Goatgirl
10-01-2011, 05:57 PM
Hi,
this is waaay long, so apologies in advance. ..
I've had a horrible weekend and really don't know how to sort this situation out. I'd be really grateful if anyone could give me some perspective on the situation.
I gave some parents a quick form to sign and date last thursday, just to add new hours to their contract. Just a formality I thought, as we've already started the new arrangement and they've paid for the next few weeks in advance, as usual.
They had trouble with their voucher system last month and were a fortnight late clearing into my account. I didn't give them a hard time about it, although I was £100+ down in the week before christmas but did say to not worry: I wouldn't be charging late fees this month. (These are a recent addition to my fees policy which I hadn't given them a copy of at that point, so I attached a copy to this form with an other 4 weeks notice before the new terms would apply).
I also suggested to Mum as I gave her the form that a 'later in the month' payment date would be a good idea, to give their payments longer to get to me without being late if she would like to have a think about it and get back to me next (this) week.
So on sat morning I get a phone call from dad saying he's emailed me 'some changes' to the form and can i call him to discuss. he sounded a bit odd, ...quiet?.. but I thought nothing of it and assumed it was the date change.
We've all always got on really well, have a friendly but respectful relationship, agree on childcare principles etc, the child is just gorgeous, and I considered them to be pretty much the perfect family to work with. They've been with me for coming up 16 months...
Mum was lovely and very helpful changin x's day recently so that I could have 2 children on 3 days rether than 3 on one and one on 2 days... hence the generous discount mentioned below.
So this is the wording on my original form:
New contracted hours will be Monday 8am until 4pm and Thursday 8am until 4pm. Charges will be applied at £3.75 for the first 8 hours of childcare and £3.05 for the next 8 hours of childcare. Any additional hours will be charged at £3.75.
All payments from 7th February 2011 will be made subject to the conditions set out in the latest fees and charges policy (copy attached: last reviewed 1/11/10)
Signatures/ dates...
This is the same form : (with their suggestions in blue)
Change to hours and fees for X
New contracted hours will be Monday 8am until 4pm and Thursday 8am until 4pm. Charges will be applied at £3.75 for the 8 hours of childcare on the Monday of each week and £3.05 for the 8 hours of childcare on the Thursday of each week. Any additional hours of standard childcare provided (by prior arrangement) will be charged at £3.75.
All payments from 7th February 2011 will be made subject to the conditions set out in the latest fees and charges policy (copy attached: last reviewed 1/11/10)
Invoices will contain the detail of the number of hours where childcare is expected to be provided for the subsequent month from the 20th of each month until and including the 19th of the following month, In addition if any charges are due for the previous months childcare, that were not accounted form they will be included and detailed in the next invoice.
All invoices for X’s childcare will be provided on a per calendar month basis on or before the 15th of each month, for the subsequent months childcare. Payments will only be made with a correct invoice. The date of invoice will be the 20th of each month and payment will be received into the account specified by (Me) within 5 working days of the invoice date, for the avoidance of doubt this is the due date.
All invoiced payments not received by the due date will be confirmed in writing via email, SMS text or letter, following receipt of such notice the parents will have 24 working hours to rectify the situation and provide all outstanding payments. Following this 24 hour period if payment has not been received late charges of £5 per working day will be applied and X will not be accepted for childcare until all outstanding payments are received.
Where there are any contradictions between this contract amendment and the fees and charges policy, this contract amendment will take precedence.
I understand that this agreement applies from the week beginning 10th January 2011, is an amendment to the main contract and as such, requires 4 weeks notices of any changes, unless otherwise agreed by (me) and one of X’s parents.
All other contract details remain the same.
Parent 1.
Signature: dated:
Parent 2.
Signature: dated:
Childminder. (Me)
Signature: dated:
Well it dawned on me pretty quickly that they'd taken the fees policy very personally, despite the fact it just is what it is, title and all and its not as though they haven't seen one before!I was just so shocked and upset at the way they'd dealt with the situation, I feel completely let down and just couldn't stop crying on saturday, so much so that I couldn't get out of the house to meet my daughter for luch - had to keep washing my face and re applying mascara, I was a total state.
Its spoiled my whole weekend, what with spending most of sunday morning trying to compile a calm response to all the things that were obviously bothering them.
I couldn't call as I would have just cried on the phone and didn't want to give Dad the satisfaction of thinking he'd succeeded in making me feel that bad. I said I would be keeping all financial arrangements in writing to avoid any further misunderstandings, pointed out I have offered them a ****** good discount and wasn't going to have my terms re written.
Gave them detailed reasons why.
Was very apologetic if they had taken offense at the policy which applies to all parents equally but I pointed out that I had suggested ways to avoid late fees and given plenty of notice so didn't think it would even be an issue in their case.
Dad immediately rang ( i didn't answer), left a voicemail sighing loudly and saying he was still in the same position and not really happy!! and could I call to discuss.
I emailed back (getting pretty angry by this time!) that as I had said in my earlier email I would be keeping all correspondence about finances in writing and as they'd now had a full explanation of all the 'suggestions' they had made, they could choose whether or not to sign it and continue with the new hours arrangement or not. I also offered to go back to the previous hours and rate if preferred. I wasn't rude, but I was brief. And clear that I wasn't going to be justifying myself or my business terms any more. Take it or leave it, best regards kinda thing.
Then they emailed to say they were confused that i had written such a long detailed mail when they 'haven't even made any changes to the fees'.
They said they would sign my form on condition that the payment date could change as I had suggested, they thought I was brilliant with X, didn't want to lose me etc.. BUT were confused at all the detail in my email and they were sorry for causing any offense and now were feeling rather upset themselves and if I couldn't even talk to them on the phone they didn't feel we could continue our relationship.
I had had enough by this point, feeling completely victimised and decided to have a good long think about a response, weigh up whether I thought i could ever trust them again etc and spend a couple of hours with my boyfriend and son who I'd neglected all weekend.
x was due this morning, but I got a text around 7 last night saying Hi Wendy, I wont be bringing x tomorrow. I think it should all be sorted out first so that x doesn't pick up on any bad feeling or awkwardness'.
I didn't reply as I was just exhausted by then and couldn't think of a way to answer that didn't sound defensive. I would be completely professional and lovely in front of X and have never behaved negatively to her or the parents.
I don't know whether I could carry on working with them after this 'attack', which is what it feels like. On the other hand X is so lovely, and without her I have 1 day a week with 1 child who is hard work alone but fabulous with company. All the children get on so well, the new dynamics are great, so its such a shame to say goodbye... but could i ever trust them again?
And how on earth could i 'sort it out' if I wanted to? They think I've totally overreacted to their reasonable actions and although they have apologised for any offense, they've also denied doing anything to cause offense :angry:
Angry, upset and confused.....
What would you do?
Wendy :(
this is waaay long, so apologies in advance. ..
I've had a horrible weekend and really don't know how to sort this situation out. I'd be really grateful if anyone could give me some perspective on the situation.
I gave some parents a quick form to sign and date last thursday, just to add new hours to their contract. Just a formality I thought, as we've already started the new arrangement and they've paid for the next few weeks in advance, as usual.
They had trouble with their voucher system last month and were a fortnight late clearing into my account. I didn't give them a hard time about it, although I was £100+ down in the week before christmas but did say to not worry: I wouldn't be charging late fees this month. (These are a recent addition to my fees policy which I hadn't given them a copy of at that point, so I attached a copy to this form with an other 4 weeks notice before the new terms would apply).
I also suggested to Mum as I gave her the form that a 'later in the month' payment date would be a good idea, to give their payments longer to get to me without being late if she would like to have a think about it and get back to me next (this) week.
So on sat morning I get a phone call from dad saying he's emailed me 'some changes' to the form and can i call him to discuss. he sounded a bit odd, ...quiet?.. but I thought nothing of it and assumed it was the date change.
We've all always got on really well, have a friendly but respectful relationship, agree on childcare principles etc, the child is just gorgeous, and I considered them to be pretty much the perfect family to work with. They've been with me for coming up 16 months...
Mum was lovely and very helpful changin x's day recently so that I could have 2 children on 3 days rether than 3 on one and one on 2 days... hence the generous discount mentioned below.
So this is the wording on my original form:
New contracted hours will be Monday 8am until 4pm and Thursday 8am until 4pm. Charges will be applied at £3.75 for the first 8 hours of childcare and £3.05 for the next 8 hours of childcare. Any additional hours will be charged at £3.75.
All payments from 7th February 2011 will be made subject to the conditions set out in the latest fees and charges policy (copy attached: last reviewed 1/11/10)
Signatures/ dates...
This is the same form : (with their suggestions in blue)
Change to hours and fees for X
New contracted hours will be Monday 8am until 4pm and Thursday 8am until 4pm. Charges will be applied at £3.75 for the 8 hours of childcare on the Monday of each week and £3.05 for the 8 hours of childcare on the Thursday of each week. Any additional hours of standard childcare provided (by prior arrangement) will be charged at £3.75.
All payments from 7th February 2011 will be made subject to the conditions set out in the latest fees and charges policy (copy attached: last reviewed 1/11/10)
Invoices will contain the detail of the number of hours where childcare is expected to be provided for the subsequent month from the 20th of each month until and including the 19th of the following month, In addition if any charges are due for the previous months childcare, that were not accounted form they will be included and detailed in the next invoice.
All invoices for X’s childcare will be provided on a per calendar month basis on or before the 15th of each month, for the subsequent months childcare. Payments will only be made with a correct invoice. The date of invoice will be the 20th of each month and payment will be received into the account specified by (Me) within 5 working days of the invoice date, for the avoidance of doubt this is the due date.
All invoiced payments not received by the due date will be confirmed in writing via email, SMS text or letter, following receipt of such notice the parents will have 24 working hours to rectify the situation and provide all outstanding payments. Following this 24 hour period if payment has not been received late charges of £5 per working day will be applied and X will not be accepted for childcare until all outstanding payments are received.
Where there are any contradictions between this contract amendment and the fees and charges policy, this contract amendment will take precedence.
I understand that this agreement applies from the week beginning 10th January 2011, is an amendment to the main contract and as such, requires 4 weeks notices of any changes, unless otherwise agreed by (me) and one of X’s parents.
All other contract details remain the same.
Parent 1.
Signature: dated:
Parent 2.
Signature: dated:
Childminder. (Me)
Signature: dated:
Well it dawned on me pretty quickly that they'd taken the fees policy very personally, despite the fact it just is what it is, title and all and its not as though they haven't seen one before!I was just so shocked and upset at the way they'd dealt with the situation, I feel completely let down and just couldn't stop crying on saturday, so much so that I couldn't get out of the house to meet my daughter for luch - had to keep washing my face and re applying mascara, I was a total state.
Its spoiled my whole weekend, what with spending most of sunday morning trying to compile a calm response to all the things that were obviously bothering them.
I couldn't call as I would have just cried on the phone and didn't want to give Dad the satisfaction of thinking he'd succeeded in making me feel that bad. I said I would be keeping all financial arrangements in writing to avoid any further misunderstandings, pointed out I have offered them a ****** good discount and wasn't going to have my terms re written.
Gave them detailed reasons why.
Was very apologetic if they had taken offense at the policy which applies to all parents equally but I pointed out that I had suggested ways to avoid late fees and given plenty of notice so didn't think it would even be an issue in their case.
Dad immediately rang ( i didn't answer), left a voicemail sighing loudly and saying he was still in the same position and not really happy!! and could I call to discuss.
I emailed back (getting pretty angry by this time!) that as I had said in my earlier email I would be keeping all correspondence about finances in writing and as they'd now had a full explanation of all the 'suggestions' they had made, they could choose whether or not to sign it and continue with the new hours arrangement or not. I also offered to go back to the previous hours and rate if preferred. I wasn't rude, but I was brief. And clear that I wasn't going to be justifying myself or my business terms any more. Take it or leave it, best regards kinda thing.
Then they emailed to say they were confused that i had written such a long detailed mail when they 'haven't even made any changes to the fees'.
They said they would sign my form on condition that the payment date could change as I had suggested, they thought I was brilliant with X, didn't want to lose me etc.. BUT were confused at all the detail in my email and they were sorry for causing any offense and now were feeling rather upset themselves and if I couldn't even talk to them on the phone they didn't feel we could continue our relationship.
I had had enough by this point, feeling completely victimised and decided to have a good long think about a response, weigh up whether I thought i could ever trust them again etc and spend a couple of hours with my boyfriend and son who I'd neglected all weekend.
x was due this morning, but I got a text around 7 last night saying Hi Wendy, I wont be bringing x tomorrow. I think it should all be sorted out first so that x doesn't pick up on any bad feeling or awkwardness'.
I didn't reply as I was just exhausted by then and couldn't think of a way to answer that didn't sound defensive. I would be completely professional and lovely in front of X and have never behaved negatively to her or the parents.
I don't know whether I could carry on working with them after this 'attack', which is what it feels like. On the other hand X is so lovely, and without her I have 1 day a week with 1 child who is hard work alone but fabulous with company. All the children get on so well, the new dynamics are great, so its such a shame to say goodbye... but could i ever trust them again?
And how on earth could i 'sort it out' if I wanted to? They think I've totally overreacted to their reasonable actions and although they have apologised for any offense, they've also denied doing anything to cause offense :angry:
Angry, upset and confused.....
What would you do?
Wendy :(