Back chat!

[mumofone]

What do you do (or have you ever) when you get back chat from a mindee? I have one at the minute who is getting a bit cocky, likes to question me on the ins and outs of my day (not in a nice way!). How do you reply politely whilst letting them know NOT to cross the line?! Which brings me on to my next topic...what age is a good cut off for looking after children (5+ im talking about here)?

[Ellisha]

Just wanted to say I feel for you. I had a mindee like that a few years ago, who thought they were always right no matter what. I never worked out what to do about it! Good luck.

[Mouse]

What do you do (or have you ever) when you get back chat from a mindee? I have one at the minute who is getting a bit cocky, likes to question me on the ins and outs of my day (not in a nice way!). How do you reply politely whilst letting them know NOT to cross the line?! Which brings me on to my next topic...what age is a good cut off for looking after children (5+ im talking about here)?

How old are they?

I tend to look into their situation a bit first to see if there's a reason for their behaviour. Are they being spoken to like that? Do they hear someone talking like that? Or do they just need to learn a few manners? If it's a school child you sometimes find someone is treating them unkindly at school so they try out that behaviour out on you once they're out of school. Or if they hear one parent talking to the other in that manner, they think it's natural and will copy what they've heard. Or they're trying out a new attitude and they need to be told it's not working!

Whatever the reason, you don't have to accept being spoken to like that. If the polite approach hasn't worked, I'd forget that and go for a direct approach. Each time they say something you don't like, tell them it's rude (what they've said is rude, not that they're rude) and you don't like to be spoken to like that. Maybe repeat it back to them so they know how it sounds to the other person. At the end of the day you're teaching them how to be a polite human being, so don't worry about them not liking being told. In the long run you're doing them a favour!

As for what age you want to stop caring for children, that's up to you and how you work. I know a lot of people love having the older children, but I'm set up for younger ones and don't like having school children here. They just upset our whole routine! If children have been with me a while I will have them through the holidays during reception year, but after that I explain to parents that they'd be better off with someone or somewhere that's geared up to look after older children.

[Dragonfly]

I would just be straight to the point and say never mind what I’ve done/doing let’s concentrate on you. I had children up to and in year 6 all my childminding years ( a lot of years) I’ve now decided to have a break from school children. So only having preschool.
I won’t go back to having them so old now, parenting has changed and I find children now seem to rule the roost so to speak.

[Pixie dust]

I do find once they start going to school they do have a change in behaviour, I do have children up to year 6 but I have made a conscious decision to only have school ones that have been with me from the start as they know whats expected of them here. It was a sliver lining of lockdown not having the older ones.

[loocyloo]

Pixie ... I quite agree .... I much prefer my schoolies to have been with me before going to school! That said ... I have a pair of siblings that started 2 yrs ago ... for a 6 week temporary contract! They've settled so well and are still here!
I have recently taken on another pair of schoolie siblings .... this is harder, but a firm hand and voice, and I'm moulding them to my way of thinking! ... manners, being kind, speaking quietly and treating my house, furniture and toys with respect! I did know the older child from volunteering in school and my friend had taught the younger one .... but I wouldn't take on 'unknown' schoolies. I usually keep them until yr 5/6; depending on what they like doing! ( but I don't generally have schoolies in the holidays! )

I'm also 'point of contact' for older siblings, and also assorted neighbours children who have gone to secondary school, but will be 'home alone' after school. I very rarely have anyone knock on my door, but they are all told they are welcome to come by for a biscuit if they need to! I think it reassures the parents more.

[Pixie dust]

I'm also 'point of contact' for older siblings, and also assorted neighbours children who have gone to secondary school, but will be 'home alone' after school. I very rarely have anyone knock on my door, but they are all told they are welcome to come by for a biscuit if they need to! I think it reassures the parents more.


Me too....but only had one knock once and come in a wait for his mum to get home .

[Dragonfly]

Being a Point of contact is lovely and so reassuring for the parent I imagine. I have had that over the years and don’t mind children turning up at my door.

[Maza]

It is lovely isn't it Dragonfly. I've never heard of it before.

[Dragonfly]

Yes it is. I’m well known in the village as a Childminder and at the local school. It’s a privilege really.

[loocyloo]

Yes it is. I’m well known in the village as a Childminder and at the local school. It’s a privilege really.

I feel the same. X