Childm Maintenance - a bit personal, sorry

[venus89]

When my daughter was much smaller I made the decision to send her to the local primary school. She's G&T for English - she was reading novels and able to write her own short stories before Reception - but lacked social skills and I want my children to be rounded. The local school is not the best inthe area academically but was friendly and has a huge mix of people - lots of traveller children, for example, which put off a lot of people. Anyway, we've seen lots of good things about the school but over the last couple of years have grown increasing dissatisfied withit. Last year we were looking at trying to get her a scholarship to a local prep school. This year I don't believe that her work is at a standard to achieve even that. And in this instance it's not her - it's the school the teacher, her friends..... So I'm tearing my hair out to a degree feeling awful that I blatantly made the wrong choice for her when I tried to make the right one. She's 9 and I was looking at her homework (he only homework this entire term - to keep a diary. LAst term they had NONE) and she wrot 'It was Josephs birthday and he brung in a cake....' It's full fo language like that, misspelling, and tbh I know I have my part to play in it - I work hard, I'm tired at the end of it, maybe I don't do enough with her at home to help her, but words like brung come straight from the playground and her teacher's not picking her up at all on the grammar, punctuation and spelling.

Anyway, she has an absent (a once a week phonecall, present for birthday and Christmas) who I have never asked for a penny from. And there's a prep school in the next village which charges £4430 per term. I can't squeeze that out of my childminding earnings and my husband's in financial bother so no help in that respect. I don't want to get the CSA involved but I know her father earns a reasonable amount at work and was wondering if anyone can let me know roughly what a maintenance payment might be (perhaps PMing me becuase I know it's a personal question and I do apologise for that) for a child so I can potentially approach him and see if he can at least help wtih fees if it comes to that?

Sorry it's so long winded!

[FizzysFriends]

Maintenance depends on earning, pension contributions, other children (all his) and how many nights spent with him.

If you know all that then is a calculator on the CSA website to tell you what you should get. If you are on speaking terms with him you could try telling him your concerns and see if he is willing to contribute, if he's anything like my ex and doesn't like parting with his money I usually suggest he pays the place direct so he can be sure the money is really going there.

[FizzysFriends]

Just to add for the calcualtion the children don't have to he biologically his, if he has a partner and her children live with them then they are classed as his for the calcualtion.

[sarah707]

CSA will take 15% of income after tax for one child.

So if he earns £30k, they will take off £6k personal allowance, 20% tax (not sure about NI sorry but it's 11% for employed people).

On 30k earnings your daughter should get about £2.5k a year depending on NI.

It is a long, drawn out process made much worse if the person decides they do not want to pay or lies about their earnings or refuses to give CSA information when requested.

On the subject of schools... my 2 didn't go to the 'best' school in town. Now they are in high school and it matters not a jot!

Both are exactly where they should be for their academic ability.

As I remember saying to Tatia (who it's a good idea to pm if she doesn't see this btw) it's not always about who they are with and what they do year by year. Their learning and concentration levels ebb and flow as they grow.

It's more about overall achievement levels and supporting them at home when things appear to be going wrong.

Hth :D

[venus89]

Thank you both - I think if I do speak to him then I may bring it up. I figure it must be nicer for us both if we can do it in a civilised manner than via the CSA. The timing is lousy - he was asking a couple of weeks ago about seeing her, although he's since failed to mention it again even though he was meant to be getting back to me later that week with the details of where and when.....

I know Sarah that they can bounce back it's just that we've had a year and a half now of rubbish teaching from this school and our concerns get largely brushed under the carpet. And when she's going backwards as opposed to forwards then I worry. Isn't that our role as parents, to worry? And being pretty poor we're very conscious that there's a lot we can't provide for our kids. But we can do our best, and that includes giving them a good start. Both my kids are top of the class and always have been due to their natural abilities and the work we put in at home. But if the teacher can't support what I do (and shouldn't it be the other way round?) then maybe it's time to cut my losses and find one who can :(

[teacake2]

Could you look into the possibility of teaching your child at home yourself?
Teacake2

[Cammie Doodle]

Can I just say be careful of moving her on the "hope" of absent father helping with school fees as can you imagine how awful it would be if she went to new school then he stops money , you would have to take your daughter out :panic: . Why not use extra cash to get your child some extra tuition if you feel she would benefit from it.

[youarewhatyoueat]

I would take your concerns up with the school first, ask to see her levels, if she has been classed as g and t there should be some record of progression.
If you get nowhere speak to the governors and shire hall and then ofsted thats what they are there for.
If they are failing your child she won't be the only one, is the school due an inspection, any chance of going into special measures, because dshe will certainly get the chance to excel and be monitored if that happens.
In the meantime I would get some extra tuition,be prepared to pay between 10 and £30 an hour but you it will be helpful to get someone elses opinion on your childs potential, and I would start that now.
When you do go into school keep it official and ask that it is documented as you are going to follow up and would like a regular appointment. Ask to speak to the governer who is responsible for g and t and the curriculum. Don't be fobbed off. good luck