Help with a 34 month old who does not want to go home each night......

**LeanneC** · 15-10-2012, 12:42 PM

Hi ladies,

Have tried everything, mum texting 10 mins before she gets here so I can start talking about mum collecting or dad and we put shoes on etc he still kicks off. He has had to be picked up a fair few times so he does not hurt himself or others because of his tantrums. I don't know why this happens, he has a loving family at home, my house is fun ( if I say so myself) but all the other children young and old that have passed through my house have never done this. I'm not sure what to do, parents don't really have any consistency in the time they collect him so it could be 4pm one day or 5:30pm the next or a little in between so I can't get him ready if they dont text. We agreed for them to text me 10 mins before they arrive so I can prepare him for their arrival and he isn't suprised and has to stop playing etc but he still starts runnning around...He has trashed my playroom once before out of temper, luckily I managed to get my girls in my lounge and everyone else had gone by this stage so no injuries.

Im really stuck though as to what I can do to keep him calm, i've tried jigsaws and then he has mum or dad come in to look at them as he's proud to finish them but then kicks off

when they say lets get your coat or pls put your shoes on, if he has them on already (shoes) I have to go around closing doors to the rest of my house and the gate on my kitchen is closed anyway just so he can't sprint through and run away.

At the end of the day, as much as you love the little muchkins you just want to say bye see you tomorrow and close the door.... I wish

Any ideas would be great Thanks ladies & gents

**dette** · 15-10-2012, 12:45 PM

have you tried a sticker if he can go without making a fuss...i know it sounds lame but kids love stickers

**LeanneC** · 15-10-2012, 12:51 PM

Yes, a few months ago we tried the stickers but he ate them...no concept of stickers at all.

His behaviour isn't the best at most, so as he is a little older now and his speach has improved a great deal Im starting a sticker chart for his behaviour, actually today

oops need to make one with him this afternoon , he's been ok today so he will go home with a big gold star sticker.

**dette** · 15-10-2012, 12:55 PM

one of my LO puts his on his head ..my DS school puts a tick on the end of their noses with biro if they have been good ..cant eat that

**JCrakers** · 15-10-2012, 12:58 PM

Do you think it's for attention?

I had a similar child but he was older. When I was trying to tell mum what we had done (younger sister) he would run off and hide, climb the stair gate, hit her, hang on her, jump on my sofa, try and open the door.

All this for attention be it negative but he got it.
Things calmed down after a while but I tried stickers, putting shoes on, texting her...

**Ripeberry** · 15-10-2012, 01:13 PM

Sounds like an attention thing. My mindee last year (he's in school now) had his little brother who had just turned one and the first thing mindee would do was thump his brother..just to get mum's attention. Did not matter if ALL attention was on him in the first place. It was out of habit that baby brother had to be thumped!

With the OP child, if the parents arrive by car I would not even bother with shoes and coats if they get kicked off. The car will be warm, the parents can carry him to it and strap him in. A few 'carry outs' and he might decide to calm down if he's not getting the 'wrong' attention.

**LeanneC** · 15-10-2012, 07:00 PM

Well he did get a gold star tonight, a little encouragement from myself and mum to put down the new toy he'd got out after clearing away te cars he had been playing with to put his coat on but eventually he did it and went home.

No screaming and shouting...it's only day one so maybe over the top praise just for putting on coat and shoes without a fuss is what it needs for a while.

**blue bear** · 15-10-2012, 07:06 PM

I'd have his cot and shoes on and be stood outside ready and waiting, as soon as mum out of the cr and it's safe, bye bye other chikdren in and leave mum to it, without an audience he might go more peacefully.

**LeanneC** · 15-10-2012, 07:57 PM

Originally Posted by blue bear

I'd have his cot and shoes on and be stood outside ready and waiting, as soon as mum out of the cr and it's safe, bye bye other chikdren in and leave mum to it, without an audience he might go more peacefully.

Believe me I've had his shoes on faster than mum can get out the car, no coat and by the door and even with an empty house he still does it. I'll keep my fingers crossed he will get bored of it eventually!
Thanks for your comments