Potty training
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Thread: Potty training

  1. #1
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    Default Potty training

    Hi,
    Just would like your thoughts on potty training mom off in holidays but I still have child a few days a week an she said she is going to potty train a still bring child here whilst starting to potty train I've said really at least the first week you potty train an stay in the house as I've potty trained 3 of my own so I sort of have an idea ,but I have felt this coming that I'm going to be asked to do it as I already take child to have haircut etc cause won't go for mom, I'm supporting parent by talking threw potty training and what to expect an got a child's potty training book to take home and have one here but am I meant to potty train?
    As I just don't feel that that is my job and I also don't really thinks it's fair as I already go beyond with other stuff


    Thanks xxx

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    could you sit and talk things through with mum? I think that would help because she might think it is part of your responsibility. To have an open chat might alleviate some possible tension that might creep through between you and harm the working relationship you have.

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    No mom knows I'm the 2 nd childminder lol, but am I right in thinking it's not my job as such? Xxx

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    I support parents and child with potty training but the initial work needs to be done by parent ( although if child announces at my house they don't want to have a nappy on and wants to use the potty then I will happily give it a go and let parents know! .. Had one who did that and was then dry day and night from then on! )

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    Yes I'm happy to support as I have been doing but really I'm not the parent some jobs surely are parents jobs I don't paid enough to have x amount of mindee's poop an wee every where lol I just don't how to say it to her xx

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    I am lucky in that all of my mindees are part time, I generally say to the parents for them to stay home for the first 4 days and see how it goes, that I will have child back on the 5th day and will stay home and then carry on.

    Had one mum stay home last Thursday, Frid, Sat & Sunday, (her days off anyway), child came back Monday, we stayed in had a few accidents but it's to be expected in someone else house, also at home he was naked but I insist child wears pants, also more distractions here playing with friends. Tuesday we went to toddlers, no accidents, I had yesterday off so have little one here instead - he is now taking himself to sit on potty without prompting.

    When I have minded children full time, they have generally been teachers/lecturers children so they have done the potty training in the holidays - not sure what I would do if I had child full time, all year round as would be hard to expect parents to use a weeks holiday for potty training.

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    Mine is teacher , yea I'm happy to carry it on but if say there starting it on Monday they would be here on Tuesday so it wouldn't work xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by stacieepg View Post
    Mine is teacher , yea I'm happy to carry it on but if say there starting it on Monday they would be here on Tuesday so it wouldn't work xx
    I would say they should start on Saturday, Sunday & Monday, then Tuesday with you - does child still come in the holidays, if not why can't the mum start potty training then? It's all very well them wanting the child potty trained but they have to think about whether they are going on any long journeys or to a wedding etc and do they want to be stopping in every layby to sit child on potty - they need to understand that you can't stop and start and put them back in pull ups when it suits them!

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    Parent is off in holidays but l still have lo, I'm not happy to even have by the forth day as I know lo won't do it for mom cause as I said I take lo for haircut as won't go for mom, but it just feel like it to much to do the potty training when I have to d things that I know most childminders wouldn't do :-/ I feel so stressed as I know me saying I'm not going to help doing initial days of potty training won't go very well but I have other mindee's I'm doing my level 3 I've got 3 girls of mine, new starters childminding paperwork and the job lol I just can't do that aswell xxxx

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    I had a similar situation, they started on the Friday and were due at mine on the Monday.
    I also have other children in my care too. So I said really the child needs to be home for a week, to have 1 on 1 care, then I can carry on and get update before next Monday. My feelings are, no it's not your job at so early on. Plus it's my house and do not want wee/poo on my carpet :-) good luck and stand your ground!

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    I have printed off a couple of potty training certificates and tracking sheets for parents to take home and use when they start potty/toilet training their little ones and have ones for here to encourage and support them through it as it covers their pd, psed and my working in partnership with parents.

    As far as I know that is as much as we have to do in our role as childminders, I certainly wouldn't be taking anyone for haircuts etc, I think this parent is treating your kindness and goodwill as a weakness and really think you need to err on caution here with her as you may find she starts putting a lot more on you as time goes on.

    Of course we are here to give a home from home environment that's why parents choose us but there are limits to the role. As others have said speak to the parent and explain that it is not fair on her child to be potty trained and taken outdoors ( which you do a lot of in your daily routines under EYFS) or to other places whilst this is ongoing and as you have other mindees you cannot commit to this child at the minute as it would mean you are having to neglect the other lo's and that becomes a safeguarding issue which your sure she should understand as you wouldn't want to ignore her child whilst you had to give all your attention to another lo in your care that may need training further down the line.

    Giving her the idea of potty/toilet training certificates shows you have worked with her and is a good way of showing her how to work with her own child to develop a bond and relationship which I'm sure the child would love to have with their mum. Jeez some parents just do not want the responsibility at all.

    Good Luck

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    Thank you everyone wish me luck :-)

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    Start as you mean to go on. Seriously as harsh as it sounds, give parents and inch and they will take a mile. I would not be taking a child for their haircut firstly!!
    With regards to potty training I have a toilet training policy which states that it is the parents responsibility to start the child off at home and when they are confident that the child can indicate that they need to go and are capable of holding it for a short while whilst they get to the toilet then I will accept that child in pants here. I will support the child but I cannot sit a child on a potty / toilet every 20mins I do not have the time nor can I spend my day cleaning carpets / floors because a child is weeing or worse all over the place. If this were to happen I will put the child back in a nappy over the top of their pants and inform parent that at least at my setting they are not ready. This would include a timeline to show the parents.

    Good luck and stand your ground.

    xxx

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    Quote Originally Posted by stacieepg View Post
    Mine is teacher , yea I'm happy to carry it on but if say there starting it on Monday they would be here on Tuesday so it wouldn't work xx
    so what she is saying is she will have a go on Monday and you carry on on Tuesday I might just have a little word in her shell like and suggest to build confidence with lo during the transition she does it a step at a time at home where lo is comfortable and has one to one supervision. I don't consider it my job to toilet train children, I will take them to the toilet, I will support them but I ask for protection to be worn until they are competent and confident. Not much to ask surely.

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    If a Nursery had a child 5 days a week, all year round they wouldn't expect the parents to take a week off work to do potty training - I think there does have to be some give and take, I advertise myself as a "home from home" setting and expect to have children being potty trained to have accidents on my carpet.

    The only stipulation I have is that potty training is carried out when I & the parents feel that the child is ready for the next steps towards independence, not because the parent is fed up of paying out for nappies or because a grandparent is giving them earache about what they did in their day! It does have to be a joint decision as sometimes I don't mind staying home and missing toddlers but if I had planned a trip out then I wouldn't want to be potty training.

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    If a child is completely ready they will "get it" within a couple of days. Of the children (including my own) who have started when they were truly ready they have had almost no accidents, seriously, maybe 1 or 2 that's all. The ones that tried before their child was ready have had to give up and try again at a later date at which time the child has been ready so once again virtually no accidents. Parents for whatever reason are very often in too much of a hurry to get their child out of nappies.

    xxxxx

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    I've got a LO who mum says is using the potty at home ... Not a hope here and nappies or pull ups are soaked! But at pick up mum says LO the same at home! Each week we discuss it and mum says she will leave it and try again in a few weeks ... yet the next week (LO does 1 day week with me) its the same story! First 2 weeks I stayed in ... now on week 5! Saw mum today at children's centre ... Again I said ...Not ready ... everyone else said the same ... Mum said ok. I then said ..By the way I'm doing xyz next week so unless more or less there I will not even be trying and mum got a bit stroppy ... yet she is the one who has been too busy the other 6 days of the week! Never mind! Everyone else agreed with me!

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    Quote Originally Posted by hectors house View Post
    If a Nursery had a child 5 days a week, all year round they wouldn't expect the parents to take a week off work to do potty training - I think there does have to be some give and take, I advertise myself as a "home from home" setting and expect to have children being potty trained to have accidents on my carpet. The only stipulation I have is that potty training is carried out when I & the parents feel that the child is ready for the next steps towards independence, not because the parent is fed up of paying out for nappies or because a grandparent is giving them earache about what they did in their day! It does have to be a joint decision as sometimes I don't mind staying home and missing toddlers but if I had planned a trip out then I wouldn't want to be potty training.
    people who use nursery childminders have time off to spend doing this sort of thing it's not hygienic to be havering ex amount I've potty training going on from all different people , and also to potty train a mindee's they have to have your undived attention you can't do that if you have other mindee's

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  23. #19
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    We'll as I've said it's our job to support but we aren't the parents , but I've hinted lo shouldn't be out the house for at least a week , mom is now not going to potty train mmmmmmmmm! Interesting

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    Quote Originally Posted by AliceK View Post
    Start as you mean to go on. Seriously as harsh as it sounds, give parents and inch and they will take a mile. I would not be taking a child for their haircut firstly!! With regards to potty training I have a toilet training policy which states that it is the parents responsibility to start the child off at home and when they are confident that the child can indicate that they need to go and are capable of holding it for a short while whilst they get to the toilet then I will accept that child in pants here. I will support the child but I cannot sit a child on a potty / toilet every 20mins I do not have the time nor can I spend my day cleaning carpets / floors because a child is weeing or worse all over the place. If this were to happen I will put the child back in a nappy over the top of their pants and inform parent that at least at my setting they are not ready. This would include a timeline to show the parents. Good luck and stand your ground. xxx
    thanks I feel really worn down by a lot of stuff that I'm asked to do which I would never ask anyone to do xxx

 

 
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