View Full Version : Playing with toy guns???
Spangles
14-03-2010, 04:58 PM
My 4 year old son (5 in April) plays with Transformers already and has now got into wanting an action man.
My problem with this is the gun. Hubby's in the army and so I am not comfortable with pretending to play with guns and shooting/killing toys but he even makes his k-nex into guns.
It's his birthday soon and he wants action men, etc.
I know that I can't stop this, it seems all the boys at school are into this as well but does anyone else feel like me?
How can I explain to him about how horrible guns are and still let him play with them?
What do you think and do? When I think back I do remember I had a play gun for christmas one year and pretended to be one of Charlie's Angels until my mum confiscated it!
Mookins
14-03-2010, 05:02 PM
Tough one...my lil girl is 3 and loves "killing me" bang bang:( we dont have toy guns in the house but she too makes things
my older brother is in the army and i hate anything like this...what to do except try and explain as best you can...
x x
when my son had action man it was more like 007 then army, but i did remove the guns, not sure why thou i had a machine gun when i was about 6 or 7 drove my parents mental with the noise but times change ......
childmind04
14-03-2010, 05:08 PM
Its hard when you dont like them, but i have found even if you dont buy them actual guns they use lego, stick or their hands :rolleyes:
I do try to discourage loud in your face games that include guns/violence but they still play power rangers , cops and robbers etc, as for action men my son never bothered but i am sure thi guns would have went missing if you know what i mean ;)
My own son (7) loves the call of duty games for the ps3 and me and hubby have had many a conversation over them, i unfortunalty loose as my hubby thinks that as long as he understands it a game and that the swearing is wrong then it no worse than some of the things he will hear in the school yard or see on the news :panic:
Tina O
14-03-2010, 05:17 PM
I also am married to the 'army' (or so it seems most weeks!)
I have never kept guns away from my boys or mindees. I have not gone out of my way to encourge it but their dad(s, and some mindee mums!) work with guns and if you try and say that the guns are all bad then what message is it giving the kids ref their parents? it's a difficult one no easy answer but as long as guns are not glorified then whats the problem, after all I hope most kids grow out of the 'playing gun fighting stage' don't they? now knives, here I do have a problem .............. they are never toys!
littlesprogs
14-03-2010, 05:20 PM
if you keep taking toy guns off him and telling him not to play gun games then he is just going to become more interested in them.
My hubby had a friend who was never allowed toy guns and it made him more interested and when he got older he was that interested he got more than one to compare etc because he never knew anything about them. I'm not saying this is the same in all cases but i think toy guns are acceptable to a certain extent but if you explain how dangerous they can be whilst still letting him play then i dont see a problem. I'll allow my son toy guns like the ones that shoot foam bits but i wont allow him the ones that look so realistic etc.
did you hear about the news story in america where a 3 year old girl picked up a gun thinking it was the toy wii remote and it was actually a real one that the dad had left out by accident and she shot herself? On the news they showed the real gun and the remote toy and i personnaly couldnt tell the difference!!
i think a study not long ago actually discouraged parents from banning toy guns as it is a natural part of "being a boy"
mark has always had a toy gun, sword, bow and arrow while growing up, he isnt really interested in them now :thumbsup:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-504992/Why-boys-allowed-play-toy-guns.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/7163741.stm
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2007/dec/29/earlyyearseducation.schools
HTH :D
Dare4Distance
14-03-2010, 05:43 PM
My own son (7) loves the call of duty games for the ps3 and me and hubby have had many a conversation over them, i unfortunalty loose as my hubby thinks that as long as he understands it a game and that the swearing is wrong then it no worse than some of the things he will hear in the school yard or see on the news :panic:
Wow, letting a kid play with a toy gun or with an action man with a gun is one thing but letting a 7 year old kid play Call Of Duty is unbelievable. That game is a certificate 18 for a reason. Fair enough he'll hear people swearing in normal life but he's not going to witness people shooting each other like in the game. Also, letting a kid watch a show where someone gets shot is totally different to the child controlling someone in a game and making that person kill things.
littlesprogs
14-03-2010, 05:51 PM
Wow, letting a kid play with a toy gun or with an action man with a gun is one thing but letting a 7 year old kid play Call Of Duty is unbelievable. That game is a certificate 18 for a reason. Fair enough he'll hear people swearing in normal life but he's not going to witness people shooting each other like in the game. Also, letting a kid watch a show where someone gets shot is totally different to the child controlling someone in a game and making that person kill things.
