Advice please

[Jenny2]

Have just started and have 1 mindee for 3 days a week , so have 2 more spaces I have a mum who is very interested In starting her child in May who'll be 8 months , and too be honest he's really gorgeous and I want him , but didn't want to pay a retainer of £400 as I would be losing 4 months income. She has asked me to let her know if another family are interested before they sign the dotted line , so she can possibly get in before them , and I have said I would adding that I did already have a lady coming to see me in a few weeks with twins (true) , since yesturday it's been manic , a mum is coming on Friday with her husband and child for a second visit and I'm 99% sure they'll say yes , and a neighbour is coming with her baby for a poss may start , and another lady is coming for her son . Of course I need the work but I don't want to lose the little baba ??? I haven't told mum about the three coming as I don't feel that I should tell her every time someone is viewing my setting. What would you do ??

[Mouse]

I would say put your business head on and don't be swayed by a cute baby! Mum may be very keen now, but 4 months is a long time away and a lot can happen between now & then. Even if she did pay a retainer she may change her mind before May and you could end up losing out.

See all the parents, find out who wants a place first and then decide which children and families are likely to fit in better with everyone else.

[Jenny2]

Good advice your right

[bunyip]

Have just started and have 1 mindee for 3 days a week , so have 2 more spaces I have a mum who is very interested In starting her child in May who'll be 8 months , and too be honest he's really gorgeous and I want him , but didn't want to pay a retainer of £400 as I would be losing 4 months income. She has asked me to let her know if another family are interested before they sign the dotted line , so she can possibly get in before them , and I have said I would adding that I did already have a lady coming to see me in a few weeks with twins (true) , since yesturday it's been manic , a mum is coming on Friday with her husband and child for a second visit and I'm 99% sure they'll say yes , and a neighbour is coming with her baby for a poss may start , and another lady is coming for her son . Of course I need the work but I don't want to lose the little baba ??? I haven't told mum about the three coming as I don't feel that I should tell her every time someone is viewing my setting. What would you do ??

I can sympathise and yet see both sides of this.

Being expected to commit to parents who won't is just one very irritating facet of the job. This is the time of year my phone goes mad with calls from anxious mums who've just put in their school applications. They want me to promise to hold guaranteed places for school runs, yet the Admissions Board doesn't determine the placements for another 3 months and the mums can't be sure which days they'll need, "due to possible changes at work" etc. :(

Tbf, I think mum's request for 'first refusal' on the place is perfectly sensible. Personally, I've never charged a retainer. I think too many CMs use retainers as a bit of a cash cow whilst not bothering to try to fill a temporary gap (or charge them on a space that isn't really a space at all :mad: .) I would not be comfortable charging a retainer unless it were the very last space I had available, and somebody else was ready to step into it immediately. However, I have been stung too hard and too often by parents who've had me hold a place on little more than a promise, only to walk away with a smiling insincere apology, so I now charge 'reservation deposits' of the sort that parents won't (I hope) throw away lightly.

I think Mouse is correct. The first priority is to get the right child, the right parents and the right overall arrangement.

It frequently comes as a shock to parents to discover we are 'interviewing' them just as much as they are 'interviewing' us. It's the moment just before they leave, they say, "well, we'll let you know..." and I say "well, I'll be having a think, and I'll let you know if I'm able to offer you a place...." It does provoke quite an expression on Ma and Pa's faces sometimes. I know a lot of CMs fail to grasp this idea of enquiries being a 2way street: especially those who swallow the idea that we have to be 'positive' all the time to attract business.

[Maza]

Great advice already given. Bunyip, I couldn't agree more about parents not realising it is a two way interview!!! I think it absolutely knocks them for six when they realise it! I once had a family give me two of the most intense interviews of my life. I was honestly drained for the rest of the day after their two visits, where they stayed for a lot longer than they should have done and then started grilling my husband too (he doesn't work with me but it was the weekend and so he was home). She also asked too many questions about my DD as if she was assessing whether she was a good enough playmate for her little boy (who was also very cute and cuddly). They decided that they were very keen. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when she read my ever so polite email turning them down.

[watford wizz]

Parent/carer expectations are funny at times, this week I had a new parent leave me a long message about what she wanted, when she wanted to start, what her child was like. When I rang back to say sorry I don't have any space she announced "oh my xxxx what on earth am I going to do now??" I pointed her toward pacey parent help and gave her numbers of other minders. Nice to know I'm in demand but couldn't help smile at her complete misunderstanding.