The 4 types of parenting styles...link to child development

[Simona]

Which one are you?

Do you find out about your parents' styles when looking at sharing behaviour strategies for children in your setting?

The Four Types of Parenting Styles - Section 04 and 05 F11 PSY 1001 (http://blog.lib.umn.edu/meyer769/myblog/2011/11/the-four-types-of-parenting-styles.html)

The Attached Family » The 4 Parenting Styles: What Works and What Doesn’t (http://theattachedfamily.com/?p=2151)

[Bumble Beez]

Thanks Simona...very interesting and useful :)

I am Authoritative!

Sarah x

[MessybutHappy]

I guess I'm a bit of both authoritatian and authoritive, the parents I mind for are a bit authoritative and a bit permissive (in my eyes!). My Dh is probably leaning towards permissive too... anything for the quiet life!

[Cinnamon Sugar]

I guess I'm a bit of both authoritatian and authoritive, the parents I mind for are a bit authoritative and a bit permissive (in my eyes!). My Dh is probably leaning towards permissive too... anything for the quiet life!

I'm a bit of both Authoritative and oh dear a little Authoritarian! Will try harder to lean further towards the first :-)
I suppose I just find it hard to explain why for the umpteenth time it is dangerous to spin around on my curtains and would actually rather they JUST DON"T DO IT!! Ha Ha :-)

[Simona]

You will be aware that a recent study has been published about children in day nurseries having behavioural problems or even acquiring ADHD

Children who spend time in nurseries 'more likely to develop behavioural problems' - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10384281/Children-who-spend-time-in-nurseries-more-likely-to-develop-behavioural-problems.html)

I personally believe this is a sweeping statement and another way of labelling children
We know that children can have a raised level of cortisol when attending daycare due to stress...this is specially true in babies as well reported in 'Why love matters?' by Sue Gerhardt

I also think, my view of course and also personal experience, that there are many children who experience stress in their own family environment, maybe they live in families with little structure or parents having personal problems, or there may be financial worries, or a constant push to compete and perform and maybe those parents have different parenting styles?

In those circumstances children will arrive at nursery confused by what the message is when the nursery may apply a consistent approach that differs from the parents' own

I wonder what you think the solution could be?

[MessybutHappy]

There is no "solution". We must all carry on being the best we can be for the children in our care, based on the information we have to hand. And just as parents parent differently, so child respond differently to how we care. We all have grumpy days, chilled out days, stressful days, tired days... us and the kids! All we can do is try to make time to reflect and review, be honest and make changes if necessary.

[Simona]

There is no "solution". We must all carry on being the best we can be for the children in our care, based on the information we have to hand. And just as parents parent differently, so child respond differently to how we care. We all have grumpy days, chilled out days, stressful days, tired days... us and the kids! All we can do is try to make time to reflect and review, be honest and make changes if necessary.

Parenting styles cannot be changed as we cannot change our behaviour management but could parents and provider not alter their approach slightly and find a shared strategy that benefits the child?

In a situation where the child is finding the different methods confusing and where challenging behaviour is apparent maybe a review and an attempt to find a solution could only be beneficial?...behaviour management is one of the Welfare Requirements...to what extend can we ignore challenging behaviour that may cause distress to a child and may interfere with his/her progress?

[MessybutHappy]

Parenting styles cannot be changed as we cannot change our behaviour management but could parents and provider not alter their approach slightly and find a shared strategy that benefits the child?

In a situation where the child is finding the different methods confusing and where challenging behaviour is apparent maybe a review and an attempt to find a solution could only be beneficial?...behaviour management is one of the Welfare Requirements...to what extend can we ignore challenging behaviour that may cause distress to a child and may interfere with his/her progress?

But we can, and I do, change my behavior management to suit the child and occasion. Of course I speak with the parents to try to understand why the child is behaving in a particular way, but if they choose not to share, or choose to make light of something, or perhaps don't realise the significance of a situation or event, well then I can only work with what I do know, am told, and through trial and error work out a way through. I do tell parents what's worked and what hasn't. I also read between the lines, observe and have my suspicions, all of which rumble around and inform my actions and comments! My aim is always to provide a safe, secure, calm environment for the child, and if that means ignoring some challenging behaviors so as not to inflame a situation then so be it. I may even suggest to parents that they do the same & they may say they will, but that doesn't mean actually do it.

[The Juggler]

I guess I'm a bit of both authoritatian and authoritive, the parents I mind for are a bit authoritative and a bit permissive (in my eyes!). My Dh is probably leaning towards permissive too... anything for the quiet life!

i'd like to think I'm authoritive but sure I border on authoritarian sometimes when the kids have been playing up :blush:

[jadavi]

These groupings are too general and annoying!!

I am permissive but set boundaries (sometimes discovered together) and certainly have expectations!!

[Simona]

These groupings are too general and annoying!!

I am permissive but set boundaries (sometimes discovered together) and certainly have expectations!!

Yes...while most parents say they belong to one category they actually are in 2
I did a research at Uni for this very subject and it was fascinating...in my questionnaire most parents said they were 'authoritative' while leaning towards 'permissive' or even 'authoritarian'

What was very interesting is that most of them said they had the same style but used it differently
oh!!! it did cause a lot of confusion with children but helped an awful lot when we set the same rules and boundaries for behaviour.
It made an impact on the children and the behaviour improved
The only problem was that I was able to use consistency but the parents forgot to do the same ...so we had to revisit the strategies over and over again