I agree, my hubby has shooting games assasins creed is the recent one he pays at the moment but he NEVER plays them when my son is around only when he is in bed or out of the house.
my son (JUST gone 10) play call of duty, assasins creed and grand theft auto
it is NOT that unusual for younger kids to play these games, my friends 7 year old also plays them
Dare4Distance
14-03-2010, 06:12 PM
It might not be unusual but that doesn't make it right.
LOOPYLISA
14-03-2010, 06:26 PM
my son (JUST gone 10) play call of duty, assasins creed and grand theft auto
it is NOT that unusual for younger kids to play these games, my friends 7 year old also plays them
:eek:
Each to there own :thumbsup:
MarpleJollytots
14-03-2010, 06:40 PM
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Would you let a 7 year old sit down and watch an 18 film ?????????? Whats the difference ??? Non.
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: Would you let a 7 year old sit down and watch an 18 film ?????????? Whats the difference ??? Non.
my friend does :(
mark watches SOME 15 movies
sweets
14-03-2010, 07:23 PM
personally i find it very sad that anyone would let a young child play these disgusting games and watch videos that are not suitable for thier age. Children should be protected from these and be able to keep thier inocence on these things for as long as possible. they are children and not mini adults, and sometimes they should be told NO even if they dont like it. Everyone wants their child to be popular and not 'dorky' but letting play these games is just not on.
i think its a completly different subject than letting play with guns. i would never have a toy gun in my house and would discourage children from making them out of duplo and sticks etc but i wouldnt ban it, as i know that boys will be boys. I hate guns and having worked for army families before i know its hard for them to explain to children about why they shouldnt play them. but being in the army is not an excuse for letting children play with them!
Dragonfly
14-03-2010, 07:25 PM
Same as Hebs, my well two of my boys are grown up now and it woulD:) nt of crossed my mind not to let them have guns (toy!!!) when they were young. THEY HAD BOWS AND ARROWS, GUNS, DAGGERS YOU NAME IT, MY HUSBAND ALSO TAUGHT THEM TO USE A AIR GUN.THEY HAVE TURN OUT IN TO RESPONSIBLE SENSIBLE ADULTS who do not go aroung fighting, stabbing or shooting people!!!. pART OF BEING A BOY, OH AND SOME GIRLS LIKE THE TOYS TOO
FussyElmo
14-03-2010, 07:33 PM
Well my children are allowed to play with toy guns etc - we actually have a weapons chest at home as we have cumilated (sp) so many of them. I dont believe that playing with guns will turn them into gun wielding adult as much as letting girl play with dolls will mean they will be pregnant before they can blink.
Now the games well I wont let my eldest ds 8 play on 18 games but he does have some 12 games as they were suitable for him. So will I refuse four years down the line :rolleyes: I dont know.
I dont believe that playing with guns will turn them into gun wielding adult as much as letting girl play with dolls will mean they will be pregnant before they can blink.
:clapping: :clapping:
excellent analogy :thumbsup:
Dare4Distance
14-03-2010, 08:01 PM
That being said though. Would you let your daughter play games about teenagers having sex with loads of people and there not being any consequences to their actions? They can sleep with whoever they like and nothing bad will happen because it's not real. They wont get pregnant, and if they do, who cares, it's only a game. We can just restart the game.
Because these games young kids are being allowed to play allow them to run about killing people for no reason and with no consequences. You can kill police men, sleep with prostitutes and then kill them "for fun" and then go about your daily life like normal. If you get shot and die it's ok, you just start the game again.
:rolleyes:
That being said though. Would you let your daughter play games about teenagers having sex with loads of people and there not being any consequences to their actions? They can sleep with whoever they like and nothing bad will happen because it's not real. They wont get pregnant, and if they do, who cares, it's only a game. We can just restart the game.
yeah it's called SIM's :laughing:
sweets
14-03-2010, 08:04 PM
yeah it's called SIM's :laughing:
wow hebs i can't believe you think its funny! :(
Dare4Distance
14-03-2010, 08:06 PM
Have you ever played SIMS? Children can't sleep with people in that game. For a reason. It's wrong. Like you don't get games where children are running about shooting people. The object of SIMS isn't to sleep with people and get pregnant. That's just something that can happen. The object of these shooting games is to kill people, deal drugs and sleep with prostitutes.
