What does the word 'friend' mean to you?

[onceinabluemoon]

I dont really seem to be able to 'do' friends. I have plenty of people that I know, that I'll stop to have a chat with or smile and say hello on a morning school run, but nobody who is special to me.

All of my life I have thought of a friend as somebody (male or female) who I could tell anything to and they would keep it a secret and support me if necessary or rejoice with me if it was a good thing. A friend was somebody who would be there for you and you be there for them. A friend would be somebody you had over for BBQs, or days out, to laugh and giggle over a burger and a bottle of the cold stuff. A friend was somebody who would share the load of friendship not take all the time and give nothing back, somebody who would call me once in a while to ask me over to share in their activities and fun as well as me invite them (but they never come) to mine. A friend was somebody who didnt dump you as soon as they'd taken what they needed from you, or gossip behind your back or stab the knife in and turn it just a little more each day until you were a quivering wreck..

Am I just too rosy tinted perhaps? Do I expect too much?

What does a friend mean to you? Do they really exist or is it just something dreamed up in books like Enid Blyton

[PixiePetal]

Yes they do exist.

I have 2 or 3 real true friends who I would tell anything to and even if we don't see each other for a while, we know we can call on each other any time.When I had a bad work situation, these were the ones I could trust with telling everything, knowing it would go no further.

I have lots of other friends and quaintnesses - some very good ones but not the same as the other few.

sorry if you are up against some of the knife turning sort. Horrible, and I have come up against a few - who fell by the wayside over the years.

Actually I think I trust and like some of the forum 'friends' who I have never met more than some of the real life people I meet :o

[The Juggler]

they do hon, but few and far between and some I've not found until later in life.

At school was fine but lost touch with most of my school friends over one fall out and then we all moved all over country. However, I've been sucked in and dumped by 2 adult friends and it hurt like hell. I have a friend locally now and one I met at work in London over 20 years ago and they are the ones that know my life inside and out:thumbsup:

[onceinabluemoon]

Actually I think I trust and like some of the forum 'friends' who I have never met more than some of the real life people I meet :o

me too actually x

[Pipsqueak]

my BF.... turned out not to be after 25years. :(
she took took took and I gave gave gave and in the end she pooped on me from a great height and I called it a day. she still cannot understand what she done wrong


I don't seem to 'do' friends either. I have learned over the years true friends are few and far between. people come and go out of your life. I have some friends now that I know I have turn to if needs be for support, but to be honest I don't have anyone I can totally confide in. My forum friends are probably the people I confide in the most, the friendship I have on here is second to none and I consider the friendships I have developed on here to be real friends.

[LOOPYLISA]

my BF.... turned out not to be after 25years. :(
she took took took and I gave gave gave and in the end she pooped on me from a great height and I called it a day. she still cannot understand what she done wrong


I don't seem to 'do' friends either. I have learned over the years true friends are few and far between. people come and go out of your life. I have some friends now that I know I have turn to if needs be for support, but to be honest I don't have anyone I can totally confide in. My forum friends are probably the people I confide in the most, the friendship I have on here is second to none and I consider the friendships I have developed on here to be real friends.

I agree totally here x

[Roseolivia]

I have a few friends that i would tell things to, my best friend that is always there no matter what. I have other friends who i'm friendly with but wouldn't tell much to as don't trust them to not spread gossip.

[Stew....pid]

A true friend to me means someone i never ask anything of but senses when i need something, expects nothing and is always overjoyed when im there to help and never refuses my help, someone who rings and i listen as he does when i ring him

I have 1 such person i can call a true friend, the rest are mates and people i know who come and go when they want something

[christine e]

I have one friend who are would trust with anything, she is always there for me, I have lots of other friends some who I trust more than others

Cx

[Stew....pid]

Friends are like knickers.... some crawl up your ****... Some snap under pressure..... Some don’t have the strength to hold you up... Some get a little sideways... Some are your favourite... Some are cheap and just plain nasty... And some actually cover your **** when you need them too :D

[PixiePetal]

my BF.... turned out not to be after 25years. :(
she took took took and I gave gave gave and in the end she pooped on me from a great height and I called it a day. she still cannot understand what she done wrong


I don't seem to 'do' friends either. I have learned over the years true friends are few and far between. people come and go out of your life. I have some friends now that I know I have turn to if needs be for support, but to be honest I don't have anyone I can totally confide in. My forum friends are probably the people I confide in the most, the friendship I have on here is second to none and I consider the friendships I have developed on here to be real friends.

