Parents threatening to leave before notice period, advice please?
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  1. #41
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    I had something similar last year. The parent wouldnt tell me what days her lo was going to preschool, fobbing me off all the time. Eventually i got it out of her the day b4 my holiday. The week after she turned up and said i guess its their last day today. I replied that i'd had no notice. She shouted at me then cleared off. Was nice as pie on collection then went off on one. I burst into tears after they left. She didnt like the fact that i told her she signed a contract and either of our holiday couldnt be included in notice period. They were off on holiday the following day. I contacted morton michel, got advice on here and sent a letter to them accepting the verbal notice . I stuck to my guns and eventually got my money...a week after the date i gave them to pay by. I was told to stick to the facts and only contact them by letter. I even said los place would be available til xx date. I could see it all coming and i felt used. Im not at being assertive face to face. I hate confrontation. To me it was the principle, they signed the contract. Funny how people turn when moneys involved!

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by lollipop kid View Post

    I like your style, Ripeberry! I have been known to 'go sick' in the child's final week when a parent starts to play silly beggars. (Only used as a last resort mind, and I made sure no other families were affected.)

    Shhhh!



    LK
    :-) :-) :-) like!

  4. #43
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    I'd just let them go and just say you're sad to see the child go. I'd put it down to a bad experience and just move on ...

  5. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerry30 View Post
    I had something similar last year. The parent wouldnt tell me what days her lo was going to preschool, fobbing me off all the time. Eventually i got it out of her the day b4 my holiday. The week after she turned up and said i guess its their last day today. I replied that i'd had no notice. She shouted at me then cleared off. Was nice as pie on collection then went off on one. I burst into tears after they left. She didnt like the fact that i told her she signed a contract and either of our holiday couldnt be included in notice period. They were off on holiday the following day. I contacted morton michel, got advice on here and sent a letter to them accepting the verbal notice . I stuck to my guns and eventually got my money...a week after the date i gave them to pay by. I was told to stick to the facts and only contact them by letter. I even said los place would be available til xx date. I could see it all coming and i felt used. Im not at being assertive face to face. I hate confrontation. To me it was the principle, they signed the contract. Funny how people turn when moneys involved!

    Mine was principle too - the mother ran her own beauty salon and thought she was a contender for "business woman of the year" and that I was nothing more than an employee, so I wanted to make her realise that a contract was a contract in the eyes of the law and that I wasn't going to bow down to her.

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  7. #45
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    The more I read the more I want to shout stick to your guns. This is why we have a contract . Your insurance company are there to give advise and help recover the money. It may be only 4 days pay but to some of us cms 4 days pay can be a difference between being able to afford to fill the oil tank this week or fix the car. I know a couple if years ago This was the case for me I would correspond by letter keep calm and professional and just repeat what is on your contract. As per Contract that you signed is always a good line they say they have lost their contract therefore they probably had no idea of the terms on it and were really trying their luck and now realise they won't get of with it stand your ground!!!!
    Tess1981

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  9. #46
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    I've slept on it and decided I need to see this through I won't give them notice, that won't benefit the child, who will miss me and his friends a lot.

    I've spoken to parents this morning, given them a photocopy of their signed contract and will now not speak to them about it again. I'm not going to repeat myself to them time and time again.

    I will keep you all updated! Xx

  10. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdeleMarie88 View Post
    I've slept on it and decided I need to see this through I won't give them notice, that won't benefit the child, who will miss me and his friends a lot.

    I've spoken to parents this morning, given them a photocopy of their signed contract and will now not speak to them about it again. I'm not going to repeat myself to them time and time again.

    I will keep you all updated! Xx
    As in all of these cases, you have to do what is right for you. We can all give our thoughts, but at the end of the day it's your business and you have to do what you want to do.

    As parents have asked for a copy if the contract, it does sound as if they're having second thoughts. Maybe they've taken advice on it and been told that if they have signed a contract they need to stick to it and can't just refuse to pay. Hopefully they'll start to feel ashamed about the way they've spoken to you and just pay up as agreed in the contract.

    You are dealing with it all very professionally so just keep counting down the days till they've gone

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  12. #48
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    I've really appreciated all of your advice it's been invaluable!

    I have a feeling they will read the contract they should have read before they signed it, and realise I'm not being "discourteous" and perhaps we can then come to an agreement. I just won't be belittled.

    Massive lesson learnt to always take deposits!!! It's a shame as I've never had to do that before because I tend to look after people's children who I vaguely know through Nct groups and mutual acquaintances and have just trusted them.

    My co-ordinator told me to let it go. That doesn't sit comfortably with me, but neither does giving immediate notice. Hence my decision to wait it out for a bit

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  14. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdeleMarie88 View Post
    I've really appreciated all of your advice it's been invaluable!

    I have a feeling they will read the contract they should have read before they signed it, and realise I'm not being "discourteous" and perhaps we can then come to an agreement. I just won't be belittled.

    Massive lesson learnt to always take deposits!!! It's a shame as I've never had to do that before because I tend to look after people's children who I vaguely know through Nct groups and mutual acquaintances and have just trusted them.

    My co-ordinator told me to let it go. That doesn't sit comfortably with me, but neither does giving immediate notice. Hence my decision to wait it out for a bit
    Money is one of those areas that it's easy to fall out over.

    Just be very guarded while their child is still with you. No falls, bumps, or anything else that these parents might be able to use to complain to Ofsted about. (You'd be surprised.) I bet your co-ordinator has heard a lot of horror stories resulting from similar cases, and is just trying to give you her best advice. It's entirely up to you what you want to do - staying professional and not taking it personally is the first step.

