Childminder group not good

[bunnyjess]

I'm quite nervous at times and went to a childminder toddler group for the first time today. Luckily someone I knew was there but no one else spoke to me or anything. It's made me feel aweful and has really put me off going to other groups. It's also made me question whether I've made the right choice. I'm good with the children but I'm a bit nervous when doing new things such as going to these groups. Feel totally disheartened

[mrs robbie williams]

i do lots of surestart groups but havnt done a cm group i find the thought quite scary not sure why tbh xx

[JCrakers]

Mines the same, I stopped going and now only go to normal toddler groups, the Mums seem friendlier. I know a lot of people to say hello to but not really made any friends there but that's ok

I'm also not that great in groups and found it hard to get into the childminding group. No one really spoke to me and I ended up sitting next to a grumpy old woman who hated eyfs, ofsted and childminding in general...
It depressed me so I stopped going

[bunnyjess]

Ah it's nice to hear I'm not alone. I'm going to try and not be put off and try a normal group tomorrow to see how that is. I just thought childminders would be more friendly than that

[Mouse]

The first group I went to years ago, no one spoke to me, all the other cms went to the kitchen & left me with all the children, they did a raffle each week, but didn't include me...not a very friendly bunch at all!

Luckily there was one friendly lady who arrived late (after they'd all left me & done the raffle) and came straight over to talk to me. If it wasn't for her I'd never have gone back, but she kept dragging me along! She also introduced me to a much friendlier group of childminders who were very welcoming. We're all still friends now, although many have left childminding. The group has been running for years and is very welcoming to all new childminders. The unfriendly group closed after a while as they were all talking behind each others backs & had a massive fall out! They also struggled to get new members as they were so horrible.

Don't give up yet. Try to find another group of childminders or parents, who welcome you with open arms. There are some out there

[Simona]

It does happen everywhere and can be very 'cliquey' and scaring for cms...in future independent cm swill have to learn to be more inclusive and make everyone feel welcome


I suggest you introduce yourself to the group, say you are new but would like to be introduced to others...these places benefit cms and their children...isolating a cm also isolates the children in her care!!

[mummyMia]

I think the trouble with childminding groups is that the people who go will often have known each other for years and may socialise outside of the group. Once they have their circle of friends, they can't always be bothered to put in the effort to get to know anybody new. The mum and toddler groups have a much higher turnover with children going off to preschool and new babies being born. So there are always lots of mums coming and going and people just seem friendlier. I have been going to a couple of childminding groups for about 9 months now and it has been very tough at times, but I am finally making friends and have started getting some invites for playdates, so I think it has been worth it.

[Simona]

I think the trouble with childminding groups is that the people who go will often have known each other for years and may socialise outside of the group. Once they have their circle of friends, they can't always be bothered to put in the effort to get to know anybody new. The mum and toddler groups have a much higher turnover with children going off to preschool and new babies being born. So there are always lots of mums coming and going and people just seem friendlier. I have been going to a couple of childminding groups for about 9 months now and it has been very tough at times, but I am finally making friends and have started getting some invites for playdates, so I think it has been worth it.

I agree that some cms end up socialising and that is no problem BUT a playgroup is an opportunity for CPD and inclusion...professional should be distinguished from personal...my view of course!

[Chatterbox Childcare]

My group used to be clickey but now we are all friendly, open minded and respectful of each other. We trade secrets and network well so no one is out of work

[bunnyjess]

Ah thank you everyone. I think I'm just going to try a normal baby and toddler group and try that one again in the future. I just don't want to feel that uncomfortable again as it just wasn't nice

[charlottenash]

We don't have a CM group (unless it's a big secret haha) but I haven't been to many toddler groups either as look after a 4yo who isn't interested in them.

I've always felt uncomfortable at them unless I turn up with someone or know someone there already.

[Daisy De]

My friend who is also a childminder and I went to a monthly childminder group a few months ago. We were the only ones there and had a great time with all the new toys

We have been several times since and have only met one other childminder

[karen m]

I go to 2 childminding groups that are very friendly we always make a point of including new minders but we find that after a couple of sessions they have stopped coming . I also know a lot of other minders to speak to and generally get on well with at courses and forums but would never go to the groups they go to as I feel intimated daft I know

[critch]

I haven't found a childminder group in my area but I went to the childrens centre the other days and the ladies that run it were really lovely to me and talked to me about ofsted and really welcomed the lo I had much needed as was feeling isolated!

[karensmart4]

I co-ordinate our local cm drop-in, I email all of the cm's in the area to remind them what date and time the next meet up will be, give them a bit of info about what we might be doing, tell them that if they know of any new minders in the area to ask them along as I may not have their info yet. I do my best to talk to everyone and introduce new members to existing ones. I know that as cm's we don't generally have session times so it's not always viable/easy to attend so I book different days of the week (we get 2hrs once a mth).

I hope we are welcoming and not clicky, I would hate that people feel left out.. childminding is isolating enough for some without other cm's making it worse

Better luck with future visits and don't let that one put you off completely

[Essbops]

I went to one and bumped into a few childminders who had come round pretending to be interested parents when I first started! I think they felt more awkward than me lol. Don't know what it's like round other places but cms round here seem to see you as completion rather than support. We do have over 20 childminders in a half mile arduous though. I just stick to mum and baby groups now though.

[chriss]

Just out of interest, do you do anything different at the CM group than a todllers group ?

[karensmart4]

Just out of interest, do you do anything different at the CM group than a todllers group ?

If you are a friendly group like ours you support each other, you exchange ideas, you network really.... everything that is said is confidential although we do make it a rule that we don't use names etc. to identify a person we may need to talk/ask advice about.

So yes we are a bit different from toddler groups but I think they are both worth going to for their own reasons.