View Full Version : nasty peaple
I Stopped smoking 7 month ago myDaughter is in UNI she is having a bad time of it The girl,s she lives with are being nasty to her 2 of them dont like her fore her getting better grades than them one wanted the same room so they put there names in a bag my girl won my girl has to work xtra hard to get the grade she needs where the other girls want to party all the time they dont need to study as much I dont want here to have a bad time she is a special needs and ime so proud of her for doing so well now these idiots want to spoil it for her its just i need a cig i feel so stressed out
Daftbat
25-04-2009, 05:33 PM
I understand your feelings but caving in for a fag won't help your daughter.
Keep strong and remember those idiot girls will be the ones who will regret their actions one day. Your daughter is probably worth ten of them and i am sure she will sort things out. I know its hard to stop yuourself trying to fight all their battles for them but you have to step back and let her deal with it.
Have some chocolate instead if it will help - its not quite as bad for you!:thumbsup:
I understand your feelings but caving in for a fag won't help your daughter.
Keep strong and remember those idiot girls will be the ones who will regret their actions one day. Your daughter is probably worth ten of them and i am sure she will sort things out. I know its hard to stop yuourself trying to fight all their battles for them but you have to step back and let her deal with it.
Have some chocolate instead if it will help - its not quite as bad for you!:thumbsup:Thanks Penny i needed that i just dont like to see her so unhappy she was so exited to be going to uni :crying:
madasahatter
25-04-2009, 08:51 PM
Well done to your daughter for getting to uni Tups! and good on you for being such a supportive mum!! There is lots that your daughter can do. Ask your daughter if she has considered talking to the uni welfare people (can't remember what they are called as it is 20 years since I graduated). There will be people on campus who will help your daughter deal with this bullying. They could maybe look into arranging alternative accomodation or even help her come up with strategies for staying strong and being confident enough to challenge their behaviour. No-one should have to put up with intimidation.
I wish you both good luck
And don't give in to the lure of the fags!!!!!
As penny said go for chocolate instead....much much much nicer
Well done to your daughter for getting to uni Tups! and good on you for being such a supportive mum!! There is lots that your daughter can do. Ask your daughter if she has considered talking to the uni welfare people (can't remember what they are called as it is 20 years since I graduated). There will be people on campus who will help your daughter deal with this bullying. They could maybe look into arranging alternative accommodation or even help her come up with strategies for staying strong and being confident enough to challenge their behaviour. No-one should have to put up with intimidation.
I wish you both good luck
And don't give in to the lure of the fags!!!!!
As penny said go for chocolate instead....much much much nicer
That's really kind of you madasahatter your such nice people on this forum I appreciate all your comments it does help :thank you: :thank you:
Mollymop
25-04-2009, 09:35 PM
I hope your daughter has the strength to ignore these bullies. She gets good grades and will do really well at uni and will get a good job and these partying bullies will one day wish that they did as well as your dd. I hope she is not too upset about them. Tell her she is better than them and we are all behind her (even though she doesn't know us!)
If you wanna have a cig it is all up to you. xx
ORKSIE
25-04-2009, 09:49 PM
Dont let these girls get to you and your daughter.
Stay strong for each other.
Sending loads of hugs to you both.
I gave up 5 years ago!
Its not easy and you are doing so well, dont give up now, stay strong:)
Thank you all so much i feel so much better she will make it she wants it so bad my dd sends :thank you: :thank you: :thank you: to you all
Pipsqueak
25-04-2009, 10:11 PM
You and your daughter are obviously fighters in life, what a clever girl to get to uni and have good grades and well done you for staying of the ciggies. Neither of you give in now.:thumbsup:
As Mad suggests there are people on campus who can help your daughter out one way or another, hopefully your daughter will feel like she can approach them.
What these girls are doing is bullying plain and simple and its about time they grew up.
Instead of having a ciggie or even choccie (I would go for the choccie!! lol) have a yap to us instead - will keep your hands busy and your mind occupied at least:D
christine e
26-04-2009, 07:19 AM
I was going to suggest she tries and sorts out a change of accommodation but in reality there is not a lot of term time left so maybe it would be better to concentrate on sorting out her living arrangments for the start of the next academic year now. Has she friends that she would be more suited to sharing with?
Cx
PS Be strong and keep off the fags!
