how to get my ds over his potty number2 phobia

[kindredspirits]

any advice welcome.
he is pretty much potty trained on the wee front - as long as i get his pants down in time - but am out of ideas of how to get him to do a poo. :panic:
basically, every day he poos his pants and then asks to be cleaned up - i can tell when he needs to go because he sticks his bum out and moans a bit - then he manages to fight the urge and is ok for a few hours.
if i remind him he shouts 'no' - i've offered him the toilet as well as the potty but if i try to force him down on it he makes himself stiff as a board and screams blue murder - and still won't do anything.
i've tried bribing him with a sticker chart and with the offer of a present (which usually works).
this has been going on for a couple of weeks now.

tried speaking to my useless husband last night and he just shrugged his shoulders and said 'he'll get it eventually' but today when george messed himself he ended up shouting at him :(

[Gizmo]

I have a potty number2 phobia as well, hate cleaning potty poos
DD will pee on potty but poos on toilet, mindee pee'd in toilet fine but kept pooing pants when she was sleeping, she just seemed to stop and started going to toilet I think she just got fed up with having to get cleaned up all the time

Sorry not much help

[jumpinjen]

My daughter was like this and at the time she had just discovered ice-pops. We said that when she did a poo on the loo she could have an ice-pop and that was the only time she could have one (she didn't have them at all unless the did one). We didn't put any pressure on her, and we didn't make a fuss if she messed (or pooed on the hall carpet which was what usually happened!!), she just knew the score. After about three weeks, she pooed on the loo, and she had an ice pop and never looked back.... once she was consistent with it, we raised the idea that once the box of ice-pops was finished, we wouldn;t be buying any more and there would n't be any more for poos on the loo. She accepted this without a murmur and by the time the box ran out, she was bomb proof!! I have to add that I normally don't resort to bribery and corruption in this way, but at the time it was the right solution!!! is there anything he really loves that you ccould offer like this?? and not give at any other time??

jen x

[Blaze]

I have always done it so that if mine(minded & my own children) don't want to poo on the potty / toilet then I get them to tell me when they need to go & I put pull ups on them (the only time I use pull ups) - they go & then I change their nappy & put pants'knickers on, so the pull ups are only on them whilst they go)....this usually lasts a month or so & then they (in their own time) one day just go on the potty / toilet themselves. It takes the stress out of it & gives them control over the situation. (As well as making it easier for me as easier to do a nappy clean up & put pants/knickers on again afterwards than have to clean a poo accident in clothing IYSWIM) en once they have been on the toilet / potty they get given a star sticker etc & it just naturally goes from there!!! HTH:)

[sarak31]

I had exactly the same thing with my youngest and tried bribery etc but nothing seemed to work. I always had her in pants, felt she thought she was 'winning' if she was in nappies for no2, and started just ignoring if she did it in her pants. I just cleaned her up without a word and carried on as if it hadn't happened. When she did one by accident on the potty whilst doing a no1 I made a massive fuss of her, hugs cuddles, a treat, and told daddy when he came home so made a big deal of it - she was a bit proud and it went from there!

[kindredspirits]

thanks for the replies - i will try a bit of both i think! :D

[mum2two]

TBH I don't think there is anything much you can really do - believe me I've tried everything. Ignoring, bribery, reward charts, sweets, treats, telling off, laxatives, making him clean it, making him sit on the potty, a special potty ds game... The dr's aren't concerned either!

DS was trained for wees at 20 months, but now at 4 & a half, and at school, still will not poo in the toilet. I think every day for the last 2 weeks he's come out of school with a bag of pants!

I've just been told not to make a fuss, clean him up & he'll get it in his own time. A lot easier said than done - I know! Sometimes at the end of a stressful 10 hour day, cleaning his pooey bum & pants for the 3rd time, does become the last straw!!

Would be nice to hear if anyone does have a magic trick that works though! :rolleyes:

xx

[katickles]

When you know he needs to go, you could always get him to sit on the potty & give him some bubbles to blow.

Apparently the muscles relax when doing this & therefore makes it easier for them to go.

He will also see the bubbles as a bit of a reward.

Maybe worth a try :)

[jo f]

OOOO will try bubbles idea, I too have a mindee who has this prob, but luckally she only does a poo for me maybe once or twice a week so not a prob for me really. She only wees once poss twice a day whilst i have her (8.45- 5-15) I've mentioned this to mum, she must have a bladder of steel, mine is like a paper bag!!!!!! She doesn't drink that much during the day, although i encourage it as much as I can.

[mum2two]

Oh yeah - we tried the bubble idea too... :( I think it's a bit like wetting the bed, and child will not stop until something clicks in their brain.

xx

[Tina O]

I remember it well!!!!!!!

it takes time, I would go along the lines mentioned a couple of times above, ignor the mistakes, clean up with no talking, no acknowledgment and no fuss but when potty (or loo) is used for either 1 or 2 then fuss fuss fuss make a BIG thing about it....... it will not go on forever, but never force a child onto a potty or loo, makes it a bad place to be. find the currency that works, if its stickers, treats, special TV times, visit to the park, whatever works to praise the child keep with this and they will come round, it just seems to go on forever when you are in the middle of it but looking back it is quite a short period of time really. ....

[margimum]

A parent i know had to resort to putting nappy on 4 year old just whilst he did poo. then progressed to sitting on toilet with nappy on to do it. after he was ok with this, one day she cut a big hole in the nappy before putting it on and when he pooed it went into the toilet!!
He was reassured that it was ok and never looked back!:)

[Spangles]

I had this problem with my son. Apparently it is really common, especially with boys.

My ds used to get really, really upset.

In the end I would sit him on the toilet when I 'knew' he needed to go and we would sit and chill out, I would read him a book, blow bubbles, sing, etc - totally not mentioning the 'deed'! Ha!

We would sit there for a while and then get off if nothing happened but when he did do a poo I would go crazy!!! Clapping and saying how fab it was and how he'd done really well.

He was into cars big time then so I made a reward chart of a road with a laminated race car we could move up the road blocks as he did poos and he got some chocolate when he got to the top - another main love of his!

Anyway, this really worked over time. He wasn't under any pressure and it just happened.

Worked for us anyway.

Oh! I also bought a couple of books about pooing which really made me giggle but he loved them. I think one was 'Everybody Poos' or something like that. It had lots of drawings of animals and their different shaped and sized poos and a little boy on the toilet pooing at the end. It was so funny - it was his favourite book while he went through this!

[kindredspirits]

yesterday he started a poo in his pants, i put him on the potty and said sit there until it all falls out - he wasn't happy with me but when he had finished i pointed out the 'dirty' as he calls it, and really went crazy excited - and he was very excited to tell daddy, so hopefully it might start to get a bit easier. am running out of pants so need to go shopping :rolleyes: