Newly registered - parent coming home to see me, won’t tell me what time?

[Daisydoo1]

Hi all,
I’m hoping someone could give me some advice.
I am newly registered and I have a parent coming to see me today, but when I asked her what time she is coming, she ignores my message, but has answered a different message I had sent in relation to something else I asked her. So I think she is going to come but not tell me what time? Is this something which parents do?

I had someone come visit couple of weeks ago, and she did something similar. I just felt a bit weird about it.
Please could you help, x

[FussyElmo]

Welcome to the forum

Personally I would be sending a message again asking her to confirm the time she wishes to meet. I have never had a parent turn up without a time explain you don't stay in all day.

[bunyip]

IHMO cellphone messaging systems hinder proper communication because they allow people to do precisely what this mum is doing: ie communicate on their terms and ignore what they wish to ignore.

Stop messaging (and when did that become a verb? :huh: ) and 'phone her, so you can have some proper dialogue.

If that’s not possible, then you tell her the precise time that you will be available for the appointment, and suggest she calls you back if she needs to discuss an alternative time. If she then just turns up at whatever time suits her then, regrettably, you are unavailable but happy to make a proper appointment for a future date.

I hope the following isn’t patronising. As a new CM, you are a wee bit exposed and vulnerable to every moron and P-taker who likes the idea of a service-provider who may be all too willing to please in order to get your business off the ground. Hopefully, you should already be hearing the deafening clang of alarm bells. If this mum can’t make and keep her first appointment, take it as a warning. How reliable will she be in terms of drop off and pick up times? Will she pay on time? How demanding will she be? How well will she communicate? Will she ignore your messages when her child vomits and needs collecting? (Yes, some parents really will leave you in it, rather than leave work early for their own sick child.)

I’m not saying this is necessarily the client from hell, but do exercise caution, and never feel you have to take everyone who comes along.

[Daisydoo1]

Thank you for your responses.
The red flags went up, and it was really bugging me,so I just wanted to know whether this was normal in the Childminding world. So it’s good to know it’s not.
The lady messaged me on Facebook, so I replied on there. You are right though it’s much easier getting the info you need via phone calls.

[loocyloo]

I had a mum at school say she wanted me to care for her child, but she wouldn't commit to making a time to see me. A few weeks later I had just got 3 children suited and booted to go out for the morning, as I opened the door, this mum was there and said "I keep coming round and you are never in" I said, sorry, but the children are expecting a trip to the woods, and so, if you'd like to make a time to see me, I can make sure we're in! She huffed, we arranged a time the following week and then she cancelled .. because " you are out all the time and not at home looking after the children " I explained that I was out offering the children a multitude of experiences and that I was often at home, and that my current families always knew where to find me!

[Maza]

Gosh loocyloo, what a cheek!

Daisydoo1, welcome to the forum!

[bunyip]

I had a mum at school say she wanted me to care for her child, but she wouldn't commit to making a time to see me. A few weeks later I had just got 3 children suited and booted to go out for the morning, as I opened the door, this mum was there and said "I keep coming round and you are never in" I said, sorry, but the children are expecting a trip to the woods, and so, if you'd like to make a time to see me, I can make sure we're in! She huffed, we arranged a time the following week and then she cancelled .. because " you are out all the time and not at home looking after the children " I explained that I was out offering the children a multitude of experiences and that I was often at home, and that my current families always knew where to find me!

I’m amused by her implication that you can only be "looking after the children" if you’re at home. What does she think you do: leave them in the woods while you go shopping? :huh:

[BallyH]

I was out over the weekend and bumped into 2 of my current mums. After a long chat, mainly them telling me how wonderful I am - rose coloured glasses from Pinot Grigioooo, one of them commented that she felt I interviewed her on her first visit to my home. The other mum agreed. But both said they felt very relieved that they'd met my standards when I offered them a space afterwards. (I always tell parents I'm also seeing other families and I'll let them know). So please don't under sell yourself. Best of luck.

[BallyH]

I had a mum at school say she wanted me to care for her child, but she wouldn't commit to making a time to see me. A few weeks later I had just got 3 children suited and booted to go out for the morning, as I opened the door, this mum was there and said "I keep coming round and you are never in" I said, sorry, but the children are expecting a trip to the woods, and so, if you'd like to make a time to see me, I can make sure we're in! She huffed, we arranged a time the following week and then she cancelled .. because " you are out all the time and not at home looking after the children " I explained that I was out offering the children a multitude of experiences and that I was often at home, and that my current families always knew where to find me!

lucky escape I'd say

[Kiddleywinks]

I was out over the weekend and bumped into 2 of my current mums. After a long chat, mainly them telling me how wonderful I am - rose coloured glasses from Pinot Grigioooo, one of them commented that she felt I interviewed her on her first visit to my home. The other mum agreed. But both said they felt very relieved that they'd met my standards when I offered them a space afterwards. (I always tell parents I'm also seeing other families and I'll let them know). So please don't under sell yourself. Best of luck.

I had something very similar recently.
I've just lost practically all my kids due to various changes in parents circumstances, and this has meant that I have a lot of time available and a limited amount of available parents in my area (that's pretty much non lol) but loads of parents wanting care 'outside' of my area but still within a 5 mile mile radius.
I was chatting to another minder who is always busy, and her argument was that she'll take anyone, from any area, and will offer pick up and drop offs if it means securing the work.
Highly admirable in many ways, and she is a lovely minder, but, as one of my parents that had to leave pointed out, one of the reasons she chose me was because she could see I pick and choose who best fits the setting rather than grabs all and sundry :laughing::laughing:

Whilst it is a compliment in many ways, it don't pay the bills does it?!?!?! :laughing::laughing: