PARANOID MUM - THATS ME!

[mummyme]

This I am sure is a pretty stupid post but this is really on my mind.

A year ago when my ds was at pre-school they arranged a trip to an aquarium. I put my name down to go along to help, the names were put into a hat as they had so many parents wanting to help, and my name wasnt pulled out so ........ I didn't let him go! :blush: I just thought that at age 3 he was too young to be away from me like that.

He is now in his first year at school age 4 (5 at the end of Feb) and my worse nightmare has happened.......a note home from school about a school trip!!! :eek:

They are going on a coach to a museum :eek: about 20 miles from where we live. I sooooo dont want him to go!!!! :panic: :panic:

However.......I paid his money the next day (worried that if I didn't pay straight away, I woundn't do it), and have NOT offered to go along to help as I think it would be good for him (he wont even go upstairs to the toilet on his own) and for me - paranoid mum!

I'd be interested to hear any thoughts on this, words of comfort - or not. Is he too young for this. He's a much loved child who is here against lots of odds, and my only child which is why i am being soooo pathetic :blush: :rolleyes:

Thanks for listening :thumbsup:

[alwaysright]

i dont think you're being pathetic at all, as you say he much loved, much longed for so you feel worried handing his care over to someone else! i also worry when my daughter goes on school trips or even to her friends and shes ten but does have some health issues which makes me worse, we have just had the dreaded letter for a week away at school camp......but i have also been a helper at a school trip and i never let the children in my group move out of my sight for one second, the other parents were the same, do you know any of the parents who are going?? maybe if you give them your mobile and ask that they txt you at lunchtime?? i've done that as well :blush:

[The Juggler]

oh hon. he will be fine, you know that. but it is hard isn't it :(

[mummyme]

Thanks for the reply. I've thought of seeing what other parents are going and getting them to text me. not sure what parents are going yet. trips not until mid Jan - but I do like to worry about something! :laughing:

[Velleity]

I would not have let my son go anywhere either at age three, unless I could have gone too. Last year, when my son was four they went on the London Underground into central London and I was sick with worry. I felt so ill all day. I had a cry too. Just couldn't imagine them possibly managing to keep him safe. He was of course fine and had a wonderful time. A few weeks later they went somewhere else on a coach and I felt better about that for some reason. I think my main fear was him falling down one of the escalators. It's stressful. We all want to be there to protect our children.

[mummyme]

Thanks for the reply. I've thought of seeing what other parents are going and getting them to text me. not sure what parents are going yet. trips not until mid Jan - but I do like to worry about something! :laughing:

[Jiorjiina]

I think you've been handling it really well so far, and I'm sure he'll be fine. Such a big adventure for such a little guy!

[VeggieSausage]

While he is at school he is doing all sorts of things without you, he is learning to be independant alongside all the other little people. He will have a great time and be in the care of the school and be with all his friends, be happy for him rather than try and hold him back :) even if you are finding it difficult x

[Roseolivia]

He will be fine.

My dd is going to the cinema next week with the whole of the school and i think it will be good for her. We've never been to the cinema yet with her so it's her 1st time and she's nervous but we explained what it's like.

[boxtree7]

Just think of the excitement in his words when he tells you all about his day.

[singingcactus]

You're not silly. He's your little precious. I panic every time any of mine go away. Even my big ones still. They are 15 now. My little guy didn't go on a school trip last school year, cos I felt that ratios for the seaside were not adequate, and it was an hours coach trip up the motorway. (we took him ourselves the weekend before so he didn't miss out). He didn't go on one this week cos it was to a panto and he is terrified of them, and I didn't feel that other adults understand that my very very tall 6 year has a genuine terror of this type of thing. People feel cos he is the size of a 9-10 year old that he should be tougher - they forget he only turned 6 last week.
They are my kids and if I am uncomfortable with any aspect of out of school grounds activities then I will keep them home with me. They do go on trips that are appropriate and useful, but it is hard.

[Playmate]

I can understand your worry, but thought it maybe interesting to look at it from the otherside. As childminders we are constantly taking other peoples childrens on outings. We risk assess and probably go ott on safety issues when we are out and about. how would you feel if a parent doubts your ability to keep their child safe? I went on a couple of school trips when mine were younger (and that was before health and safety overload!) and they were all well organised :D I admit I am a more relaxed mum than others about allowing independence, doesn't mean I care any less. Life is about learning through experience and the sooner they are allowed to do these activities the sooner they gain confidence and independence. My children are all in their teens now and I'm shocked at how many of their friends are not allowed to be independent and I'm sure one day this is going to be a disadvantage to them.

Allow him to go and think what a great experience he is going to have :D

[The Juggler]

I can understand your worry, but thought it maybe interesting to look at it from the otherside. As childminders we are constantly taking other peoples childrens on outings. We risk assess and probably go ott on safety issues when we are out and about. how would you feel if a parent doubts your ability to keep their child safe? I went on a couple of school trips when mine were younger (and that was before health and safety overload!) and they were all well organised :D I admit I am a more relaxed mum than others about allowing independence, doesn't mean I care any less. Life is about learning through experience and the sooner they are allowed to do these activities the sooner they gain confidence and independence. My children are all in their teens now and I'm shocked at how many of their friends are not allowed to be independent and I'm sure one day this is going to be a disadvantage to them.

Allow him to go and think what a great experience he is going to have :D

I totally agree with this. I know a CM who wouldn't dream of anyone else watching her own kids when they were under 10. I pointed out to her that everyday peopel were trusting her to look after their own children and how capable she is. We are on our own, and take them on buses, trains, by the road walking - on school trips there are many helpers and adults. He will have such a lot of fun :)