TLC needed

[Hatchlings]

Need a little tlc- I have cared for a child who been with me for almost 3 years mum messaged me today to say she was starting pre-school in January its a private school that takes pre- school age 3 yrs from day after there birthday. I was totally shocked the next part of the message & this has also been put on a couple of friends fb pages who use me : Hi all i just wanted to share this we just been to ****** pre school & i know you take your children to angie however this pre school It was fab! very structured including learning French, swimming lessons etc included. You can use the 15 hours there for free We are going to move ******* there in jan as seems better. :angry::angry::angry:

I would not be so worryed if it was not on facebook as well i want to reply to say i have it but it i reply now think i say something i regreat as i dont take swimming as i have 3 most days under 5 yrs & i dont do a laungage as i think they can learn english first if its there home first launguage which in this home thats all the parents can speak is english why she need learn french at 3 yrs old :angry::angry::angry:

[Maza]

Oh my goodness. Big hugs. The child leaving is one thing, but the FB message is below the belt. I am not surprised you are sad and angry. I would advertise for someone new and then give notice as soon as you fill her space. You absolutely do not need to justify why you don't do French or swimming. Some people just prefer that type of set up when the children are older, and that's their choice, but the FB thing, grrrrr. I would be tempted to say something along the lines of "the message that you put on FB has been brought to my attention and I am very hurt by it. I would appreciate it if you could remove it as it is potentially harmful to my business."

Big hugs. xxx

[shortstuff]

how horrid for you. I think a strongly worded message to the parent is very called for.

hugs to you x

[clareelizabeth1]

Bless you what a horrible thing for them to do. Definitely send them the reply Maza suggested its well worded.

I feel sorry for the children that much structure at 3 is not good for them.

[Ripeberry]

How horrid! Sounds like the mum is wanting little........ to keep his or her friends at the new pre-school. You might find that the other parents will be glad that they are leaving! :angry:

[Mouse]

How horrible. It can come as a bit of a shock when parents give notice out of the blue, but you certainly wouldn't expect them to then go on Facebook and try to lure your other parents away.

I think I would acknowledge mum's text and ask her to put the notice in writing. If you could afford it and if it's something you want to do, I would consider giving 4 week's notice now and advertise the space immediately. I would feel it justified when she has tried to harm your business.
I would also ask her to remove her comments on Facebook.

:group hug:

[BallyH]

Wow. Very hurtful thiingto do by putting it on fb. Maza and Mouse's advice is excellant. Ask her to remove the message &, if you can (I'd starve for the month), give her notice. Am very annoyed for you!!

[Tealady]

Well let's hope the pre-school department are more nurturing than the ones near me. I had a child who left me for such a place. It was a horrid horrid experience for him and his family. Really affected his learning, development and self esteem.

[Tealady]

Hugs to you though. Those comments are awful.

[mama2three]

I think I would raise the issue with the other parents tbh. I would just say that you had seen the facebook post and that you hope that the nurturing care you provide is much more appropriate for their children at this age than structure or French lessons! Id throw a bit of additional research in if they were that kind of parent , and add in quotes from the good and relevant bits of your ofsted report too.

[Evie125]

Big hugs to you- a lot of good advice given. I would definitely be letting the mum know how underhand and hurtful I found her actions and asking for the comment to be removed. I think I too would bring this up with your other parents, a lot of children of this age would not want to sit through French lessons and would switch off- I'm sure you have found your self that most children would much rather be covered in mud outdoors!! In fact most of the training I have attended has encouraged open ended imaginative/creative play not sitting at desks. Also, just because a child turns 3 they do not automatically qualify for funding- there are set dates you can claim from eg January birthday would be April from memory.....x

[k1rstie]

I agree that she should not have posted her message on Facebook. Playing devils advocate - do you offer 'free early years funding'? I think many parents think about changing providers so they can access their funding entitlement.

[Hatchlings]

I agree that she should not have posted her message on Facebook. Playing devils advocate - do you offer 'free early years funding'? I think many parents think about changing providers so they can access their funding entitlement.

i have offered it & been 2gether funded also for over 1 yr & she knows

[Hatchlings]

Well let's hope the pre-school department are more nurturing than the ones near me. I had a child who left me for such a place. It was a horrid horrid experience for him and his family. Really affected his learning, development and self esteem.

its such a same when it effects the child

[Hatchlings]

A big thank you for your support i did message her she wont take the message down as she said she not said anything wrong but did edit to take away the its better words ha she also asked me to take the new baby from jan so she can go back to work ( they will be 4 months old as born last week ) i just said i was going to have to think about it due to age etc. its so hard to heard after 3 years of caring for her child she not happy to keep her but send her new baby to me oh the joys of our job & parents who dont get it. :panic::panic::panic:

[loocyloo]

A big thank you for your support i did message her she wont take the message down as she said she not said anything wrong but did edit to take away the its better words ha she also asked me to take the new baby from jan so she can go back to work ( they will be 4 months old as born last week ) i just said i was going to have to think about it due to age etc. its so hard to heard after 3 years of caring for her child she not happy to keep her but send her new baby to me oh the joys of our job & parents who dont get it. :panic::panic::panic:

I am so cross and upset for you, and I would be just as upset myself, but parents don't always see that we see this as a 'personal' job, they see us in the same light as a nursery/school etc, who have children/staff coming and going all the time. It shows she still thinks you are great, because she has asked you to take babe.

well, I would be cutting nose off to spite my face, but would be saying no to the new baby !!! of course - under the 'continuity of care, then you would have space/be able to take babe as a sibling.

