

Fb doesn't trigger strong feelings and upset and if it does then maybe its time for the person it causing it for to take a step away from fb as it being used wrongly

The problem is though fussy Elmo is there is tooooo many good ideas on there lol and they all suit me. I've tried and tested lots of paperwork and like you say it's finding what's right for you, I find myself saying lots of times oh that's a good way of doing it, I change my paperwork and then see another great idea and then oh I like that one better and start all over again. If I had been doing this job years I don't think I would be so obsessed but it's early days and I want my work to be perfecto !! I will probably get bored soon.

[Simona]

Is there such a thing as 'lovely' or 'perfect' paperwork?
What each cm uses has to be something they understand and can get them to explain to an inspector why it works for the cm and how she can clearly show evidence of children's progress

So all this is about some people putting photos and their paperwork on FB and causing stress to others?
Whoever owns the page I suppose should be in charge and allow for meaningful info sharing ...on twitter you have a 'block' button...is there not one on FB?
is that a simple question?

I would ignore all this and instead try to follow what Truss said this morning at the Education Select Committee...that will make your day!

[FussyElmo]

Is there such a thing as 'lovely' or 'perfect' paperwork?
What each cm uses has to be something they understand and can get them to explain to an inspector why it works for the cm and how she can clearly show evidence of children's progress

So all this is about some people putting photos and their paperwork on FB and causing stress to others?
Whoever owns the page I suppose should be in charge and allow for meaningful info sharing ...on twitter you have a 'block' button...is there not one on FB?
is that a simple question?

I would ignore all this and instead try to follow what Truss said this morning at the Education Select Committee...that will make your day!

Simona nobody is putting photos or paperwork on fb to cause stress to others they are doing to share practise with other childminders.

[toddlers896]

Is there such a thing as 'lovely' or 'perfect' paperwork?
What each cm uses has to be something they understand and can get them to explain to an inspector why it works for the cm and how she can clearly show evidence of children's progress

So all this is about some people putting photos and their paperwork on FB and causing stress to others?
Whoever owns the page I suppose should be in charge and allow for meaningful info sharing ...on twitter you have a 'block' button...is there not one on FB?
is that a simple question?

I would ignore all this and instead try to follow what Truss said this morning at the Education Select Committee...that will make your day!

I don't understand why things get blown out of proportion. I suppose it gets back to everybody reads things in a different way.
Nobody said they are bothered about other peoples photos and their paperwork and nobody is causing stress to anybody. Well not me anyway! I love it, its great to get feedback from other people. My setting wouldn't be as it is without the help ive had from the forums. All I am simply saying is it can be addictive, but that's my fault nobody elses.
Do you never see a document and say oh that looks good and would work for me? I do it all the time - its called CPD. I don't just take others ideas because it looks good or perfect as you say and would never take an idea if I didn't understand it. What would be the point in that?
My paperwork at the moment is Perfect!! until I see another idea that would work for me

[Bluebell]

I understood what you meant - you are a perfectionist who is always striving to be better and better! That can be a bad thing when it is taking over your life and leaving you worn out! I am always seeing stuff and thinking how brilliant!

I left a lot of things to slide - things were in place but I wasn't reviewing them regularly like I normally would. I was doing my EYP so was very specific with what I had in place, then I had a summer holiday and had a bit of a break from it all then in September I reviewed everything and it is quite over-whelmimg because once you decide you want to make something better and change it then it all feels like it has to be done right NOW!! I've changed my observations, my planning, started a new online system, have re-filed everything so it is clearer and easy to find, started a new information sharing system and am still to review all my policies and it can't all be done at once but the only person putting pressure on myself to get it all done now is me! (well unless I have an Ofsted next week!)

Good luck to you and I understand your decision to take a step back from it all and just enjoy it!

[toddlers896]

I understood what you meant - you are a perfectionist who is always striving to be better and better! That can be a bad thing when it is taking over your life and leaving you worn out! I am always seeing stuff and thinking how brilliant!

I left a lot of things to slide - things were in place but I wasn't reviewing them regularly like I normally would. I was doing my EYP so was very specific with what I had in place, then I had a summer holiday and had a bit of a break from it all then in September I reviewed everything and it is quite over-whelmimg because once you decide you want to make something better and change it then it all feels like it has to be done right NOW!! I've changed my observations, my planning, started a new online system, have re-filed everything so it is clearer and easy to find, started a new information sharing system and am still to review all my policies and it can't all be done at once but the only person putting pressure on myself to get it all done now is me! (well unless I have an Ofsted next week!)

Good luck to you and I understand your decision to take a step back from it all and just enjoy it!

Thankyou bluelion - you have worded that for me perfect - Ive never been good at explaining what I mean lol. I like to think ime a perfectionist but I have wasted so much ink re-doing policies and planning that I wonder if its now OCD lol. My friends always tell me I will never be happy with what I do because I just cant be happy with what I have. It does take over your life that's why i was saying i try not to go on the forums now. ha ha, I've been on this one all afternoon - so funny. got a few tips though lol x