Inclusive or unreasonable?

[ryanna]

Hi all, I'm just after some opinions on a situation I have with one of my little ones.

The parents work shifts and I therefore look after the little one some weekends.

The family are catholic and have asked me to take their child to catholic mass on the Sundays when I'm working, but that would mean taking my own children too, and we are not catholic, or religious at all in fact.

I am all for equal opportunities, and have worked very hard to create an inclusive setting, actually Ofsted commented on the provisions I have made to meet the individual needs of each of the children I mind, but I can't help wondering if their request is a little unreasonable.

Would I be wrong to refuse it?

[FussyElmo]

I wouldn't expect anyone to take my children to church if I was working.

Would I take a minded child to church if I was working and would have to take my children to a different faith church - no I wouldnt. I dont expect my mindees to share my faith so why should a mindees family expect me to share theirs.

Tell the family that you are uncomfortable taking the child.

It wont harm the child to miss church wyhen they are working - lets face it they are. Surely there is another mass they can go together as a family.

[wellybelly]

I would'nt do this and I don't believe you're being unreasonable if you were to say no. It's not really your responsbility to do that and you have you own children to consider too. If they were to complain, I don't think Ofsted could support the parent on this one either.

When I worked at Tesco, there was a member of staff who had it drawn into to his work contract that he couldn't work on a Sunday because of his religion. Maybe the parents should be looking at a more inclusive solution their end rather than expecting their childminder to be the solution?

[ryanna]

Thank you, that was my feeling too, I was just a little apprehensive about saying no and it seeming as though I was refusing to respect their religious customs. We do other activities at home relating to their faith, but I wanted to be sure it wasn't just me that thought this was perhaps a step too far.

[Stillgoingstrong]

No, I would not take the children to Church. You dont normally go so why would you? It is unfair and unreasonable of the parents to ask or expect you to, especially as you would have to take yours along too. If the parents are that bothered then why don't they do it themselves - oh, because they are working I know, but the Bible says that Sunday is a day of rest, so if they're that fussed they should be resting! Would also like to say do they actually realise just how lucky they are to actually have you on a Sunday?:littleangel:

[sarah707]

No you are not being unreasonable.

If you were going to mass anyway then you might take them with you but if it's not your faith then no, you should not go - it would be wrong.

The parents, family and godparents are responsible for the children's religious upbringing... maybe extended family members could collect the children and take them to mass?

Hth :D

[ryanna]

To be fair to them, they asked me to do it, they didn't insist, and I think they do appreciate the fact that I accomodate their awkward shift pattern (first three of every 8 days) so I hope our relationship won't be affected if I say no.

[ryanna]

They are Polish and don't have any relatives in England :( I think they consider me their extended family! :)

[Pauline]

I don't think it unreasonable to refuse.

You need to think whether you want to do it, if you don't then that is fine you need to feel comfortable with your job.

However, I do think it is lovely that they see you as extended family and you must be honoured, but don't let that be a reason to do what they want all the time, put yourself first. :)

[flowerpots]

i think if they are really bothered about taking lo to mass they should opt out of working sundays and go as a family. :rolleyes:

[pinkbutterfly]

They can go on Saturday evening with their child. In Poland the last service on Saturday counts as Sunday ... it is for people who can't make it to church on Sunday for whatever reason.

[The Juggler]

ask yourself this. if a parent said I want you to do this activity on a certain day with my child regardless of the other children - would you do it. Just because it's church it's no different.

Personally I think this is a cheek!

[mama2three]

They can go on Saturday evening with their child. In Poland the last service on Saturday counts as Sunday ... it is for people who can't make it to church on Sunday for whatever reason.

This is what i was going to suggest , Saturday vigil mass is the same as sunday morning mass , and if i cant go on the sunday I go on the saturday! So unless you are working both days there shouldnt be a problem! I wouldnt ask someone to take my boys to mass - I would consider this unreasonable of me! Plus children so young either switch off , or need a lot of support to follow and understand what is happening , which you are unlikely to be able to do.
there is likely to be someone at church who leads the childrens liturgy - a kind of sunday school teacher. maybe you could drop off the child with them , and collect at the end of mass? I would have been happy with this when I ran the childrens group..maybe a compromise you would both be happy with?

[wendywu]

I am sorry but they do not employ you they just choose to take a place in YOUR setting. They saw your setting and the way that it ran when they came for a visit.

Never ever ever feel that you are under any sort of obligation to alter the routine that meets the needs of the existing setting and the children in it.

Never never feel that you cannot say NO. :thumbsup:

[Ripeberry]

No you are not being unreasonable.

If you were going to mass anyway then you might take them with you but if it's not your faith then no, you should not go - it would be wrong.

The parents, family and godparents are responsible for the children's religious upbringing... maybe extended family members could collect the children and take them to mass?

Hth :D

True, there must be people there that the child knows, but how long does it go on for and would you have to be hovering outside waiting for them? :(

They are very lucky in the first place to have found a CM willing to work on a Sunday in the first place!

[wendywu]

[

They are very lucky in the first place to have found a CM willing to work on a Sunday in the first place![/QUOTE]



My thoughts as well :D