who do I see about getting it activeated? it wont allow me to put one up yet? and who or how do I see about how many posts I have put up in the relivet bits to allow my posts to not need to go through the moderators?

You are on 4 posts now so your next one (not lounge, make sure it's an area that counts) should go through automatically...

You can find out about avatars etc here -

http://www.childmindinghelp.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=16727

Hth :D