OR I would be introducing new fees for NEW children that are higher, but of course-siblings attending start at the current attending siblings rate!

IF you did take babe on, I would be asking her to edit her post/add something to say, that she was/still is, impressed by the care you provide, and that is why you will be looking after her new babe ....

good luck xxx

[Mouse]

A big thank you for your support i did message her she wont take the message down as she said she not said anything wrong but did edit to take away the its better words ha she also asked me to take the new baby from jan so she can go back to work ( they will be 4 months old as born last week ) i just said i was going to have to think about it due to age etc. its so hard to heard after 3 years of caring for her child she not happy to keep her but send her new baby to me oh the joys of our job & parents who dont get it. :panic::panic::panic:

I wonder if the nursery offers any incentive to parents if they recommend a friend? Perhaps mum will benefit if she gets other families signed up!

And I wonder what will happen during the holidays? Will the child still be able to attend the nursery? Will parents have to pay? Or will they be looking for holiday care from you?

Personally, I would say mum is welcome to ask you nearer the time about taking on the baby, but that you do have other parents interested. Then nearer the time you can decide whether or not you want to keep working with the family.

As for the FB message, I would be tempted to send a letter to the other parents saying how disappointed you are that one of your parents has suggested they take their children elsewhere, but you would like to reassure them that you will continue to provide your home based setting which you feel is best for the young children who have plenty of years ahead of them to be in an educational institution!

[BallyH]

Oh, I think I'd be on tender hooks if I took the baby on. Like when will she think the baby is ready for the new nursery? When it's babbled 'da da' and she's read somewhere that babies learn 2 languages quickly, French and English if in the same environment.

I wonder to what extent they teach French. Is it a nursery worker reading french phrases at 'circle time' or do they have bilingual staff?

When reading these posts I always try to think what I would do in the posted situations. At the moment every Thursday I take 3 eyfs children to their swimming lesson. Paid by parents. I do not go in the pool. It is classed as a 'stage 1' lesson. I sit in the viewing gallery and wave. Bliss. But it is hard work getting 3 changed and dressed and then dried. It my second time offering this service in 10 years of working. I know everyone isn't in the position to do the same but I also know I've kept 2 of the eyfs children because of it. Plus 2 years ago I had a beautiful little boy, for 2 years before he left for school whose dad was French. So I sourced a child friendly cd for car journeys. Many cd's later I've got a wonderful french/english cd filled with songs, numbers, colours etc and my mindess listen to it on nearly every journey.

So am I now qualified to advertise I teach french and do swimming lessons? So if you can't beat them play them at their game, if you want/can.

But I still feel very cross for you! Big hugs.

[Lal]

I'd be cross too :mad:

The two private school nurseries near us charge a lot for extra hours and one runs it EYE session 3-6pm each day. Parents can use their funding at any time, but during normal hrs they pay £2 per funded hr for 'enhanced' provision.

I very much doubt they will offer everything without extra cost.

[Mouse]

I'd be cross too :mad:

The two private school nurseries near us charge a lot for extra hours and one runs it EYE session 3-6pm each day. Parents can use their funding at any time, but during normal hrs they pay £2 per funded hr for 'enhanced' provision.

I very much doubt they will offer everything without extra cost.

I was thinking the same. I really doubt everything will be free as they won't even be getting funding straight away if lo has only just turned 3.

If mum really believes the nursery is the best place for her child there's not much you can do about that. I do actually think that a nursery setting is better for some children, although not all of them, so I don't blame parents when they decide to use a nursery.

What I would really object to though is the FB comment. That's totally uncalled for :mad:

[watford wizz]

I think what this parent has done is awful and I would not be taking on new baby as she has broken your trust, confidentiality is suppose to go two ways. You would not Facebook what a xxxxx negative family traits X big hugs xx

[blue bear]

If nursery is so much. Better ask them to take it he baby, I'd be absolutely gutted and to be honest I'd be giving them their four weeks notice with the option of finishing earlier with no notice period if they agreed. For her to say she can't see what she has done wrong and won't take it down means she has no idea of the quality she has in you.

[SYLVIA]

What a very hurtful and unkind thing to do to you. I would be saying no to the new baby saying that if the nursery is a better choice of setting in her opinion you'd rather not start care knowing that the child wld be moved in a few years which you feel is unsettling for all concerned. I would also have to say something about how her Facebook comment has made you feel