wow hebs i can't believe you think its funny! :(
actually it is a very good way of opening the lines of conversation :D
and those who know my kids will vouch for me when i say they are well adjusted kids :thumbsup:
Have you ever played SIMS? Children can't sleep with people in that game. For a reason. It's wrong. Like you don't get games where children are running about shooting people. The object of SIMS isn't to sleep with people and get pregnant. That's just something that can happen. The object of these shooting games is to kill people, deal drugs and sleep with prostitutes.
actually i have played SIM's and yes they can sleep with each other and get pregnant :thumbsup:
FussyElmo
14-03-2010, 08:12 PM
So how many people allow their children watch soaps before the watershed which is full of murder, teenage pregnancy and drugs - which my children dont watch and that is much more lifelike than some of the games they can play on :)
Dare4Distance
14-03-2010, 08:13 PM
Children can't! Unless you're sick and you hack it to make it so they can. That's just wrong. Teenagers can with a hack too.
So how many people allow their children watch soaps before the watershed which is full of murder, teenage pregnancy and drugs - which my children dont watch and that is much more lifelike than some of the games they can play on :)
:clapping:
if we are going to censor games then censor ALL tv programmes and adverts cos some of them are scary too :thumbsup:
Children can't! Unless you're sick and you hack it to make it so they can. That's just wrong. Teenagers can with a hack too.
i didnt mean the kids can sleep toghter i ment the kids can make the adults sleep togther :thumbsup:
Dare4Distance
14-03-2010, 08:16 PM
So how many people allow their children watch soaps before the watershed which is full of murder, teenage pregnancy and drugs - which my children dont watch and that is much more lifelike than some of the games they can play on :)
When they play the game they are controlling the person. THEY are making someone kill someone else! These games are 18 certificate for a reason.
Also, pre-watershed you don't see these things. You know it's happened by what's going on but you don't actually see it, that's why it's allowed.
Dare4Distance
14-03-2010, 08:22 PM
i didnt mean the kids can sleep toghter i ment the kids can make the adults sleep togther :thumbsup:
The sims isn't a childrens game. It's a 12+ game. Also, like I said before, it's not the same because it's not the object of the game. You don't have to get your sim to have sex to win the game. It's just something that can happen in the game. They don't even call it sex and you don't see anything.
The object of these games is to kill people, you have to kill people to win the game!
FizzysFriends
14-03-2010, 08:34 PM
There was a programme on the other week (possibly Supernanny extreme parenting) and they set up 2 groups of children on video games, one a fighting game and one a child friendly sprts game and then tested the children after and the ones that played 20 mins on the fighting game had a totally different attitude to violence after (their heart rate didn't rise after watching war footage off the 6 o'clock news) and they lost their apathy. Was very interesting. I don't allow games like that in the house, there is plenty of time when they are grown ups to play them there is no need when they are little and so easily influenced.
Think this thread is getting out of hand now..
What people do with their own kids is upto them!!
I do not let Jake [8] play games that are 18 such as assissins creed, grand theft auto, but he has played grand turrismo [sp]
Lids do see things differently to adults so what we are worried about may not necessarily be what dangers we see....
I dont stop them playing with some guns, but some that my mindee [10] brings I do stop as the malice in his actions I do not like....so I do ban them.
We have al sorts of weapons ie swords etc...I agree with hebs when she says that we shouldn't stop the role play with guns etc.
Saying that I have resident evil on my ds and poppy [2] likes switching my ds on clicking on it and laughing at the eye at the beginning but thats as far as she sees.
Every parent knows their child, so we base our decisions on that x
kindredspirits
14-03-2010, 08:50 PM
i deal with gun play by giving the kids water guns - they shoot each other but we don't pretend to kill (talking about 2-5 yos) that satisfies both criteria, me not wanting to play killing games and them wanting to 'shoot' each other - they even make water guns out of lego :rolleyes: ;)
i wouldn't let a child play violent computer games because i don't believe in them - but allowing your child to play those type of games doesn't make you a terrible person just means that your judgement is different to mine - thats what makes the world go round! :thumbsup:
Spangles
15-03-2010, 01:59 PM
I don't let my son watch the news and he's in bed before any soaps come on tv, if he wasn't, I'm not sure if I would let him watch them or not. Main reason I don't let him see the news is because of the soldiers in Afghan, it bothers him even though his dad isn't there at the moment and he gets upset enough when he goes away.
