Hi,

This is a bit long i'm afraid!

I finished caring for a child about 4 weeks ago, I looked after him 5 days a week for two hours after school, since September. The parents and I got on fine and I let the child go due to getting a variation to care for another child that was for all day, 5 days a week.

Last Saturday I recieved a text message from the child's mother saying that the childcare voucher company that she had used to pay me with had paid £436 and another £200 into my joint account but accident instead of paying her new childminder. She told me the money would be in my account by Wednesday.She asked me via this message to give her the money in cash or cheque.

I replied to this message saying not to worry about it and that as soon as the money entered my account i would give the childcare company a call and ask them to take the money from my account and put it back into theirs. I know that it is illegal for me to refund the money to the parents myself as the money is tax free.

The next day (Monday) when I was Childminding her husband knocked on my door and handed me an envelope telling that I had to immediately write a cheque to the childcare voucher company and send it off. I told him the same thing, that as soon as the money enetred my account I would contact the company and of course send off the cheque. To which he said "you already have the money, you recieved it last Thursday". I assured him that I did not yet have the money in my account and that even his wife had told me it would not be in my account until Wednesay. He didn't believe me.

After I had finished work when my husband came home I was deeply upset. The parent was making me out to be a lier. The parents live a few doors down and my husband went to see them to confirm that I was not with holding their money.

The next morning (Tuesday) I had to take my minded children to the school bus stop. The mother of the child was down their. Her child who I had cared for waved at me and she told him to stop. Then when all the children had got on the bus she was stood right in front of me with her new childminder. She obviously didn't realise that I was stood so close and started telling this childminder that i was with holding their money etc. I was mad.

I went up to her and said that she should be discussing her issues with me. In front of her new childminder she said that i had sent my husband down to their house to get aggressive, which was simply not the case. She told me that i should remember that I used to work for her and that she would ruin my reputation as a childminder. I walked away and ended up in tears at the bus stop.

Later that day I called the childcare voucher company and disussed the situation with them. They told me that it was only £436 pounds not and extra £200 pound on top and that it would be put into my account the next day (Wednesday). I asked for them to contact both the parents and the childs new childminder and tell them that I had not even recieved the money yet, therfore I was not with holding it. They agreed.

It was now Thursday. An Ofsted Inspector showed up at my door just after lunch. I had two minded children with me and my daughter at the time. My husband was also at home for lunch.

Obviously I was in shock, but she didn't have to tell me why she had come. I burst into tears, infact I didn't stop. She went through the concerns that an annomous person! had made. The claims where disgusting. Everything from swearing in front of my minded children to not having any suitable toys for them to choose from. The Inspector was lovely. She really reasurred me and said that i shouldn't be so upset as she could she that the children were happy and well cared for and that come of the questions she didn't even need to ask she could just see for herself that all was fine in my home.

Some of the accusations were even about my husband and quite simply horrid.

She didn't stay long and she said that I had nothing to worry about and that she deals with issues like this everyday.

Of cousrse she didn't tell me who had made the complaints, but she seemed to know a lot about the whole situation. I get on very well with all of the parents that are currently in my care and I would call them all friends so I know it wasn't any of them.

I asked the inspector if they could keep making complaints against me after they find out the outcome of her visit and that Ofsted where happy with my care. She said that some people simply do not like it and will keep making up false claims and make them worse and worse, but unfortunately they have to investigate each claim.

I am of course deeply upset about this whole matter. I consider myself to be good childminder I was given an 'oustanding' grade in 2007 and I love all the children in my care but I don't think I could go through this again.

Anyway I was hoping to get some advise from you. I am planning on going to my solicitor about this matter to basically inform these people that If they continue to make false claims about me I will take the matter futher. My husband did ask the inspector about this but she couldn't advise us.

I just feel that I cannot let these people try and destroy my buisness and my reputation especially when this is all lies.

Thanks

Loz x

You poor thing Loz, how horrid. I don't have any advice but hugs X

First of all I am sorry that you have had to go through this. Some people can be so nasty of they dont get their own way, cannot believe that she told lies and got Ofted onto you, that is just awful.

Are you a member of the NCMA? I am and contacted their legal department when I had a dispute with an ex mindee's mother. They were really helpful and put my mind at ease over the situation.

I definately think that you need to send her a letter of some sort and from a Solicitor would be even better to show that you will not put up with her trying to destroy your reputation as a good childminder.

This woman seriously needs putting in her place, but go about it legally. If you see her in the street, do not even give her the time of day or look at her. Dont give her any ammunition against you.

I hope that you work it all out, keep your chin up.

Chelle xx

I know that this is upsetting but I think she has done the worst and not got away with it. You record will only reflect any complaints substantiated and you don't have anything to worry about.

Personally, I would now drag my heels and keep the money for as long as I could to make life hard for them.

I wouldn't go to the solicitor as it will give them more satsifaction.

The cheek of some people. They really make my blood boil.:angry:

I am sorry that I dont have any advice but I feel for you and send big hugs.

I am sure you receive some great advice from others and hope that all works out right in the end
xxx

You are obviously a kind, caring person Loz. Keep your chin held up high and get on with what you do best- looking after children!! Take no notice of this dreadful woman.:angry: Sending you big hugs too.:thumbsup:

I know that this is upsetting but I think she has done the worst and not got away with it. You record will only reflect any complaints substantiated and you don't have anything to worry about.

Personally, I would now drag my heels and keep the money for as long as I could to make life hard for them.

I wouldn't go to the solicitor as it will give them more satsifaction.


I think doing this, although very tempting, would be very very stupid. You must repay the money as quickly as you can. Keep a copy of the cheque and write a simple letter stating you are returning the money via cheque no ..... that was mistakenly paid into your account by.... on........ and that you have been very surprised that xcomp? could have made such a stupid mistake putting everyone to such inconveinience. Do you have an email of the confirmation that the voucher company is paying into your account? if so enclose a copy of this so they will see you have not lied.

I would post the letter and cheque by recorded delivery. Even though it might be tempting to post it through their door.

You need and must keep a record of what you have done and when.
above all you must not sink to their level, rise above it with pride. Don't worry about your reputation. You can be quite sure that this family have a reputation of their own!!!! Who would you believe?

Also make sure you have recored the complaint and include Ofsteds comments and visits and if its not upheld as it sounds as if it won't you will be fine. Remember all your other very happy parents.

Oh yes the other thing I might do in a couple of weeks is a parents questionaire. This will demonstrate your ongoing Outstanding Practice.

Happy days! the things we sometimes go through!! they enrich our lives and our experience!:thumbsup:
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Poor you, but at least you know who has done this to you and why.

I would get onto the legal team at the NCMA. I as well now dally around sending the money back as long as possible.

I think i would warn the new minder to what the family are like, she better hope she does not fall out with them.:panic:

Poor you, but at least you know who has done this to you and why.

I would get onto the legal team at the NCMA. I as well now dally around sending the money back as long as possible.

I think i would warn the new minder to what the family are like, she better hope she does not fall out with them.:panic:



Very dodgy with confidentiaity.

What a horrible situation for you to be in but hopefully the worst is over now, the complaints have been investigated and Ofsted have found them all to be unsubstantiated.

Whatever lead these parents to make those allegations against you it hasn't got them anywhere. I know it's hard not to be upset that people would stoop so low but seriously don't give them the satisfaction of knowing/seeing how much it's hurt you.

Sending hugs

Miffy xx

It amazes me how horrible people can be sometimes. I am so sorry they are doing this to you.

I would pay the money back as soon as it's in your account so they can't say you held on to it or were being awkward to be honest.

Ring the legal helpline if you are a member of NCMA, I hope they can help you. If you have a development officer (not everyone does) give them a ring too and see what they say.

Let us know what happens, I hope that this is the end of it though.

Keep your head up, you know you've done absolutely nothing wrong.

x

Ooo Loz how awful. :( Sorry I'm new to all this and can't offer any advice. I hope the whole situation gets wrapped up quickly and you'll be rid of these horrible parents. Keep your chin up! :)

How awful for you!

Hope they dont continue to give you grief.

*hugs*

Just sending you hugs hun...xxx

Hi its horrible isnt it when parent that you take as friends,treat u like this.They are nice as anything to you untill you do something they dont like.These parents dont respect us for what we do.They just take it for granted that we will do whatever they want.
I myself had a bad encounter with a parent.I gave them all a months notice that i was increasing my fees but one parent didnt agree.She came and gave me notice but said she woudnt be sending the child again.She didnt pay me the in liue of notice money at all but i then contacted her to say that in the contract it said that she needed to pay me the notice money.She then text me acusing me of bein the cause of all her stress she suffered from.Then reported me to offsted for being mentally unstable and that i was apparently self harming.Ofsted came to see me.The complaint was found to be unfounded.I had a letter of offsted 2weeks later to say that they had found no truth in the acusiation and that no action was to be taken.This parent also approached me in the street and at the school,when i had my minded children with me.She was shouting and yelling at me.All this upset me badly,i cried so much i almost gave up minding.But i am not going to let her win.You will be ok i promise you. Just go about your day and ignore her,dont give her the satisfaction that it gets to you(even though i know it will).Its a horrble feeling and i feel for you.But we are better people than that and we work hard.Just pay her the money back,i would post it recorded delivery so you have your proof.The parents you have at the moment all think your the best,so go on hold your head high and treat her with the contempt she deserves.Hope you are ok.Thinking of you. heather:littleangel:

I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. I have no advice to give really, but just wanted to give you a hug and tell you that things will be ok, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Keep your head held high and remember she is the lier

Surely this woman would have had to authorise the payment to begin with so its her mistake really. Don't you only need to deal with the voucher company to sort out the refund? After that the voucher company would then have to pay back the money to employer or parent because of the tax thing. Surely the parents asking you to give it to them is illegal? So if the parents continue to harrass you and slander you report them to the police.

don't know what to say, so sending you a big hug xxx

oh loz i am so sorry that you have had to go through this
i know first hand how destructive complaints can be

GO TO THE SOLICITOR AND GET A LETTER WRITTEN, i wish i had been stronger and done this too it may have stopped the malicious gossip mongerers who made my complaints even worse for me.

i wouldn't have thought you would return the cheque to the family at all though wouldn't you deal direct with the voucher company after all they are the agents who paid you not the parents

good luck and pm me if you need any support through this

mandy xx

Poor you, but at least you know who has done this to you and why.

I would get onto the legal team at the NCMA. I as well now dally around sending the money back as long as possible.

I think i would warn the new minder to what the family are like, she better hope she does not fall out with them.:panic:

you are legally not allowed to warn a minder about this as the parent can report you for breach of confidentiality and with the new minder likely to back the parent up ofsted will act ( i was reported for this amongst others i.e. no car seats in car, no toys etc all rubbish as ofsted saw on a spot visit) this was because a child made disclosures regarding his mums abuse towards him and siblings etc she was trying to get out of paying and thought this would work

also if the voucher company have confirmed to you that the extra £200 is not going in can you get this in writing along with bank statements this will prove you are not withholding money do not pay her anything back as you have not got the mon ey in the first place this could possibly be mums excuse not to pay the new minder and damage your reputation to boot parents like this really annoy me its a hard enough job at times without this stress on top good luck and hold your head up your other mums know your brilliant and they will dispute any bad said about you

Sending hugs! I would definatly get to the solicitor and get them to send her a letter as she could ruin your reputation. Threten to sue for slander! She has put your family through hell, give her a taste of her own medicine. She shouldn't be able to get away with behaving like that ...she's no more than a bully!

I feel so sorry for you having to go through all that. I hope things sort themselves out very soon and you can get back to some kind of normality. I often wonder what makes parents like that, it's terrible :(

What a horrible situation and what a horrible woman to do this. If she spoke to the other childminder at the bus stop in front of you then I think the new minder should be getting a good inkling of who/how this woman is.

First thing tomorrow as already said - get in touch with NCMA legal line and explain it all to them. Ring the voucher company as well and get it all in writing from them (even if its by email). Any more conversations or dialogue with the parent - write it down and date it (if there are any witnesses get them to sign it as well).

Next get in touch with a solicitor - this woman is threatening to ruin your business and reputation - with slanderous information. Put this woman firmly back in her place.

What i don't understand though - is if the payment hasn't gone through - why can't the parent already stop it and redirect it? (sorry don't have any experience of voucher payments).

This is what you pay insurance for call NCMA or who ever you are insured with you need legal advise now

It makes me so mad that some parents treat childminder's like this, all the best


Allie

I had a voucher payment go through after parents had left so it does happen, sometimes it's in the system and too late to stop, and yes you deal entirely with the voucher company, don't send anything to the parents.

I would also be getting legal advice, this is slander and you can sue them for it if you wish to.

Don't let them get away with it!

Hugs to you in what must be an awful situation to be in xxxx

I am so sorry you are going through this, it must be so worrying for you. You know you have done everything correctly so be strong:group hug:

Hi

I am sorry you are going through this its horrible.

I just wanted you to know I have had two 'complaints/accusations' made against me so I know how you feel but I also wanted you to know that Ofsted investigated they were supportive and although it is recorded, the inspector worded it in such a way that was definitely in my favour.

First time I gave notice to parents, child kept biting my son (not what I do this job for) and the last straw came when the mindee had such a runny nappy, it was dripping down his legs, down my jeans and over the carpet. Mum said he'd had one like that earlier that day but she thought it was out of his system now and hadn't mentioned it. I gave notice she owed my some money, I never got it in fact she put in her complaint into ofsted on Xmas Eve! The inspector was great completely understood and worked it in such a way that it came across as unpleasant parent trying to get even!

Second time I was reported for being over numbers (it turned out by another childminder) Ofsted did visit found me within numbers. I had been accused of having 5 under 5's. Firstly I had a variation issued by ofsted for 4 under 5's and the '5th' came from collecting from nursery and standing with the 5th child and another parent whilst a third heavily pregnant went off to use the loo! This happened twice in one week.

Ofsted apologised for not checking properly if they had they would have they had issued a variation but they also made it clear that childcare in my setting was sort after and that I had not done anything wrong.

I knew it was a jealous childminder (who has since given up) as rumours spread quickly and she was the source and there was no other way that she could have known unless she made the call 'cos I told no one. In odd way the rumours were a good thing because I could put them right.

You know you are right - they have lost a good childminder and you will come through it ofsted (did make a clerical error) but were very supportive you have nothing to worry about!:)

So sorry to hear of this horrid thing, how awful to have her living just down your street too.

Still hold your head up high and ignore her, you know you've done nothing wrong.

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Very dodgy with confidentiaity.

Agree with Ricky on that one. I'd avoid new minder like the plague.