    I hope it works out for you.

    All the very best,

    LK

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    Yes, you have to do what you feel is best. You sound a lot more sensible than me...lol

    Everyone handles situations differently so well done you for doing this. Everyone has had different experiences in life and that's how they come to decisions about what to do.

    Good luck with your decision.
    Time Out.. The perfect time for thinking about what you're going to destroy next.

  16. #51
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    Hi
    I sympathise and have had the exact same scenario happen to me.

    I ended up with not only a months unpaid fees for 2 full time children (excuses for non payment) & no paid notice. I was very wary of going down the court route due to living in a small town & being bad mouthed BUT I did it non the less.

    Im Quite stubborn and work hard so thought why should they get away with something they wouldn't dream of doing to a nursery for example?

    It was tough..as soon as they had the first letter from the solicitors i had an allegation made against me, in terms of stress it was very difficult despite knowing I'd done nothing wrong. It took over a year to sort out but I did get what I was owed. Turns out it wasn't the first time they had done it, not only to 2 other childminders but a couple of nurserys too so are slowly running out of places to send the children.

    I say I'd never do it again but it depends on the circumstances.

    Good luck, do what you feels right, there is no loyalty at times I'm afraid? X

  17. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by lollipop kid View Post
    Money is one of those areas that it's easy to fall out over. Just be very guarded while their child is still with you. No falls, bumps, or anything else that these parents might be able to use to complain to Ofsted about. (You'd be surprised.) I bet your co-ordinator has heard a lot of horror stories resulting from similar cases, and is just trying to give you her best advice. It's entirely up to you what you want to do - staying professional and not taking it personally is the first step. I hope it works out for you. All the very best, LK
    Didn't see the other replies but yes this is what I've just posted about

  18. #53
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    Well just an update, parents had lost their copy of the contract (again!!) so I photocopied it and gave it to them Thursday, dad said he would get back to me, but hasn't. I won't see them again until weds, if they turn up. I am guessing that they always had this date from the nursery but were hedging their bets and wanted to keep me on just in case the nursery didn't work out. I am prepared, financially, to make this loss.

    I don't quite know what they are hoping to find in the contract, it's a pacey one, they signed it, that's it. If they come back next week, are polite and respectful I will just let them leave and that will be it. I don't want to go down the court route and don't think I will it's not worth it

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  20. #54
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    Got an email from the dad tonight saying they are leaving immediately, a few other nasty remarks in their blah blah blah. I told them fine leave, they are paid up to this week, I won't send them a final bill they don't owe any more.

    I'm both sad and relieved. It's disappointing adults can behave like such petulant children when they don't get what they want. Never mind you live and learn.

    Thank you for all your support!

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  22. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdeleMarie88 View Post
    Got an email from the dad tonight saying they are leaving immediately, a few other nasty remarks in their blah blah blah. I told them fine leave, they are paid up to this week, I won't send them a final bill they don't owe any more. I'm both sad and relieved. It's disappointing adults can behave like such petulant children when they don't get what they want. Never mind you live and learn. Thank you for all your support!
    I don't get why they would be nasty when they are pulling their child from your care to put them in nursery. Did something happen they weren't happy with? Sorry if I missed it in the thread :-) x

  23. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdeleMarie88 View Post
    Got an email from the dad tonight saying they are leaving immediately, a few other nasty remarks in their blah blah blah. I told them fine leave, they are paid up to this week, I won't send them a final bill they don't owe any more.

    I'm both sad and relieved. It's disappointing adults can behave like such petulant children when they don't get what they want. Never mind you live and learn.

    Thank you for all your support!
    That's actually really good news. You've behaved really well and not let the parents get their own way. Well done you!

    Onwards and upwards, eh?

    Personally, I ask for 4 weeks' deposit on signing contracts, plus the first 4 week's advance payment before the child even sets foot in my setting.

    This way, if the money isn't paid, the child doesn't start. Simples.

    Good luck with everything.

    All the best - big hugs,

    LK

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  25. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by AdeleMarie88 View Post
    Got an email from the dad tonight saying they are leaving immediately, a few other nasty remarks in their blah blah blah. I told them fine leave, they are paid up to this week, I won't send them a final bill they don't owe any more.

    I'm both sad and relieved. It's disappointing adults can behave like such petulant children when they don't get what they want. Never mind you live and learn.

    Thank you for all your support!
    They may think they've got their way, but I bet they don't feel any satisfaction. They're probably still stewing over it.

    Your best response is to let it go and not let them and their pettiness bother you any more. Leave them trying to justify their actions to themselves while you move on, get another family and put them to the back of your mind

  26. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by mumofone View Post
    I don't get why they would be nasty when they are pulling their child from your care to put them in nursery. Did something happen they weren't happy with? Sorry if I missed it in the thread :-) x
    Just because I wanted them to give me four weeks notice, they just got silly, because they "allowed" me to have unpaid maternity leave, I should have been courteous and so on...it was the third time they had been rude so I'm glad they have left

  27. #59
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    Yes i agree this is the best ending, just a shame I haven't had chance to say goodbye to child, I brought him a present! I may post it to them, along with his photos and art work x

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    It is sad when it ends like this, but, even sadder, this probably won't be the last time, and you won't be the last provider they do it to

    For yourself, learn from it, take steps to prevent it happening again as much as possible, and hold your head up high

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