This forum is a wonderful place - way more than just a work support system :)

[mumto3]

Ive only been here about a week and not even pre-reg in childminding yet but i can tell what a friendly and supportive forum this is, ive been on other forums that can be quite clicky and the 'most popular' members get replies to their posts because they are friends and alot of posts dont get any replies, its not at all like that here, there seems to be someone to answer, im only a lurker and reader at tho mo but im addicted and love it :D

[Susana0600]

I dont really seem to be able to 'do' friends. I have plenty of people that I know, that I'll stop to have a chat with or smile and say hello on a morning school run, but nobody who is special to me.

All of my life I have thought of a friend as somebody (male or female) who I could tell anything to and they would keep it a secret and support me if necessary or rejoice with me if it was a good thing. A friend was somebody who would be there for you and you be there for them. A friend would be somebody you had over for BBQs, or days out, to laugh and giggle over a burger and a bottle of the cold stuff. A friend was somebody who would share the load of friendship not take all the time and give nothing back, somebody who would call me once in a while to ask me over to share in their activities and fun as well as me invite them (but they never come) to mine. A friend was somebody who didnt dump you as soon as they'd taken what they needed from you, or gossip behind your back or stab the knife in and turn it just a little more each day until you were a quivering wreck..

Am I just too rosy tinted perhaps? Do I expect too much?

What does a friend mean to you? Do they really exist or is it just something dreamed up in books like Enid Blyton

A BF should be like that, but, I am in the same situation, I Know some people, some other good people, but I dont have a Good Friend, who knows maybe in a few years I will find somedody :(

And I am totally agree about the forum, it's supportive, if anyone post something will have an aswer, that's very good!! So everybody knows where to find somebody to help you at all times :)

[flowerpots]

Im getting married next year and its not until we started planning it that i realised i havent actually got many friends, i have 1 friend who i will tell anything to and KNOW she will always be there to support me and 2 other 'friends' who i am quite close with.:)

I dont really 'do' friends either to be honest. im very, very shy and even find it hard to open up on the forum even though the people on here are the lovliest (sp?) sounding people. :blush:

xxxx

[Mookins]

i had what i thought was a best friend through high school but looking back i was her doormat :( sheoften made melook a fool treated me like dirt used me when she needed me, thne other times she was fab and we had the best times

i have some fab people i cal great friends but have never had anyone i could trust completely with secrets or maybe i have but am just to guarded:(

xx

also agree about here so thanks everyone xxx

[karensmart4]

I have lots of 'friends'

I have 3 'good' friends :D

But no 'bestest mates/friends' :(

A friend to me, is someone that you might not see that often but when you do see them it's as if you've never been apart.

Perhaps I say i don't have 'best friends' because even though I would be, and have been there to support, to listen, to hand out the tissues..... I keep things to myself and I don't share in that respect :blush:

[loocyloo]

i have 2 old old friends, we met at school, fell out and met up again,

20 + yrs on, we're still friends, mainly texting/emailing saying how dreadful we are for not staying in touch, but when we do meet up, its as if we only met yesterday.

i have a couple of friends from college, one; its all on my side, and as i've now moved 260 miles away, i doubt i'll hear from her. sad, esp as i'm godmother to most of her children, and she is godmother to DS, but i can't do the running from so far away. my other friend we'll talk sometimes and its always great.

i have some very close friends where i used to live, a couple i am missing dreadfully, others i don't miss so much.

i've had friends who i thought were friends, but when i really needed them, vanished, and others, who were not much more than aquaintances, really came through for me when i needed someone.

i was sent this a couple of years ago, and it really stayed with me. it does mean i have found it easier to let some friendships go, and not chase after them.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

[ajs]

