HELP my daughter is missing her dummy

[DIPPY DOUGHNUT]

Hi

Just wanted some ideas as im all out!

My daughter is 2 and a half years old and had a dummy for her mouth and then one she held in her fingers-anyway after a unexpected visit to the dentist we were told that she may of killed the nerves in her two front teeth as she fell twice with the dummy in and its pushed her teeth of of line.

So we both came home and i told her that her dummies had to go because they had hurt her teeth and we collected all her dummies and gave them to the dummy fairy in return she left a present.

She was fine for the first 2 nights now im having really bad problems, shes going to sleep after less then five minutes crying but when she wakes up in the night shes screaming and paddying for upto 3 hours.

I explained to her that the dummy fairy was sad to see her crying in the night so she gave her a teddy to cuddle when she wakes up in the night and wants her dummy.

Well she stoped having them nearly 2 weeks ago and im at my wits end. last night she was paddying from 12.30am-3.30am.

Ive tried comforting her, reading her stories and saying you need to go to sleep as we are doing .... in the morning and what fun that will be really good fun and ive tried just ignoring her! But nothing seems to work :panic:

I really dont know what else to do and am hoping that someone on here can help me :thumbsup:

She used to go to bed at 6.30pm and sleep right though to 06.30am. She can be very stubbon and when i spoke to her this morning about last night she sat there smiling at me and said yes when i told her she wasnt to do the same tonight.

[Tink]

I can't really help as I hate them and never gave my daughter one, I think they're horrible.

Have you tried buying her a toy such as a nice teddy. Take her to the shop and let her chose her own, tell her how fantastic she has been for giving her dummy away and use the teddy as a comforter. Might not work but i'm sure someone who has been in your situation will help you xxx

[sweets]

as she went a couple of nights without it at first i dont think she is really missing it now.. i think she is playing you! she has been given attention by having stories in the middle of the night. personally i would be a bit harder with her and just silently put her back in bed every time she gets out. no stories, no explaining why dummies gone if you need to say something then just say its bedtime now so go to sleep.

[DIPPY DOUGHNUT]

She was really impressed with the toy from the dummy fairy and it was all wrapped up in nice paper!! She couldnt wait to show it to the minded kids and their parents!

The teddy she got to help her sleep from the fairy she loves it, she takes it with her everywhere, its just when she wakes up in the night all she wants is her dummy. She stands/lies/sits there screaming and pulling at her lips.

[Tink]

Your going to have to do the super nanny approach. It will be hard but you need to leave her to cry and let her learn that she can settle herself back to sleep.
She is not hurt she is screaming for you to give in and give her a dummy back, stay strong, it will be hard leaving her to cry but she has to learn.
Good luck xxx

[funtoplay]

Hi,

Just stick with it, it will be worth it!! My daughter had one until last easter. She was 20 months. She used to have one in her mouth and one in each hand to sleep!! We went cold turkey and had a few unsettled nights but she did it and i am really glad we stuck with it!

I think dummies for some children are really useful and they get alot of comfort with it. Like someone else said she is probably using it now as a way to get to you...so manipulative are they!!!

Keep with it, you'll get there!!

[PixiePetal]

I agree with the above posts. She managed a couple of nights so you know she CAN do it :thumbsup:

Be strong - each night should take a little less if you stick with it.

My DD was 2 and half when I had DS. Her dummy disintegrated when DH gave it to her a lot when I was in hospital after having him :rolleyes:
It had to go as soon as I saw it. First night 1 hour screaming etc, second night 40 mins till by the end of a week it was forgotten about. Broke my heart, especially as I had been away and missing her but it had to be done.

Of course she then started biting her nails but that's another story, she is 15 now and we survived.:D

[helenlc]

My son was 2 1/2 when he stopped havong his dummy. He asked for it the first night and once in that first night, then never again.:clapping: We had put it off for ages but it was nowhere near as bad as we were anticipating.

I agree with what has been said before - if she can settle herself to sleep at bed time then she is able to settle herself back to sleep in the night. I would hold off on the talking/comforting etc when she wakes up in the night - just go in and says Its sleeping time. After a few times, just say nothing. This is what we were advised at the sleep clinic for DS (not to do with dummy, just a wotsit at sleeping in general!).

Also, use a reward chart for when she has slept through the night - maybe if she does the next 5 sleeps, Father Christmas will being her something extra extra special.:D

DD didnt have a dummy but sucked her thumb and still does at almost 10!! Its a bit harder to get rid of than the dummy!!!:laughing:

[PixiePetal]

DD didnt have a dummy but sucked her thumb and still does at almost 10!! Its a bit harder to get rid of than the dummy!!!:laughing:

DS sucked his thumb till nearly 9 :panic: Much preferred the dummy - DD only had it for sleep and did not talk with it in, my pet hate :angry:

[DIPPY DOUGHNUT]

Thanks for all your comments.

Ive spent the day telling her that tonight if she crys me and her dad will not becoming into to see her she will just have to go back to sleep!

She keeps saying no, shes stubborn but im even more stubborn!! :laughing:

weve agreed that we wont go in to her tonight if she cries and hopefully by the time it gets to xmas eve she will be back to sleeping from 6.30pm-6.30am fingers crossed.

