in a sticky situation...any advice please!!

[amyk]

hi there,
i was registered in jan this year, and i currently have one 8 year old girl (family friend) part time after school.
for ages and ages ive been advertising (newspaper ad, leaflets, websites) and i didnt get any response until a few weeks ago!
anyway to cut a long story short- a couple came to view my setting on monday. looking for care from the end of june they have 2 little boys, and they seemed really happy, and we got on really well. they said when they left that they had 2 other childminders to see this week, and that they would let me know by thursday. since then the mum has been emailing me lots, asking questions that she'd forgotten on monday, and she keeps saying that they were happy with what they saw, and that i am their favourite, but that they just needed to see the other 2 minders (fair enough)
now the only thing is- they know ive been looking for work for a long time, and they know how eager i am for an answer. the minder they were due to see today had to cancel now until monday :( so the mum has asked if i can wait till then, it just seems to be dragging on really. i do understand that they want to make sure theyve found the right person, but at the same time if they liked me that much surely they wont keep me waiting, esp when they know i have 2 other parents waiting to come and view my setting.

so what ive done is ive invited another parent over to view my setting on sunday. she is keen to find a minder quite soon, and she practically lives on my doorstep. i have told her the situation, so she knows i cant give her an answer till tuesday, but here is where im worrying-
what do i do if this lady really likes my setting, and is keen to leave her child with me, and wants a quick response? do i take up the chance of having her child, or do i wait for the other parents (who seem to be faffing a bit) and potentially lose this lady??

sorry if this seems long and confusing, but im really worrying now, and dont want to lose work just coz im hanging on for someone who isnt sure!!??


any help or advice will really be appreciated.
thanks!!

[crazybones]

I would say first come first served. Whoever is willing to sign contract first gets the place - as long as you are happy to take that child and it fits in with you. Good Luck.

[Twinkles]

Do you only have two spaces ?

See the second mum , she probably won't make an immediate decision either.
Which one is going to be better for you financially ?
Don't worry about making someone wait , if they really like your setting a couple of days won't make much difference to them.

[breezy]

I would say first come first served. Whoever is willing to sign contract first gets the place - as long as you are happy to take that child and it fits in with you. Good Luck.

I totally agree or you could end up losing both. :)

[avril]

I waited and wated once for a reply from a parent who would be returning back to work after maternity leave and put off x2 other parents stupidly I now realise as the first parent never ever got back to me to let me know either way :angry: :angry: Luckily I rang the other parents after 1wk and x1 were still looking for childcare so the story ended up well for me.:D
See what happens Sunday and then think carefully.:thumbsup:

Avril x:)

[Noodles]

I would say the same first come first served :) :)

[angeldelight]

Hello Amy

Well your first parent is happy to go looking elsewhere

So why cant you ??

If the parent on Sunday def wants you then I would say yes

If the first parent comes back on Tuesday and you cant fit her in then that really is not your fault
I can understand you feeling a little bad - but she wont care about you will she if she is not coming back ??

She has paid no deposit or anything and is still making up her mind so she might just be a little to late
You could always say someone called Sunday morning and took the place immediate ( if second parent takes the place )
That way you will not feel bad if she says you could have let her know!

Good luck on Sunday

Angel xxx

[Lou]

I agree with Angel.

Yo have no loyalties towards the first parent at all, just as she has no loyalties to you, so therefore if parent that visits on sun wants to sign up, if it fits in with you then go for it!!!!

You do whats best for you and your family and your business. x

[Kelly]

Would you prefer the first family as they have 2 children potentially you'll be better off?

If the other family were prepared to sign contracts I would go with them, unless you would be really upset if the first family turn around on Monday and say they wanted you. If this is the case you should wait and risk losing both families.

Good luck, with whatever you decide.

Kelly

[amyk]

oh thankyou girls so so much,

youve really put my mind at ease! i was thinking that this evening actually- that she is looking elsewhere, keeping all her options open, and so should i!! thing is- lady is really nice, i got a really good feeling from her, and i know she thought highly of my setting coz she told me. its just that she's keeping me waiting and she knows my situation!!

twinkle- i have 3 spaces, but both parent 1's kids are under 5, so its not even that i can take both families, coz the lady coming on sunday has a baby under 1!!!!

thanks ladies honestly this has really helped!!

[Lou]

you could always ask for a variation from OFSTED if both lots want you xx

[amyk]

Would you prefer the first family as they have 2 children potentially you'll be better off?

If the other family were prepared to sign contracts I would go with them, unless you would be really upset if the first family turn around on Monday and say they wanted you. If this is the case you should wait and risk losing both families.

Good luck, with whatever you decide.

Kelly



good point kelly thanks i didnt think of it like that! i do have a strong feeling that family 1 are very keen, as she keeps emailing me, and we got on so so well, its just the 'what if' really! she may well find someone she thinks is more suitable than me! i shall just see how sunday goes, i guess what is meant to be will be! many thanks.

[amyk]

you could always ask for a variation from OFSTED if both lots want you xx

thing is lou- i have a baby of my own, so even if OFSTED allowed it, i wouldnt want 4 littlies! would be a bit too much. but parent one would be brill, coz her eldest boy is 3, and baby is 9months (my baby 14months and walking) so it would work out really well!!

[Lou]

well in that case if parent 1 is the best choice for your situation i would wait and see what happens with that, if the worst happens and she goes elsewhere, you could always ring the other one to see if they stilll need care.

The thing is you cant really predict what will happen so i would just wait and see.

good luck and let us know how it goes xx

[berkschick]

I dont make anyone any promises until they have signed the contract!

I was like you in the begining and people would keep me hanging on for weeks and all the while I was putting off other people.

Now I make it clear that my places will be given on a first come, first served basis and that I can not gaurentee the place will still be there for any length of time.

The last two people to visit have signed up there and then :D

[amyk]

thanks lou, good advice thankyou so much. i will let you know the outcome on tuesday! many thanks.

[amyk]

thanks debbie, i will remember that for next time! i should have been a bit clearer from the beginning with the parents! but im quite new to it so i think i may have been a bit dozy lol!!

thanks.

[Lou]

no prob its gets easier as you go along i promise x

[berkschick]

I was always worried they would be my only chance so would hang on for them forever!

Good luck for Sunday, I hope it goes well. Dont forget to give us an update!

[angeldelight]

Good luck

Whatever happens leave your options open and you go with what you feel is right for YOU

Keep us posted

Angel xx

[Schnakes]

Hello,

I personally would phone parents 1 and tell them about parents two. Then the ball is in their court. If they still want to faff then thats their problem, not yours. :) Has always worked for me in the past, and Ive known some childminders who actually use that as a ploy to get people to sign immediately. (Something I dont agree with, btw!).

Sx

[miffy]

You've had lots of good advice already so I just wanted to wish you good luck

Hope it all works out for you

miffy xx

[amyk]

hi girls,
thanks again for all your advice it has really helped.

On saturday parent 1 had to delay her decision AGAIN because she wanted to come and see me in action as it were, for a few hours one day this week. this was after id informed her that i had another parent coming yesterday!
anyway- the parents who came yesterday were the loveliest people, and they told me that out of all the minders they had had contact with, i seemed the nicest and the fairest, and the most flexible, so they told me there and then that they would love to use my service, so i said yes!
i did feel a little bad, because i do think that parent 1 would have probably said yes to me, but there was no guarantee, and theyd been faffing about for a good few days, so i do feel ive made the right decision. my hubby said that if they wanted me they should have taken me, and its not my fault that they didnt! they were always aware of the situation, and of my need to have a quick decision, so im afraid they lost out!!!

[Pudding Girl]

hi girls,
thanks again for all your advice it has really helped.

On saturday parent 1 had to delay her decision AGAIN because she wanted to come and see me in action as it were, for a few hours one day this week.

woah! I think that is taking things a bit far, I wouldn't agree to that myself!! Aside from the security of present mindees factored in, I would NOT be comfortable with someone checking up on my to that degree, this is why we have inspections;)

Don't feel at all guilty, if parent 1 was messing you about and being finickity now, just imagine what it would be like if you signed them up??

Oohh I think you have had a lucky escape there my chick!

[Twinkles]

Glad you made a decision you are happy with.
Good luck :thumbsup:

[Splish Splosh]

yes good luck happy minding.:)

[deeb66]

I would have done exactly the same as you!

As you say.....this could end up dragging along and you could end up loosing both.

Don't feel guilty about Parent 1 as to be honest they have tried to keep their options open and have been kind of messing you around.....I totally agree with what your hubby has said.

Have you contacted Parent 1 yet to tell them that you are no longer in a position to help them?

[Heaven Scent]

Well done you - what a great outcome.:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

[Blaze]

I think this has all worked out for the best!:clapping:

[angeldelight]

Yes I agree well done

Angel xx

[wendywu]

You did right girl:clapping:

[amyk]

ah thankyou girls, you're all so supportive! it really means alot to me! unfortunately i have had a bit of a sharp reply from parent 1, and am sat here in tears, ive put up another thread with the details!

i feel angry coz she's made me feel guilty, although i did nothing wrong!!