OIABM, I so get what you are saying, I have had a really close friend for the last 3 years, so close that I am Godmother to her youngest and there was nothing I wouldn't tell her. BUT
Since Xmas she has gone very funny (weird funny) she took her son out of the school we all collected from and now i never see her at all
she lives 9 miles away and she used to call in every day for breakfast with my Goddaughter and then her mindees when she registered ( i even sent her a mindee when she started up as the little one went to a school i could not collect from) but now she doesn't even text me let alone call in.
I realise now that having her son at the school I also collected from meant that i was always available to collect him if she couldn't, that my GD was looked after fro free by me when my numbers allowed etc etc etc, I was always her cash point if she forgot her card and very often she didn't pay me back but i never asked for the money so i didn't mind too much.
she didn't even come to my daughter's surprise 18th last weekend even though i had asked for her support and help weeks before.
I realise now she has replaced me with another minder in the new school as i see this other minder with my GD because my friend had too many for her car etc


I am keeping myself to my self not opening up like that again, i am so fed up of being used and dumped when it suits people.

I have made so many friends on this forum many of whom I now count as good friends not just virtual, I am not sure how I would get through some of the things I have had to go through without some of you

[The Juggler]

i have 2 old old friends, we met at school, fell out and met up again,

20 + yrs on, we're still friends, mainly texting/emailing saying how dreadful we are for not staying in touch, but when we do meet up, its as if we only met yesterday.

i have a couple of friends from college, one; its all on my side, and as i've now moved 260 miles away, i doubt i'll hear from her. sad, esp as i'm godmother to most of her children, and she is godmother to DS, but i can't do the running from so far away. my other friend we'll talk sometimes and its always great.

i have some very close friends where i used to live, a couple i am missing dreadfully, others i don't miss so much.

i've had friends who i thought were friends, but when i really needed them, vanished, and others, who were not much more than aquaintances, really came through for me when i needed someone.

i was sent this a couple of years ago, and it really stayed with me. it does mean i have found it easier to let some friendships go, and not chase after them.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

that is lovely loocyloo - and so true x

[FussyElmo]

A friend is someone who love you unconditionally no matter what you do. They will ALWAYS be there when you need them even if you go weeks/months without seeing them. A friend will always tell you the truth even if its not what you want to hear. A real friend will share both the good/bad times.

Im lucky I have several of these in my life and these few months have needed them more than ever.

A true friendship is never one sided :)

[The Juggler]

OIABM, I so get what you are saying, I have had a really close friend for the last 3 years, so close that I am Godmother to her youngest and there was nothing I wouldn't tell her. BUT
Since Xmas she has gone very funny (weird funny) she took her son out of the school we all collected from and now i never see her at all
she lives 9 miles away and she used to call in every day for breakfast with my Goddaughter and then her mindees when she registered ( i even sent her a mindee when she started up as the little one went to a school i could not collect from) but now she doesn't even text me let alone call in.
I realise now that having her son at the school I also collected from meant that i was always available to collect him if she couldn't, that my GD was looked after fro free by me when my numbers allowed etc etc etc, I was always her cash point if she forgot her card and very often she didn't pay me back but i never asked for the money so i didn't mind too much.
she didn't even come to my daughter's surprise 18th last weekend even though i had asked for her support and help weeks before.
I realise now she has replaced me with another minder in the new school as i see this other minder with my GD because my friend had too many for her car etc


I am keeping myself to my self not opening up like that again, i am so fed up of being used and dumped when it suits people.

I have made so many friends on this forum many of whom I now count as good friends not just virtual, I am not sure how I would get through some of the things I have had to go through without some of you

oh hon, that is awful. its so raw when it's just happened that I'm not even gonna ask how you are. I know I was there a 3 years ago and it hurts. You will feel better, and stronger, with time though xx

[Polly2]

do you ever think thats its 'me'?

I have had only 1 proper friend who turned nasty a couple of years ago. It really hurt and looking back I realise that she had been using me and mu family for a long long time.

Now I shy away from getting too close - I think you have to be a friend to have a friend and I am probably not a good friend, for fear of getting hurt.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

My dad always said to me "you will have many people pass through your life but true friends you can count on one hand"

A friend to me is someone I can turn to no matter what, they will listen and help me, even if they don't agree with me, and not judge

They are someone I can just knock on their door and be welcomed in, even if I haven't seen them for years

They are someone who can tell me the truth and I can do the same without causing offence

In short, my "true" friends are very few

[Chatterbox Childcare]

Friends are like knickers.... some crawl up your ****... Some snap under pressure..... Some don’t have the strength to hold you up... Some get a little sideways... Some are your favourite... Some are cheap and just plain nasty... And some actually cover your **** when you need them too :D

What a summary - as only a man could do

I haven't stopped laughing :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

[onceinabluemoon]

What a summary - as only a man could do

I haven't stopped laughing :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Have you not seen it on facebook? Its really been doing the rounds lately. Funny though, lol :laughing: :laughing:

[Blaze]

OIABM - I know what you mean I have 4 close "friends" - but am aware I do more for them then the other way round, so not that close...my closest friends - the people I depend on are on here (some I have met & others I haven't). Sending a hug xxx

[onceinabluemoon]

OIABM - I know what you mean I have 4 close "friends" - but am aware I do more for them then the other way round, so not that close...my closest friends - the people I depend on are on here (some I have met & others I haven't). Sending a hug xxx

Thanks for the hug hunny but I'm fine, I'm not upset or anything, nothing has happened (at least not recently, lol!). I was just thinking about friends today after reading something and wondering why I don't seem to be able 'do' them. Hence wondering if I was a little weird, lol! ;)

Hugs are always nice though, so I'm not complaining x

[Blaze]

I decided a long time ago that I don't really do friends & that I'm definatley weird!;) :D

[ajs]

I decided a long time ago that I don't really do friends & that I'm definatley weird!;) :D

you are not weird you are a truely generous and kind person. And I am proud to call you a friend

[ajs]

Thanks for the hug hunny but I'm fine, I'm not upset or anything, nothing has happened (at least not recently, lol!). I was just thinking about friends today after reading something and wondering why I don't seem to be able 'do' them. Hence wondering if I was a little weird, lol! ;)

Hugs are always nice though, so I'm not complaining x

I don't know you as well as i know Blaze ( personally) but I do know from chatting to you on here and fb that you are not weird either. You come across as a really lovely warm person and very loving mother. And i really hope that one day we can meet too

[ajs]

funnily enough the husband of the friend has just turned up with my GD and her brother they needed something doing and yet again they come to us to ask for it.

I am not complaining I had a lovely cuddle with my GD and a chat with her dad and have sent them on their way, my hubby is working very hard on his dissertation with only 9 days before it needs submitting and I am knee deep in paperwork so neither are availble to do it for them, I wonder what they will want next time they pop in.

[shell]

Hi

I understand what your saying AJS. I have just been dumped on by my so called best friend!! Been best friends with her for 3 years could tell each other everything. She was there for me when my mum was diagnoised with cancer always offering to help, but once my mum sadly passed away 5 months ago she backed off, it just felt like she didnt want what had happened to me to rub off on her! I spoke to her about it and she said she didnt know what to say, i told her she didnt have to say anything just be there to support me through this difficult time. Instead she decided to make new friends and just drop me like a hot potato!

I dont have any other friends im so alone.

Shell x

[miss mopple]

I have had best friends come and go over the years and just accept it as a part of life tbh. We all drift and it's not often that people drift in the same direction forever.

I have good friends now rather than 'best' ones, but tbh they are mostly through minding and we don't tend to socialise outside work. It suits me though as I like my family time and don't feel the need to socialise much outside of my family unit :D

The one person that I would say is my absolute best friend (other than DH) is one of my sisters. She knows me better than I know myself, and I know her the same way. We seem to be instinctively tuned into eachother even though we dont see eachother often. And the best bit is, we're related so she can't dump me :laughing:

[TheBTeam]

I have learnt the hard way that too good a friend is not a good thing.

I have one childminder friend that has supported me and been a good friend, but i am not her best friend, she is a popular lady with lots of friends, and i am one of them.

I have been used and had to give, give, give and i dont want that anymore so dont get that close really.