I can put up with the crying its that she keeps waking up her 3 year old sister so then i have both of them awake and then 2 grumpy girls the next day.

Wish me luck and i will let you know how i get on, thanks for all your help :D

[sarah707]

Trouble is she's now got mummy reading books and chatting in the middle of the night... party time!

It's dreadful listening to them sobbing away but you have to get tough!

The dummy is gone, end of story. The fairy took it

Good luck! :D

[sweets]

good luck and stay strong! :laughing:

[helenlc]

DS sucked his thumb till nearly 9 :panic: Much preferred the dummy - DD only had it for sleep and did not talk with it in, my pet hate :angry:

My DS only had his for sleeping - I stopped him having it during the day when he was about 14 mths old.

[Gizmo]

my eldest gave hers to the easter bunny and got a drum kit for giving it up and my youngest was 20mnths and bit a hole in hers and put it in the bin saying she didnt need it anymore, we had a few nights of it with her asking for it but I was so glad she gave it up herself I cant stand seeing toddlers walking about with them :panic:

[Zoomie]

My DS only had his for sleeping - I stopped him having it during the day when he was about 14 mths old.

how do you get them to give up their thumb ... DD is 25m and it is almost her constant companion :blush:

I've read up that trying to get them to give up needs to be self motivated and that isn't likely to happen for a few year still.

[littlestar]

god! i am dreading this my dd is 2 and a half and the thought of taking this away from her is just dreadfull ive tryed reducing it during the day and we only had it at night time then she got sick and it was back to square one :angry: my dd holds her dummy under her bottom lip it really makes me angry ive tryed the dummy fairy and the your going school soon she is out of nappies and i say dummy needs to go and she says i can put in my bag when at school :littleangel: but i am scared she is gonna do damage to her bottom lip it sticks out or something i will just have to bite the bullet from reading her 2 and a half is the right age :thumbsup:

[~Chelle~]

how do you get them to give up their thumb ... DD is 25m and it is almost her constant companion :blush:

I've read up that trying to get them to give up needs to be self motivated and that isn't likely to happen for a few year still.

It is very hard for them to give up their thumbs as you cant just take them away :laughing:

My don gave up his thumb when he was 4. We had to use a reward chart and every time I saw him with it in his mouth he would have a star taken away but the more he didnt have it in his mouth, he would gain a star which led to a weekly treat of his choice. Within 2 and a bit weeks his thumb sucking days were over :clapping:


As for the dummy. I agree with other posters, you have to be tough and let her cry it out. She will soon see that she is not getting any attention and give up.

My friend made a mistake of giving the dummies back to her daughter, after the dummy fairy took them away :panic: Now her daughter, who is 3, constantly has the thing in her mouth ALLLLLLLLL the time! She also speaks with it in, which is not good for her at all. Her teeth have shaped themselves around the dummy and when she does speak without it in, she lisps!

Hope it all goes well for you x

[madasahatter]

god! i am dreading this my dd is 2 and a half and the thought of taking this away from her is just dreadfull ive tryed reducing it during the day and we only had it at night time then she got sick and it was back to square one my dd holds her dummy under her bottom lip it really makes me angry ive tryed the dummy fairy and the your going school soon she is out of nappies and i say dummy needs to go and she says i can put in my bag when at school but i am scared she is gonna do damage to her bottom lip it sticks out or something i will just have to bite the bullet from reading her 2 and a half is the right age

Find every single dummy you have and destroy all except one. That one will only last a few months as they get old and sticky. Keep on saying that when that dummy gets sticky it'll have to go to the dummy fairy/easter bunny/rudolph/santa (depending on the time of year).
We tried giving the dummy to santa just as DS turned 2, unfortunately after he'd handed over several to Santa, he kept on finding them all over the place (under the bed, in a toy box, inside his pillowcase) Thankfully by the time it got to Easter they'd all gone and it took too nights of screaming at bedtime to sort him out. You definitely have to be very strong and put your supernanny head on. You mustn't give them any attention when they wake in the night, so it might be worth timing it for when you have a few days off so it's not crucial that you get a good nights sleep.

[DIPPY DOUGHNUT]

Just wanted to update you all!

I spent the day telling her that if she cried then mummy and daddy wont be coming in to see her she has to go back to sleep.

The first she was so tired from lack of sleep from the night before that she never woke up!

Then last night she woke saying she had a poohy bum so i went it didnt talk to her checked her nappy which was fine and then left her to scream, she only last about 40minutes so hopefully tonight it will be much less.

Im hoping that this gets sorted before xmas eve as my in laws are coming and i know that my mother in law will find it hard not to go into her and i dont want all my hard work undone.

Thanks for all you comments. :thumbsup:

[sweets]

oh well done you and her, fancy saying she had a dirty nappy, it just shows she is playing you! lol

40 mins not bad, but i bet it felt like longer:panic:

hopefully will soon be settled:D

[helenlc]

Poohy bum - very clever though!!!:laughing:

When my son was a wotsit at sleeping, he used to come up with all sorts to try and get us to go in. Once he had exhausted one excuse, he would move onto another!!

You will just have to explain to your in laws about the progress you have been making and ask that they dont go to her. Maybe suggest that instead they give her loads of praise xmas morning or an extra little pressie for doing so well.

Well done on being so strong and keep going - you are already seeing the benefits.