Aspergers Advice please!

**lizzymoonshine** · 07-03-2008, 12:27 PM

Hi

Just wanted a bit of advice (taking my mind off osted coming!)

I've just had a lady ring me who wants me to care for her 14 year old daughter who has mild Aspergers.

I have no experience and only know a little about it, just wondered if anyone could offer me any advice as i don't want to turn this lady away, want to be able to offer the best possible care.

thanks

**miffy** · 07-03-2008, 12:37 PM

I care for a little boy with aspergers and have also cared for a girl with it in the past

I have some info from a training course i went on about it - there is a good support group in Notts but mum may be part of this already

Am going out in a mo but will sort it out when I come back and pm you

miffy xx

**katickles** · 07-03-2008, 12:37 PM

There was a great thread on this maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago (could even be more!) One of the ladies children has this so was full of advice, will see if i can find it

**oakie dokie** · 07-03-2008, 12:38 PM

offer her the place, let her come to see you, treat her the same as the others. Ask parent all the questions you feel you need to. if its very mild you may not even tell she has asperges. Do not be put off. i looked after my friends little girl, we didnt know at the time she had asperges but we did know things were not quite right, her triggers were things like telly tubbies, couldnt stand to see them or hear them so we just didnt have them on, or the soft toy ones out when she was here.

good luck, im not very good at explaining myself, but go for it.

hazelx

**mamapink** · 07-03-2008, 12:38 PM

hello

have a look on this site www.aspies.co.uk

sorry do not have any personal experience to share with you

bye pink

**Splish Splosh** · 07-03-2008, 12:53 PM

I had a boy of 7 who had this he was a lovely lad he did have moments and didnt really see any danger in anything so had to be careful when we went out at all. It was very challenging at times but very rewarding as well. good luck with this.

**lizzymoonshine** · 07-03-2008, 12:54 PM

Thank you all, very much appreciated!

**berkschick** · 07-03-2008, 01:12 PM

My daughter is 13, 14 this year and she has Aspergers.

PM me if you think I might be able to help

I think you will find she will take a few weeks to settle in but once you know her little ways and what she enjoys doing, you will have no problems with her.

She will need a routine and will thrive very well with one. Dont say oh tomorrow we will do xyz and then when tomorrow comes change it to abc as she wont cope and will go into meltdown!

You may find she has social skill problems and will not look at you when you talk to her but this doesnt mean she isnt listening. She may say inappropriate things ( my daughter told a teacher at school recently that she thought another teacher was a cow

). They dont mean any harm by it, they just dont understand other peoples feelings and how they affect them. Alice ( my DD) only really understands happy and sad, and only understands sad if you cry.

I have found that Alice LOVES the younger children and is actually very good with them. I think this is because they dont expect anything from her.

I have started an essay here now, anything else you need to know just ask

**peggy** · 07-03-2008, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by lizzymoonshine

Hi

Just wanted a bit of advice (taking my mind off osted coming!)

I've just had a lady ring me who wants me to care for her 14 year old daughter who has mild Aspergers.

I have no experience and only know a little about it, just wondered if anyone could offer me any advice as i don't want to turn this lady away, want to be able to offer the best possible care.

thanks

My son has mild aspergers no one seems to notice to be honest! If its mild it shouldnt be too much of a problem, but its worth knowing from the mum what her interests are, aspergers children to tend be obsessed with a handful of subjects, my son's is road maps and tornado's and he'll often just speak about them just "radomly" Sometimes they can e very very blunt which may come across as rude, but they arent meaning to be rude! They may just come out and tell you that you have a wonky nose or whatever as they do tend to me factual in everything they do.

The best thing to do is to be honest that your not familar with aspergers but have done some research, and ask the mum to tell you what to expect from her daughter really. If someone asked me i would say about my own son that he HAS to finish something he has completed, so I would tell the childminder not to spring suprises on him for example just annoucing that they have to go out, I say that my son would needed forewarning and prompting to finish his drawing as we're going out - it things like that you need to know!!

**angeldelight** · 07-03-2008, 01:55 PM

You have had heaps of good advice

Just wanted to say good luck

Angel xx

**peggy** · 07-03-2008, 01:55 PM

Originally Posted by berkschick

My daughter is 13, 14 this year and she has Aspergers.

She will need a routine and will thrive very well with one. Dont say oh tomorrow we will do xyz and then when tomorrow comes change it to abc as she wont cope and will go into meltdown!

God yeah this is well important! Sometimes I tend not to tell my son anything about what I have planned for him as he really does not cope well if anything should change!

**miss muffit** · 07-03-2008, 02:26 PM

Hi I look after a 10year old girl who has aspergers syndrom, i take her too and from school. I dont really have a problem with her.
The school has had lots of problems with her they ban her from school sometimes, she goes in the morning and has to be collected at lunch time by her parent.
Another childminder had her before me and had lots of problems with her running off and being spitful to her other minded children.
I have on her contract that if she kicks off at school then the school has to contact the parent to collect her as its not fair to the rest of us. I have done this once, as she had been in the headmasters office all afternoon and she was in a really horrible mood.
I do find she is a very helpful girl...when she wants to be
I was also told by our development worker not to leave her with the other children ...only because she mit be a bit sligh
As I say I havent really had a problem...well not yet!
Go for it and Good luck

**Heaven Scent** · 07-03-2008, 02:49 PM

I have looked after children who have had aspergers to a greater or lesser degree and I cannot give you any advice that those who have children who have aspergers could give you.

All I can say if you do take on this child make sure that you have written in your policy that you can accept the child so long as nothing in her care routine will diminish the care you give to your existing children or will put them in danger and then if it does then you will be within your rights to cancel the agreement if not you could find yourself in trouble for discrimination. Also have a longer settling in period and more pre starting visits. Its something that came up on a course I went on once and just thought it might be useful to bear in mind.

My other advice is to have some very long meetings with the parents and get as much information from them about their child they know her best of all and their input is invaluable (as with all parents really). Then seek permission to speak to other people who have been responsible for her care and education because like with us all she will behave differently in different situations so its best to have as much information as possible before you start.

Celine

**lizzymoonshine** · 07-03-2008, 02:50 PM

Thank you all, some fantastic advice there, feel a bit better now, just didn't want to let this lady or her daughter down by my lack of knowledge.

Thank you all again, much appreciated!