Under no circumstances would I allow him to play, or see, war games like the ones mentioned above, we don't have any and don't agree with them. In my opinion they are rated 18 so perhaps would be acceptable for a mature 16 year old but definitely no younger!
My son is a child and I want him to enjoy his childhood without learning about horrific things like war and torture and things like prostitutes any sooner than he has to.
Still not sure about playing with toy guns! I still think it's wrong and maybe will leave it for another year or so. He has waterguns so hopefully that will suffice!!
mama2three
15-03-2010, 02:27 PM
My 15 and 16 year old arent allowed to play grand theft etc. they are 18s , and plus i find them offensive - wouldnt be happy if dh played them never mind children!
Gunplay is completely different though - we try to channel their energies into appropriate play - like pp mentioned water guns , or we sometimes have zappers that make everything enormous / disappear / etc.
lots and lots of studies out there - most say that gunplay should not be 'banned' , even a nursery world article i remember from a couple of years ago came to the same conclusions.
Most also conclude that use of violent computer games have a detrimental effect on youngsters.
Blaze
15-03-2010, 04:17 PM
Am running out the door so no time for a proper reply - Just wondered do you think that in this instance he he trying to be like his Daddy - or sees Actionman as a small world version of Daddy? Or do you think it's play thing?...just a thought - will be back later!
geordiebunny
15-03-2010, 05:18 PM
Iknow that is seems to have become a little sidetracked with the games and stuff and thought I had better just say something instead of reading and running.
The ex wife actually made a complaint to Ofsted about my step son watching and playing on games/movies which were 18+ etc. I had to completely justify it to Ofsted at a visit and stated that I monitored it and always checked everything before allowing him to play or watch something that is meant for someone older. Of course with minded children it is different as I do plan to stick to the age limits ( i only have a toddler at mo so it doesnt really count).
I explained that I used my own judgement and understanding of my step son and they fully accepted this. So i think only you can really tell whether something is suitable for your child.
Also with regards to toy guns and knives this is a definate no no in my house and has been since the children started to live with us from 2005 I dont like them and that is my opinion.
PixiePetal
15-03-2010, 05:59 PM
My 13 yr old DS went to a friends house for sleepover - just the 2 lads there,and they played Grand theft auto on playstation. I was not asked by parent and as it is an 18 I was very cross about it. Should have phoned to ask:angry:
Having said that, we discussed the game at home. He has been asking it for about 3 years and answer has always been NO! We bought it, watched and listened to it and have let him play - when no LOs at my house - or friends without the say so of their parents - language is awful :rolleyes: Any language from him like that and it will be on the bonfire.
He is a very mature boy - almost a man! I know him best and he will not turn into a gun wielding criminal because of it.(DH has real guns and DS knows the dangers and responsibilities that go with them)
Heaven Scent
15-03-2010, 07:04 PM
I will say I have mixed feelings regarding playing with guns. I played with them a lot when I was young - we all played cowboys and indians - we all pointed something (finger, twigs/sticks , toy guns etc ) at our friends and said "Bang Bang - I shot you dead" then your friend would fall to the floor and lie on their backs with their arms & legs outstretched and play dead for a minute or so before hopping back up and it would be their turn to do the killing and so on. To date I don't know of one of my friends who has become a mass murderer and they are all either in their late 40's and early 50's. - Although we grew up in Dublin where there was a civil war raging about 100 miles up the road and saw visions of shooting on the national news daily we didn't grow up a nation of killers.
I've worked with children for almost all of my adult life and have been an aunt since I was in my mid teens and in my experience a great number of children especially boys go through a phase of playing with guns as someone else on here said if they dont have toy guns to play with they turn all sorts into them - lego, knex. train track etc etc. I feel if you make an issue of it you can make them more obsessed with them.
With regard to my own DS (now 14) I didn't buy him toy guns for a long time but we lived in a small development and there were 4 other boys there who were the same age as him and when they were about 4.5 they all had guns and would take them out to play in the park and my poor DS was not able to join in until one day we went to a fete at the local playgroup and he saw a riffle there and asked if he could have it - it cost 10p so I said yes - he was so happy and could then join in with his friends - The phase was short lived and he moved on after a few weeks. When he was 5 or 6 I had a cowboys and Indians party for him and he asked me if he could have guns & holsters which I got him again he only played with them for a very short while.
One of the reasons I didn't want him to have guns was because I am Irish and over here people find it very hard to differenciate the difference between what is known over here as Northern Ireland (Its called the six counties in Ireland, because that is all it is, just 6 of 32 counties there are 2 other counties in the North of Ireland - Donegal & Monaghan which are not under British rule and which were not affected by the troubles) there was never any trouble in the other 26 counties of Ireland but I have heard some very very nasty comments made about Irish people since I've lived here and how they are violent (this was based on news coverage of the troubles in the 6 counties) so for that reason in particular I was very reluctant to let DS have a gun.
I will say that I made the mistake of allowing my DS to go on the Grand Theft Auto games on his Play Station when he was 8 years old - I was naieve and going through a particularly hard time with deaths and illness in the family I was also working over 2 days in one job, one day assessing plus half a day doing teaching practice on top of going to college P/T to do my FE teacher training. My DS's friends parents were rather liberal (I just didn't realise how liberal) and bought him the games - I resisted for a while but didn't know why I was resisting but when DS made his Frst Holy Communion DH took him out to spend some of his money that he had as gifts and allowed him to buy it (oh the irony - if only the priests etc knew) - I stupidly believed that as it was a game the age rating referred to ability rather than suitability age rating it wasn't until we moved house that and DS had some friends round after his birthday party that one of the parents took me to one side and expained how nasty it was - I was so embarrassed and ashamed and put the games away and have only recently returned them to him. - I know he is still not 18 but he is a well adjusted and sensible young man who is also very sensitive to the needs of others he also went through puberty very young and we have come out the other side of the horrible phase where his parents are the enemy and I believe he is now old enough to handly the difference between fantacy and reality. If he was not so mature in himself I certainly wouldn't allow him to have them. In addition my son goes to Air Cadets where he practices shooting - I think it is a bit of a contradiction to say he can shoot there but not do virtual shooting on a video game.
I believe you need to assess each situation on its own merit and you also need to know when to distract children if the play becomes unsuitable or obsessive.
With regards to action man my son had some that a neighbours son gave to him and they are still in my attic - they can be used in 2 ways one as an action hero without the guns and the other with the guns. One of our action men has a fab motorbike for using in the snow and we have scuba diving Action man plus we have a fab action man car and a jeep if you take the missiles out of them then the children don't think to use them in a violent way - they are then just "Barbies" for boys - I also have loads of Barbies and Brats dolls in my loft that I have never taken out for my mindees and I have to say DD hardly played with them - I may not like what people say they stand for but I never let my DD have them until she was older like I was when I had mine and I loved dressing them up and so did she - I think 3&4 is way too young for Barbie.
I also have loads of Barbies and Brats dolls in my loft that I have never taken out for my mindees and I have to say DD hardly played with them - I may not like what people say they stand for but I never let my DD have them until she was older like I was when I had mine and I loved dressing them up and so did she - I think 3&4 is way too young for Barbie.
My daughter is 2 and she has barbies...why do you think 3/4 istoo young for them?
devoncm
15-03-2010, 08:29 PM
Me and my sis when younger had guns and dressed as indians and stuff, but i dont like mine playing guns actually, the other day in the paper a lil girl think she was 3? maybe a bit older, she accidently shot herself, her step dad had left a real gun on coffee table after hearing someone outside appaently and before this the girl was playing a shooting game n the wii and mistook the real gun for the wii one-very sad.
LOOPYLISA
15-03-2010, 09:15 PM
My daughter is 2 and she has barbies...why do you think 3/4 istoo young for them?
Ive just given my 3 yr old neice my dd's old barbies, gosh there must be 50 :D
Gherkin
15-03-2010, 09:42 PM
There have been studies to say that you can hide guns and gunplay from boys but get a group of children together and eventually there will be gun play.
I let my son have gun play and his sister. They only do it occassionally whereas if I had taken gunplay away from them I think they would probably play it more.
Games - i tend to stick to the rating.
Films - my son has watched all the spidermen films but only after I watched them to see the content. He is very bright and understands that it is all pretend. (i'm more worried about what he could see on the lunchtime news or hear on the news on the radio).
I think each child is different and so is each family. You all just have to do what is right for your own family. When mindees are concerned it is a case of working to your rules and the rules of the family.
My daughter is 4 and loves Barbie. She likes changing all the clothes around as they seem to have tons of different clothes. Personal choice again.