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View Full Version : This is when I hate my job....



mum2two
22-02-2012, 04:25 PM
DS (6) has always had bowel problems since a baby. First time I mentioned to HV at about 3 weeks old, that he was going up to 10 days between a dirty nappy, and he was a bottle fed baby. She didn't seem overly concerned...

Roll forward 3 yrs, and I mention to Drs, and he's put on lactulose - so pooing himself 4 or 5 times a day.

Last Jan he'd gone 3 weeks between going, so I'd had enough, and went back to Docs, with stuff printed out, wanting answers. He was put on movicol & laclulose (laxatives). No real change, still pooing himself & because of this, being so 'bunged up' wetting himself. We moved house so moved docs. Finally got new doc to refer us to the paed. Saw her in Sept. She just changed lactulose to senakot. Saw after 3 months, no change, so upped senna dose. Saw again 2 weeks ago - and still no change, but they're reluctant to run tests on children....

Went over stuff I'd already told her, and she'd written in notes, to be told she thinks it's behavioural, and wanted to admit him to hospital for a week to observe, and try and establish a routine.

Found out last Weds, that he was going in Mon! But they could cancel at any time. Decided that as he wasn't ill, and there was a chance they could cancel, DH & I couldn't afford to take to the week off, as we both cm. We'd arranged a later start in the morning so I could stay up there.

Monday, went in at 10am, and finally saw a 'play specialist' at 4pm! She made a daily plan, and a sticker chart!!! Now why did I never think of that.... :rolleyes: I said sticker chart will work for a few days, but he'll soon get bored.

So started yesterday. He had his first ever dry night Mon (Why wouldn't he....), and was doing everything he should. Agreeing with nurses, sitting on toilet, really cooperating.... But the play person has said he gets a sticker for everything - and I mean everything.... Getting dressed, having a drink, sitting on the toilet, doing his homework etc... But as I'm can't be up there during the day I can't see the doctors. Had a couple a pre-school today, so went up there, and caught the end of them with Ethan. Paed said she was really pleased. He's had 2 dry nights, and doing really well etc etc. Eating well (Which he's not!) His chart is filled with loads of stuff they are offering him, but had she bothered to look at the next column, it all said, half, little or none. Only coco pops said 'all'... :rolleyes:

He's been put in a bed next to someone we know. She said the docs haven't a clue about the stickers. She was listening to them, and saying how well he'd been going to the toilet to get all those stickers. Paeds think they're all from toilets - not just for everything he does.

I haven't a problem with his homework, getting dressed etc, so not sure why they're giving stickers for everything. Bed wetting wasn't a problem - all docs have told me it's not classed as an issue until they're 7 anyway!

My problem is him pooing his pants, unless he's constantly prompted!!! before I left today he had been in his pants - but refused to let me look or clean him up! I thought 'Docs think they have all the answers and it's my fault' so went and told them so they could deal with it! 15 mins later, screaming & shouting in the corridor, and me a nurse and a dr later, she told me to leave it and just put him back in his bed. They'd deal with him later. Which I had to do as had to collect another from pre-school... :(

Spoke to my friend in the next bed after lunch, and he'd been crying, and refused to eat lunch, wanting to come home - and we've too many of everyone elses kids for me to go and cuddle my own son!!!! :angry: Like I said - this is when I hate my job!!!

Need to speak to Docs, but we have 7 tomorrow, and 6 on Friday - so really don't see how I can. He's coming home on Sat, when they'll prob claim 'victory'.

It's all very different in there though. Try throwing a strict routine into a busy daily life... Plus - they can't even stick to it anyway! Plan says no more drinks after 6pm, yet we're getting up there at 6.30-7, and he's not had his medication, which one of them is a powder in a drink! Sitting on the toilet half hr after eating. That's not happened once that me or my mum have seen! Also, his daily plan has 11-12 playing the wii as a reward if he gets his stickers. I left at about 11.20am this morning, and that hadn't happened! :mad: If they can't even stick to it - how on earth do they expect us and the school too...???

Sorry to rant - but hubby just says 'Just bring him home if he's unhappy - it's a waste of time anyway!' But I need to stick it out to continue to get the help after... Hope docs are there Sat, when we can be there, and before he comes home so I can have hubby as backup to say what we think....

I know parents (2 in particular - poss 3) that would just tell us how difficult it is for them if we couldn't have their children tomorrow or Friday! They have no idea how difficult this is for me though - just trying to please them and their children, and 'ignoring' my own!!!!! Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh..................:angry:

Right - finished!!! :D

miss mopple
22-02-2012, 04:32 PM
you know what I'm going to say don't you mate? Put yourself and E first, take the day off and be there for him. The job comes second. Can any other minders cover for you?

I'd help if I could but I'm full to bursting tomorrow x

rosebud
22-02-2012, 04:35 PM
Oh bless you. I really feel for you and hope you start to get the help you need for him.

AgentTink
22-02-2012, 04:40 PM
At the end of the day your son is in hospital and needs your support. You need to tell them that you have to spend the day on Friday at the hospital so cannot look after their children. It is no different to ringing them on any particular morning and advising that you have to shut because of illness etc. They would just have to make other plans. At least this way they are getting a full days notice.

Please go to the hospital, as you will feel awful about not being with your son.

mum2two
22-02-2012, 04:51 PM
I know.... :blush: I'm just such a wimp and hate letting parents down, but I'm sat here almost in tears because I'm letting my own son down!!!

If I worked in an office - I wouldn't have thought twice about taking the whole week off!

x

FussyElmo
22-02-2012, 05:37 PM
Sorry to be harsh here but stop putting other people before your family. You need to be there to question and argue your sons case because no one else will.

Now pick up the phone cancel all parents for the next two days - you will feel better for it and a weight will lift from you

jane5
22-02-2012, 05:54 PM
Cant you take the mindees to the hospital with you?

I know its not ideal but find out what time the docs rounds are and at least it is a childrens ward so there is a playroom and toys ect....

Give the parents the option of keeping lo at home or you taking them to hospital with you.

I know how frustrating it is with the hospital, my dd has food allergies and when we receive the copy of the letter that is sent to the gp outlining any action taken during her 3 monthly visit, I sit there thinking they have sent me another childs letter because half of the information is wrong :rolleyes:

Hope things get sorted for your ds xx

mum2two
22-02-2012, 08:21 PM
:D:D

Thank you all!! I know what I needed to do - and it's done! All canx for the next 2 days! Spoke to one parent who has been through similar with her eldest, so she has given lotsw of good advice, and told me to ask for a referral to southampton, given me names etc.

Been to see him - and he's not eaten his tea either! But they gave him spag bol, which if they'd looked on his list they'd have seen he wouldn't like it! :rolleyes: So need to be there to sort his menu too and try and get him eating!

Hubby visiting now, before I get the night stint! Hoping hubby can get him to sleep before he leaves, and then I can stay here, have a glass of wine, and a proper sleep in my own bed & just get up there before he wakes up! Can't see that happening though - he's not been going to sleep until 9.30-10pm...

Just wish me luck for not getting fobbed off by the patronising doctors tomorrow! ;)

miss mopple
23-02-2012, 01:48 PM
well done- am very proud of you as I know it wasn't easy. Hope E is enjoying having some one to one time with you both and the docs don't fob you off x