New child crying!!

[S Stars]

Hi

I have just had a little girl who is coming up 12 months for her first hour with me without mum. She was fine for the first 40 mins but then started getting upset and crying until she was in such a state I had to call mum back :(
She is coming back again tomorrow, mum is really nervous and emotional about leaving her and I feel this has made it even worse...... Would really appreciate any ideas on best way to move forward
Thanks xxx

[mrs robbie williams]

I'm having this today with a 4m old, first day was fine til lunchtime then screamed for 40mins has finally gone to sleep think she wore herself out :( got 2y old as well who was getting impatient for lunch, dd who is 19 is here and her bf who lives here, asked them to take dogs for walk as dint think I can do buggy, 2yr old walking plus 2 labs (looking after one for a friend other one is mine and used to waiting) but no she can't even do that!! They 'had' to walk to tesco instead. Karma karma karma !!!!!!

[Kiddleywinks]

Aww, I feel your pain! I had 4 x hour settling in sessions planned for a 7 month old and the first 2 didn't go very well at all (you can see my thread here: http://www.childmindinghelp.co.uk/forum/just-members/124540-there-may-trouble-ahead-lol.html)

In my case, it turned out parents had never left the baby with anyone before, so using some of the suggestions from other forum posts, we changed the settling in arrangement to:
* we meet up for 30mins - an hour every day next week, so he recognises me and I'm not such a stranger
* She sleeps in, and then leaves me, the t-shirt
* She starts leaving the room at home, or with dad/other family member, for extended times, building up slowly, so 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins, 30 mins etc
* She gets me a full face picture to keep here (not sure if that's a good idea or not, but sure I've seen it mentioned somewhere)

Today we had major progress, no tears for the whole time here (just over an hour) :clapping:
Baby starts next week so I'm very hopeful now that whilst there may be some tears, it's not going to be all day.

How long do you have till your LO starts properly? Do you have/can you make time to extend the settling in sessions so you're not such a stranger?

[S Stars]

Thank you so much fab advice!!! We have got 3 weeks and am she will be with me 2 days a week 8.30 - 5.30
Think will def try the t shirt idea and see if she will bring her every day for a couple of weeks. She has been left with her aunt etc but mum days she never let's her cry!
Really want it to work! Have also got 2 , 2 year olds here and they really didn't like the screaming!? :(
Wish me luck today!!
Thanks again xx

[Kiddleywinks]

Hope it works for you too!

Get mum to stay for the first few visits if you can, then starting decreasing the time mum stays for.

Good luck :thumbsup:

[smurfette]

Good luck! Been there done that!

[S Stars]

Thank you am just waiting for her to arrive!


:) x

[S Stars]

Well we made the whole hour!!! Mum stayed for first half hour then left and lo cried after about 3 mins! She came to me and asked me to pick her up which I think is positive?
When i put her down she went and sat by the front door and stopped crying but started again if I spoke to her or sat with her so I gave her some toys and left her and she seemed ok with that.
The other little boy I had was picked up early as was poorly, 10 mins before mum came back and she cried again when the door was shut so when mum did come back she had been crying! :(
Mum is very emotional so am hoping she will preserver with it
She is coming back on Thursday so fingers crossed x

[S Stars]

Mum has asked if I will go to her house for an hour ... Has anyone ever done this? Is it a good idea? X

[loocyloo]

I try to see child at home with mum first ( little ones ) and then mum and child come for an hour or so ... Then depending on child ( and mum ) either a quick drop off for 20/30 mins or mum coming for a little bit and leaving child for a little bit.

I'm lucky though, all my recent LOs have been children I see at toddlers and around the place so I am at least familiar to them.

I've just started LO and expected a few issues but it's been fine.

[Kiddleywinks]

Mum has asked if I will go to her house for an hour ... Has anyone ever done this? Is it a good idea? X

We alternate each day, an hour at mine, next day an hour at mums. Its helped us I think :thumbsup: