View Full Version : what to do?
On wednesday evening i was feeling unwell,and was up most of the night with a bad headache and stomach pains,i was not sick or anything and by thursday morning was still not good.I contacted a parent(who is also my friend)and told her how i was and that because i wasnt throwing up or had the runs that i may still mind her children,but i wanted to give her the choice to bring them or not.Iv had problems with her already as she has been really funny with me at times and always says that everythings ok.She has refused to fill in a parent questionaire,and always rushes in and out so we dont get chance to talk.Anyway when i rang her she gave me a load of abuse down the phone,she brought her children anyway but picked them up early.I told her that i dont understand what is going on with her,and she is now saying that it was me shouting at her,and that she wants to see my sickness policy and she wants me to go to her house this weekend to talk.I feel like giving her notice as i cant see things improving,as i think our friendship is over!I also get the feeling that she does not like paying me even tho i let her have childcare cheaper than my other parent.what to do?She has crossed a line by abusing me down the phone,she was like a mad woman! any advise,as soon as possible please. thanks jake
jumpinjen
30-10-2010, 07:58 AM
Refuse to go to her house.... politely. I do not deal with business on my weekend off. E-mail her the sickness policy if she wishes to see it and explain in writing in the e-mail why you called her. Offer a variety of appointments during the week if she wishes to discuss anything with you. But personally after abuse and after all the other things that she has been up to recently (i read your other posts) then I would be seriously considering giving notice. be prepared for her to go into a statospheric tmeper though and to refuse to pay you for the notcie period. take it down the legal route if you want to. And yes... I also supsect that your friendship may be over, but who needs a friend like that?? My advice? decide what you gonna do and do it then get on with your weekend and try very hard to ignore it so you can enjoy!
Hugs, Jen x
sarah707
30-10-2010, 08:59 AM
Unfortunately a lot of friendships end with this job :(
As Jen says you need to leave it for the weekend, it's your time off... and you need to put your friendship to one side now and start being totally professional.
Put things in writing, email your policy, explain your position in a way which will not be taken wrongly.
You are always welcome to run things by us before sending them if you want to check you are not putting emotions before business.
Hugs xx
Thank you jen and sarah,im going to take your advice but i really dont know what to put in the letter as she is one of those people that does often take things the wrong way!Any ideas on how to word it as im not very good at this type of thing,i dont want to say the wrong things.And to be honest i am feeling emotional about it,shes not very good at listening to people and often talks over me so i dont get chance to say what i need to say,so yes a letter would be professional but dont know where to start and feel like giving it all up.Im now actually questioning myself and wondering if im just not doing a very good job where parents are concerned.Feeling pretty miserable at the moment!
Thanks jake
jumpinjen
30-10-2010, 10:53 AM
post back with the points that you want to make and i'll draft you one, just done my own this week so in the mood!!
jen x
candy cat
30-10-2010, 10:58 AM
just do simple paragraphs that are to the point and keep it professional as she sounds she would use it against you....forget your friends and write it as just another parent.....
- the way she spoke to you
-no communication etc
- just say relationship as broken down and can't work as a partnership anymore
-therefore giving 4 weeks notice!
good luck cx
Hi guys,i did end up going to see her at the weekend and i was proud of myself for being professional and not saying anything silly.I explained my points to her and she was very apologetic and promised to communicate from now on,as iv told her that i cant look after her children if we cant work together because i wont be doing my job properly as its a requirement that i work in partnership with parents blah blah blah.Anyway i still dont really understand what it was all about,we have agreed to have a meeting every couple of weeks to discuss her two and half year old sons development/care needs ect.I do feel relieved now and hope it works out.Thanks everyone for your help
Jake :)
miffy
03-11-2010, 06:14 PM
Well done for talking it through professionally.
I hope everything works out for you now
Miffy xx