Stop being sorry

[Zoomie]

I have a 4y old mindee who has been going through a stage of hurting other children and then immediately saying sorry. So I know that he knows this is wrong, but I am so sick of him being sorry, and have asked him to be more careful / kind (sorry is too late, the other child has already been hurt) but it just doesn't seem to be making any difference.

Can anyone recommend any story books that I could read with him / share at home ?

[Katiekoo]

I have one called be gentle:
Be Gentle!: Amazon.co.uk: Virginia Miller: Books
It's sweet and cheap too! It helped my lo's understand that what is fun for themselves is sometimes too rough for others. It shows a child playing a bit 'full on' with a little kitten whose face shows he's not happy but the child carries on, pushing the kitten on a swing, playing loud instruments etc, until the cat runs off, it has a nice ending too of course! We learned to look out for worried looks on each others' faces.

[blue bear]

At four I would make him sit out and think about his action and say sorry when I say he can, that way he can't just say sorry as a get out of jail quick card and do as you like.

[Helen79]

At four I would make him sit out and think about his action and say sorry when I say he can, that way he can't just say sorry as a get out of jail quick card and do as you like.

I agree with bluebear. Does he really understand what sorry means rather than it just being a habit to say it. I'd ask him to think about why he's saying sorry, what he is actually sorry for and to think about why he needs to say sorry to the other children, so that he understands that x is sad cos he hurt them and he needs to say sorry to make them feel happier again.
There's a good range of books on amazon called 'hands are not for hitting', 'teeth are not for biting' and 'feet are not for kicking' that might help him to stop hurting the other children.

[Zoomie]

Thanks, he definitely knows that hitting / pushing hurts, that teeth are for food (he tried to bite) but I agree that time out is appropriate too. I will see about getting some of those books.

[miffy]

There's a good range of books on amazon called 'hands are not for hitting', 'teeth are not for biting' and 'feet are not for kicking' that might help him to stop hurting the other children.

I have used these books, they are very good for young children.

If you don't want to buy them asks t your library

Miffy xx

[sineadquinn]

I could have written this myself. Luckily I only have the little boy in the holidays but he really does make the day so stressful. I resorted to time out for him last week and it seemed to have
a positive impact. Although its hard to maintain and uphold this when I don't have him very often. Hope your able to get it sorted soon. X

[shortstuff]

I have a mindee of a similar age and time out seemed to have no effect. I found an improvement chart on a website which i can name for you if you pm me. There are three lines where you can give the lo things to do better at. If they are good all day, such as no hitting, they get a smiley face. If they get enough smileys by the end of the week lo gets a treat from mummy. I found this has a better result with this lo as they know mum is on board too.

Dont know if this will help you?