[Blaze]

I don't know you as well as i know Blaze ( personally) but I do know from chatting to you on here and fb that you are not weird either. You come across as a really lovely warm person and very loving mother. And i really hope that one day we can meet too

Well put!:thumbsup:

[Blaze]

you are not weird you are a truely generous and kind person. And I am proud to call you a friend

:blush: Aww shucks! I am blessed to have you as mine xxx

[amanda1309]

[QUOTE=FussyElmo;927445]A friend is someone who love you unconditionally no matter what you do. They will ALWAYS be there when you need them even if you go weeks/months without seeing them. A friend will always tell you the truth even if its not what you want to hear. A real friend will share both the good/bad times.

QUOTE]

I have 3 friends that I can tell anything and who I sometimes don't see for months but when we get together its like we have never been apart. I have had 2 of these friends for over 20 years since we were 11 years old and the other I met through Childminding.

I have quite a few friends and most of them wold be there if I needed them and I would definetely be there for them if they needed me

[emmadines]

mmmmm how would i define what a friend means to me?


well..... I for one do not do "best friends" whenever i consider a friend to be a best friend they tend to stab me in the back!

however I do have close friends and these close friends I consider as important to me as are my biological family (some close friends even treat me better then my own family!)

xx

[Mel_Johnson]

Reading these I realise That I to don't have many friends. I know lots of people ad have had lots of people I am close to. It's my own doing as I am not going at openning to peolpe. I can truely say that my Mum is now best friend I can tell her anything so I am very lucky.

[tinkerbelle]

i have 1 best friend and she's the one person who is constant and will always be there for through whatever happens and will love me unconditionally this person is my sister and despite being 5 years younger than me shes been my closest friend for 10 years
i would never trust anyone like i trust her as iv been took for a mug more often than not

[ORKSIE]

I have one Very good friend, who I consider a True friend, I know I can count on her for sound advise, and a good laff. ( we both enjoy a giggle)

She lives a long way away now, but I know I can call her and she will be there for me. And she knows Im here for her.
We tell each other about our kids acomplishments and our own.
I know I can tell her anything.:)



I consider you lot on the Forum my friends, I have had the pleasure to meet some of you, and hopefully I will be meeting some more of you soon :thumbsup:

Ok the Orks gettin mushy, not good :panic: :laughing: :laughing:

xx

[~Chelle~]

Wow, looking at all the replies, I no longer feel "Odd"!

I have friends but none that I would ever trust 100%, which sounds really harsh but it is true.

I am in a group of 4 friends and If I meet with them on a one on one basis, they start to talk about one of the other friends, and vice versa, so I know that they probably do the same with me! I hate all that "she said this and that".

We was close with our next door neighbours and they asked me to be godmother to their youngest, yet in the past 2 -3 years they have gone really weird with us and sometimes barely talk to us if we see them out the front.

I always seem to bend over backwards to help people out but when I had to take my son to hospital, I had to call the in-laws, who live over half an hour away to look after my other son as none of my "friends" were available.

I NEVER offer to look after their children now, unless they actually ask me. As it is always "I dont know how I am going to manage with my appointment with **** there, I dont know what to do" and then wait for me to offer instead of coming straight out and asking me.

Also, why is it that "friends" assume that because you are a childminder, you wont mind having one extra round to play??? I get this a lot and it really :censored: me off.

Turned into a bit of a moan but I understand where most of you are coming from. Sometimes you can be surrounded by people, but this world can be a very lonely place:(

[sonia ann]

mmmm you have got me thinking now.............................

I have a couple of friends from school and college who I see every couple of years or so and its like we have never been apart :)

I had a really close friend that I met at antenatal with our first pregnancies 26yrs ago, we saw each other weekly for nearly 17 yrs and we were godmothers to each others second child then tragedy struck and her daughter became seriously ill and died. In the last 6yrs i have seen her twice....................not due to lack of trying on my part...................she finds it too difficult to see me as it brings back too many memories.............I miss her :(

I have one best friend........................my next door neighbour of 23yrs...........she was here the day we moved in and we clicked straight away! We would do anything for each other :)

but other than that.............that's it