your weddings

[devoncm]

Those of you who are married, what if anything would you do differently? what couldnt you do without?
Im trying to get marc to agree a date, I would love to go Australia and get married, get to see his sister at same time BUT as we have 8 kids between us and i want close family there it wont be possible so that could be a honeymoon instead.
If you had a registry office ceremony were you happy with it? Did you need to have a big sit down meal?

[caz3007]

Our wedding was on a budget, but we had a registry office, I had a lovely dress and we had a sit down roast meal and then buffet and disco in the evening. We were lucky as lots of family chipped in, nephew is a DJ, SIL made the cake and family were happy to pay for their own sit down meal instead of pressies.

There are a few things I would have liked to have happened differently, but they were things that couldnt have been changed. My SIL was seriously ill in hospital and a do not resucitate on her files, she made a full recovery and was able to attend the ceremony and meal but was really stressful. She was going to take our DS 2.5 at the time home with her and obvviously that never happened, and we hadnt made any other arrangements for him, so he was stuck to my DH's hip all day and all evening. So all in all it was a stressful day and stressful lead up that neither of us really enjoyed. But we were married and thats what mattered along with the fact that Stuarts sister is ok. :D

I wish we had gone for a quieter day or had just gone to Gretna like I wanted to do :D But we had no idea things would have panned out like that.

[LOOPYLISA]

Me and hubs will marry abroad, on the beach is the plan :thumbsup:

Who wants to come can, and we will have a get together when we get home :D

[caz3007]

Me and hubs will marry abroad, on the beach is the plan :thumbsup:

Who wants to come can, and we will have a get together when we get home :D

Friends of mine did this and then had a reception a while after. She said it was great and they had two celebrations and she got to wear her dress twice

[Toothfairy]

DH & I married 20yrs ago on a budget.

I had a smoke damaged dress and hired bridesmaid dresses.

We couldn't afford a wedding car, so my Dads friend let us use his brand new BMW.

My mum and I did the buffet for the reception which was held in the local Scout hut.

My Uncle took our photos (which turned out awful, lots of grass and lots of heads cut off)

My other uncle did our video ( very blurred and my DD taped over it about 4yrs later).

My bridesmaids mum made our wedding cake, it was meant to be very pale peach. When I went to pick it up the night before it was orange, I cried my eyes out.

If I could do our wedding again, the one thng I would deffinatley want to have, is a proffessional photographer. So many family and friends that were in my photos are sadly no longer with us, including my Dad. But the photos are just terrible :(

[Pixie dust]

I have been married twice the first time I had the full works,(that was a waste) so when I got married the second time I didn't want to spend all that money again as it was the wedding that was important not all the other stuff. so we had a registry office followed by a lovely sit down meal for family and a couple of close friends. I gave my camera to a family member and thought between us all we would get some good photos , they were ok but not the same as a professional so I agree that if I could do it all again I would pay for a photographer. Everything else was fab flowers from local florist and had a cake made by someone local. Most of all it was the family and friends who shared our day that made it special.

[manjay]

My first wedding was the full monty! However looking back now I was very young and I think I was probably more in love with the big wedding than the man I married:rolleyes: . However we had a gorgeous dd so I won't complain.

However the second one was perfect. We didn't tell anyone. We just went on our normal summer holiday to Cornwall which is a really special place for us with my dd and our own dd who was 1 at the time. It happened in a registry office and it was perfect. We spent the 2 weeks in a tent which again was our perfect holiday but we did book a hotel suite for the wedding night. Unfortunately I did get food poisoning and ended up spending the night in hospital but that still doesn't diminish how special the day was for us. After the initial shock all our families understood that we had done what we wanted to do and not what everyone else thought we should do:D

Good luck in finding something perfect for you:thumbsup:

[onceinabluemoon]

If I could do it again - I wouldn't do it at all, lol :laughing: :laughing:

On a more serious note, we had everything on the cheap, I made all the food and cleaned the house (where we had the reception) the night before the wedding. I did all the work myself (invitations etc), no photographer and all the people who said they'd send us photos never did. My hubby to be had all of our budget money on his suit and new shoes etc and a boozy night with his mates. I wasn't allowed any mates so didn't need a hen night. I had a dress from a charity shop and looked dull and horrible and felt second best. It was a dreadful day. :(

So my advice would be to have things how you both want them, not how just one of you does. Have a very happy day, and live happily ever after. xxx

[caz3007]

Had a think about this and to sum things up, I think whats important is to have the day you both want and not to worry about how others would like it to be. So if you want it in Aus, then so be it.

[fionamal]

First wedding was the works but second time round as we had both been married before decided to go to Gretna Green in a stretch limo with our 2 kids and bestman and bestmaid. We then came back to a meal for close family only which my dad paid for and then a week later we had a party for all our family and friends.

At first my parents were a bit miffed but they soon understood that its what we both wanted, no fuss, no arguments about who was coming and the compromise was that dad got to have a party for us. Wouldnt change a thing about it

[charleyfarley]

As oiabm said it needs to be where you both want it to be, it's both your special day after all. :thumbsup:

I never wanted the big white church wedding, it just wasn't for me and as hubby had been married before he wasn't bothered about it either.

We got married in The Dominican Republic and had the most wonderful time, my son was our bestman, my Dad walked me down the isle, well from the room to the pagoda where we got married. There were 14 of us that went and we all had a fantastic time. We had flowers decorating the pagoda, photos on the beach, a wonderful cake and a reception meal where again they decorated the table and chairs with flowers :clapping:

We then had a party when we got back for all the people that couldn't make it.

The only thing I would probably change is I would like to have been slimmer but that was my fault :blush:

Remember it is your day and it will be special wherever you decide to do it:thumbsup:

Carol xx

[PixiePetal]

It's our 18th anniversary tomorrow :)

we married on a budget - not a tiny one but we refused to go into debt over the wedding when we planned to have a baby straight away

I spent most on my dress and photographs. My dad paid for the food for the reception and evening do. Pay bar after the first bottles on the tables.

I saved by using friends to do things they could help with - florist friend, cake maker friend, dressmakers for 4 bridesmaids dresses and my brother drove us in his new car :thumbsup:

work out what means most to you - I knew the right dress was important for me and photos which would last forever - unlike the flowers:)

We had the local village church and Racecourse Grandstand for the reception as I had been a nanny to a family who live overlooking the course and used their house to dress in:thumbsup:

A fab day and very relaxed - DD came along 13 months later and no debts to pay off:thumbsup:

[The Juggler]

we got married in Vegas and didn't tell anyone. It was wedding and honeymoon rolled into one. If I did it again, I'd liked to have had a few family there but I know that it would pose problems (people can't afford to come/seating plans etc) all the reasons we escaped on our own in the first place. We had a pub party night when we came back but I didn't wear my dress again and it was fab.

i had a really simple dress, we got photos taken and a video - but the video hasn't copied well onto DVD - so wish it'd been a better quality one.

I would have been just as happy with a beach wedding and whilst I love the idea of the full monty wedding I couldn't hand on heart spend that kind of money on one day when I could pay that off my mortgage:panic:

[Winnie]

I married 35 years ago, i saved £200 to pay for it myself, i bought my dress, veil, bridesmaids dresses, flowers, cake -most expensive item- shoes, presents for the bridesmaids, photographer. My dh parents did a buffet reception in the local church hall- it was so hot (June 1976 if you remember was one of the hottest summers on record) the jelly wouldn’t set :laughing: ....we used an Uncles car and we had a chimney sweep (another Uncle) to bring us luck :)
The one thing I would change given the chance…my dh suit….it wasn’t what I would have chosen;)
Have what you want, but remember its not what you do or spend on the day that matters, its what you do for the rest of your life together that counts.

[WibbleWobble]

my first wedding was 20 years ago and cost us £500. It was a registry office do with an outside meal in the local pubs beer garden. My parents and i did all the catering. I wore a laura ashley dress and so did the two bridesmaids. we had no honeymoon...we went to chester zoo for the day with DD1 who was 3. We were both student nurses then so we were very poor.

17 years later i am marrying husband number 2.

we thought about getting married in italy (phil has relatives there) but it was costly and we have lots of family who wouldve found it too expensive.

We decided on a date august 2008 as it was the same day as my 40th...two birds with one stone!
looked at lots of places to get married. Liked the idea of a city wedding as all the recent weddings we had been to were country house events. Settled on manchester town hall...i was born in mcr and lots of family still there.

Best day of my life....proper dress (pronovias) and three bridesmaids and three flower girls. two best men.....phil couldnt choose/trust one of them to do the job on his own.

we had a sit down meal and a disco after.

wouldnt do without - the master of ceremonies. he was the linchpin of the whole occasion. He sorted out any problems without me having to be involved. was a complete love.

thing i couldve done without - nothing. everything was perfect. even the groom!

cost us a fortune (a years pay for most) and we are still paying for it.

BUT it was worth it...we had all our family together and probably for the last time as some are old. it was a real family party.....my cousins still talk about it being the best wedding they have ever been to!


mandy xxx

[bexter]

Six weeks to mine and the budget has increased by about £4k from what we originally planned..not sure how..

[Helen Dempster]

we got married October 09 and it was the most fantastic day ever - it was such a happy event, and I wish we could do it all again. I don't think there's anything I would change really. We got married in a gorgeous listed building - ceremony and reception were on the same site, so it meant our guests didn't have to travel anywhere else after the ceremony. We kept costs down by using our own cars, shopping around for bridesmaids dresses etc. My dress was probably the most expensive thing, but I was lucky enough to have it brought for me by my mum :) She also arranged and paid for the cake :) The photographer was a lady who was just starting out, but had a good portfolio and was very enthusiastic - she was alot cheaper too! We found a flower shop that had special offers on bridal bouquets (we found them at an open day prior to the wedding). It's easy to keep costs down, you just have to shop around a bit and do some research.

Good luck in what you decide :thumbsup:

[Hebs]

my sister recently married her 2nd hubby, they went to a registery office and she wore her jeans and desert boots :eek:

they have both been married before and felt that the whole dress/suit etc wasnt really needed they just wanted to be married, cost them £40 i think :thumbsup:

:laughing:

[jaytravis]

we got married 10 yeas ago we had a lovely village church booked and nice hotel for do after then i found out i was pregnant and baby was due the day we were to get married so everything had to change lol we brought wedding forward changed to a registery office as we needed to save money now after party was at local pub aunty did food , my sisters dad had a bently so he took me in that my dad knew someone who did flowers so got them cheap, my uncle used to be a wedding photographer so he did tjhose for us for free .was a great day apart from me being full of cold lol ,
good job i did bring it all forward as i ended spending 3 months in hospital on bed rest and baby was 7 weeks early
wouldnt change anyof it though

[Tinglesnark]

We are getting married in september.
We have had to cancel the big wedding we had planned because the costs spiralled out of control and there was no way we wanted to spend in excess of 10k for a wedding...it was the guests! all people that my mother wanted there!
So i cancelled the wedding and shocked everyone :laughing:
It is now a MUCH smaller affair, although not the Gretna Green that i have always wanted - wish i'd stuck to my guns because my mother will not take no for an answer and is pouring guilt on me over 4 people that she insists have to be there...
Unfortunately, i cant magic £200 and 4 spaces at a non existent table for them so we are currently "not speaking" "until you can sort it out, I have already invited them"

i had told her that the wedding was "cancelled" for a VERY good reason

SO

Plan your wedding in secret - do the WHOLE lot on the quiet and once it has all been decided, send out your invites...

Dont tell anyone any details and then you cant be trodden on or made to feel guilty!

When i have gotten over this guilt, i shall be telling her that there is no room at the wedding for another soul...

*sigh*

So much for "best day of your life"

[The Juggler]

we got married 10 yeas ago we had a lovely village church booked and nice hotel for do after then i found out i was pregnant and baby was due the day we were to get married so everything had to change lol we brought wedding forward changed to a registery office as we needed to save money now after party was at local pub aunty did food , my sisters dad had a bently so he took me in that my dad knew someone who did flowers so got them cheap, my uncle used to be a wedding photographer so he did tjhose for us for free .was a great day apart from me being full of cold lol ,
good job i did bring it all forward as i ended spending 3 months in hospital on bed rest and baby was 7 weeks early
wouldnt change anyof it though

wow you were lucky you brought it forward or you'd have had to have cancelled everything. sounds like you had a fab day though :thumbsup:

[The Juggler]

We are getting married in september.
We have had to cancel the big wedding we had planned because the costs spiralled out of control and there was no way we wanted to spend in excess of 10k for a wedding...it was the guests! all people that my mother wanted there!
So i cancelled the wedding and shocked everyone :laughing:
It is now a MUCH smaller affair, although not the Gretna Green that i have always wanted - wish i'd stuck to my guns because my mother will not take no for an answer and is pouring guilt on me over 4 people that she insists have to be there...
Unfortunately, i cant magic £200 and 4 spaces at a non existent table for them so we are currently "not speaking" "until you can sort it out, I have already invited them"

i had told her that the wedding was "cancelled" for a VERY good reason

SO

Plan your wedding in secret - do the WHOLE lot on the quiet and once it has all been decided, send out your invites...

Dont tell anyone any details and then you cant be trodden on or made to feel guilty!

When i have gotten over this guilt, i shall be telling her that there is no room at the wedding for another soul...

*sigh*

So much for "best day of your life"

oh hon :( good for you for changing it and not being forced to spend more than you wanted to. Tell your mum to get over it - whose wedding is it anyway. Some mums seem to want to invite every long lost relative - even if you've never met them. I know it's quite sweet really as they probably only want to show you off on your big day but still...... Could you say to her if she wants to pay for the extra guests they could come maybe??

[Monkey26]

Well DevonCM as you know me you have seen my pics and facebook status' regarding my wedding haha BUT for the rest of you...

a) We splashed out on the venue because thats the place that everyone was gonna remember, was gonna be in the photos/DVD etc. We were also both very lucky that our parents offered to pay for both our outfits so this gave us a bit more 'choice' and money to spend on other things :)

b) We shopped around for bridesmaid's dresses, as there were 6 of them plus a flowergirl there was no way i was spending £100+ on each one! The adults all had a dress from Debenhams in the sale £150 down to £70 each, simple elegant and can be worn again, they paid for their own shoes and hair/make up. The flowergirls dress was £9.99 from Matalan :)

c) We had many mini arguements about flowers and cakes - my arguement why spend hundreds on real flowers that will die within 48 hours? This arguement was solved by my mother insisting on paying for them! Cake, my partners arguement was similar to mine regarding the flowers but why spend hundreds on a cake that will just get eaten - i won this arguement, paid for it myself out of my wages (not joint account like rest of wedding!) and was pleased because my partner gave in and designed it-it looked fantastic and we had loads of compliments, plus we served it as desert with the buffet in the evening :)

d) Same mini arguements over a DVD of the day, i wanted one because i knew i wouldn't be able to see the whole day or remember the words we said to each other, my partner however doesn't like hearing oneself on record- solved with the offering from my uncle to do it for free - now we agree was the best decision as we honestly missed so much of the day, funny comments/antics from relatives whilst waiting for us to arrive etc etc (we also watched certain parts in mute haha!)

e) We had a sit down meal BEFORE the ceremony - yes this meant we saw each other but we weren't worried about that! It also saved us a fortune as we only had 18 people at the sit down meal as opposed to the 80 we would have had had it been after the ceremony

f) Get married 'out of season' we got married in November and got a 10% discount, also get married on a week day, we got married on a Friday and got a further 10% discount :D

Hope some of this helps :) xx

[FussyElmo]

Married 4 years ago and al we wanted was something Like Manjay said just me, dh, and our children. However dh's mum had cancer and she wanted to see her son married so we compromised.

We had a church wedding - however our church has a little chapel downstairs so we used that.

Bridemaids used their holy communion dresses so they were already paid for.

We set a tight budget as we had just had ds and had the mortage etc.

We didnt have a sit down meal as such we went to the pub for tea but everyone paid for their own.

My friend and her mum did my flowers, cake and did all the helium balloons to decorate the reception.

Would I change it - yes probably would have preferred to go abroad but we couldnt afford that and we did want to get married :thumbsup:

[blue bear]

We got married 21 years ago in st. Lucia, just the two of us. We are not big on parties and lots of people and it was just perfect for us. Our families were very understanding and supportive

Most essential extra thing was the photographer, photos on the beach are truly special

[Tink]

Me and my husband got married in Cyprus (Capo Bay) perfect. We hired a wedding co-ordinator and she organised everything.
We chose the venue on a previous holiday and then we flew out a week before the wedding to make the choices.
I sat by the pool with 2 huge books and had to choose my flowers and our cake, it was just perfect there was no stress or anything as it was all sorted.
The morning of the wedding I got taken to the hairdressers alsong with my mum and sister and we had our hair, nails and make up done then we came back to the hotel to get ready, I was never nervous as in Cyprus there is no rush.
The ceremony overlooked the sea then we had our photographs took via horse and cart to a local garden where it was beautiful.
We came back had the most exquisit lunch and then had a traditional Cyprito dance followed by DJ pure bliss.
The next day we received our photo album and it was a memory we will never forget.

[tulip0803]

I wish that I had more time to organise it - we did it in three weeks:eek: I think it was the minimum amount of time needed for notifications:eek: .

We had a registry office ceremony and it was lovley - picked all the msuic chose the readings. We didn't use our local registry office as it looked awful and went somewhere nicer:D

We had an afternoon buffet in the local pub and then went out clubbing (kids went to stay with my Mum!):laughing: NOt much drinking as me and my best friend had found out 5 days before the wedding that we were both pregnant!

[hayleychildcare]

My wedding was on a budget.

We got married 8 years ago.

Registry office, my wedding dress was from a high street shop and cost £60. We got a taxi there and back. It was only close family invited to the registry office.

Afterwards was back at our house for a few drinks.

Our honeymoon was also the yearly family holiday (caravan in Scotland) Kids still refer to it as "Holimoon". :clapping:

If i could do it again and change something i would choose a diffeernt husband :D

[Louise317]

My hubby and I got married in Antigua on the resort. My Mum made my dress and bridesmaid dress. My Mum&partner came and our best friends were our bridesmaid/best man. We had two weeks everyone else had one week... so they got a holiday out of it and paid for it themselves...we got a honeymoon to. So two weeks in Antigua, wedding outfits, video, photo's & cake cost us £4,500... which was all paid for up front so no massive debt that can come with a wedding.

I don't regret that part at all, our families like many have split re-married, bitterness and so wasn't worth spoiling our day for everyone else and the wonder what will happen. I missed not having a proper celebration afterwards...

But we are coming up to our 10th wedding anniversary in September and we are organizing a party... been 10yrs on, means our children 5 & 2 will be celebrating with us, close family and friends that are still friends. And to those who thought we won't make it... :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Go with what makes YOU happy x

[Carol M]

We married 20 yrs ago in my home village church.
I did all the planning and dh did all the hours possible to pay for it :laughing:
I'm so glad I chose a venue that was typically "me" , a beautiful old hotel in the New Forest. I really wanted my horses to be at the reception for photos with them but as my "horsey" friends were guests and bridesmaids I didn't have anyone to sort the horses out for me so they didn't come:(
Would have loved photos with them :(
I had my dress made by a student who copied a designer one for a quarter of the price and it was fab, she made the bridesmaids too. Friend did the flowers, exactly as I planned and found the perfect cake from a little bakery.
My dad had arranged the Dj and someone to video the evening party and this was a lovely surprise. My brother did a lazer show which was another fantastic surprise. We didn't have a honeymoon as such, spent all our money on the wedding but had a few days at my mums place in Bournemouth to recover!!
I would say, always go with what YOU want and enjoy bringing it all together for a day to remember.
Carol xx