Ive never had so much support in my life not even from my own family as i have from this forum thank you so much to you all :group hug: :clapping: My dd coming home in june till september I wii keep you up dated :thumbsup:
christine e
26-04-2009, 09:48 AM
Ive never had so much support in my life not even from my own family as i have from this forum thank you so much to you all :group hug: :clapping: My dd coming home in june till september I wii keep you up dated :thumbsup:
That is what we are here for. Please try and be strong you have done so well by not smoking for 7 months don't cave in now if you start to crave one start chatting on the forum instead and offload your worries.
Best of luck
Cx
littletreasures
26-04-2009, 10:07 AM
Is she going to be living with them next year or is there a possibility she could find somewhere else.
My daughter is just coming to the end of her 2nd year at uni. Her first year she lived on campus in a flat shared with 6 other students. She hit it off with one girl and they are now sharing a house this year.
The others in the flat were inconsiderate so and so's. Always out till 1 or 2 am and when they came in would be so noisy she was woken up. They would even bang on her door to make sure she was woken or start playing their music at full volume. She complained to the caretakers and they came and had a word saying the flat underneath them had complained so they didn't know it was her. They were so helpful. She couldn't wait to get out of there.
This year she has shared a house with 5 other people. Not her first choice but one of them was her friend from last year. Unfortunately, this has not been good either. It is left to Sam and her friend to take the rubbish out, clean and tidy up. Luckily Sam has the loft room with an ensuite, because you wouldn't like to know what the bathroom and toilet are left like. Her friend has to clean the bath before she even thinks of getting in it. The kitchen is always left in a state and her shelves in the fridge and freezer are always filled with the other students food so leaving no room for Sams.
Next year (her final year) she is moving into a 3 bedroomed house with her friend from this year and another close friend of theirs. They can't wait. They have already talked about cleaning rotas etc. They have the same interests and none go out drinking or have late nights.
Your daughter sounds very strong and as she so wants to be at Uni she will get through this. There is help out there for her. She must let those people know how horrible these girls are being and make sure they realise it is not trivial stuff that she can ignore any more. Get her to talk to the welfare about other options, moving into a different house etc.
Good luck to her, she sounds a strong girl. She is nearly at the end of her first year, which is hard anyway as she has to get used to being away from home and doing things for herself.
I wish you well. Sorry for the long post
Is she going to be living with them next year or is there a possibility she could find somewhere else.
My daughter is just coming to the end of her 2nd year at uni. Her first year she lived on campus in a flat shared with 6 other students. She hit it off with one girl and they are now sharing a house this year.
The others in the flat were inconsiderate so and so's. Always out till 1 or 2 am and when they came in would be so noisy she was woken up. They would even bang on her door to make sure she was woken or start playing their music at full volume. She complained to the caretakers and they came and had a word saying the flat underneath them had complained so they didn't know it was her. They were so helpful. She couldn't wait to get out of there.
This year she has shared a house with 5 other people. Not her first choice but one of them was her friend from last year. Unfortunately, this has not been good either. It is left to Sam and her friend to take the rubbish out, clean and tidy up. Luckily Sam has the loft room with an ensuite, because you wouldn't like to know what the bathroom and toilet are left like. Her friend has to clean the bath before she even thinks of getting in it. The kitchen is always left in a state and her shelves in the fridge and freezer are always filled with the other students food so leaving no room for Sams.
Next year (her final year) she is moving into a 3 bedroomed house with her friend from this year and another close friend of theirs. They can't wait. They have already talked about cleaning rotas etc. They have the same interests and none go out drinking or have late nights.
Your daughter sounds very strong and as she so wants to be at Uni she will get through this. There is help out there for her. She must let those people know how horrible these girls are being and make sure they realise it is not trivial stuff that she can ignore any more. Get her to talk to the welfare about other options, moving into a different house etc.
Good luck to her, she sounds a strong girl. She is nearly at the end of her first year, which is hard anyway as she has to get used to being away from home and doing things for herself.
I wish you well. Sorry for the long post thanks my daughter has lots of friends at home a very happy girl they wake her up at 3 and 4 in the morning these nasty ones take her food talk about her when they no she can hear them next term shes in a house with 5 girls they seem o k. but my girls found out one of them is friends with one of the nasty ones iv,e told her not to take any more sh>>>>>>>>>t of anyone :angry: will see what happens