Advice on new starter

[Fmorris1974]

I am new so apologies if this has already been discussed, I tried to search but couldn't find any help.....

I have been a childminder for 6 years and have a new family starting soon.
They have 2 children, one has settled and is happy having been a regular visitor since april. the family has another child (9 months) who I have asked for setting in sessions since may. The mother has always been reluctant to do so. I am now in a position where I have worked 12 days straight for an hour an day with the baby. I have not charged for these sessions. The child screams constantly and only shows signs of settling when I hold them. As I care for other children also, I do not feel I can carry a child around constantly.

I feel I have offered the family numerous opportunities to settle the baby over the last 3 months and now the mothers start date at work is approaching I feel I have no choice but to accept the child. The impact this is having on my family life is not great. I'm not sleeping and my husband is concerned about the time I have given to the family. In all the years I have settled children in I have never experienced this reaction. I have been honest with the mother and said I do not feel my environment is suitable for her family (awful to admit defeat, but have to consider the welfare of all the children within my care).

Any advice or assistance anyone can offer me would be grateful received. Do I admit defeat and accept I am not right, or battle on hoping the baby settles. The mother seems happy that her baby is in a safe environment as does not seem to understand why I am not happy to have a screaming child. I have tried toys from their house, visiting their house, high chair, push chair.......nothing seems to settle the baby.

Many thanks.

[sarah707]

I only ever offer 2 free 1 hour settling in sessions - anything else it charged at my hourly rate ... most babies / children don't need many more than 2 although parents often need a little longer :laughing:

It sounds like you have a little one who is struggling with separation anxiety - 10 months to a year is a common age for this to kick in.

There are lots of ways of supporting the little one - things that smell of mum are often helpful - and making sure home routine is followed. A home visit might be useful to see what happens there.

Hugs xx

[littlebears1009]

I have just had a new baby (8 months) start 2 weeks ago, gave 2 x 2 hour settling sessions free. He was very hard work and screamed all day everyday for the first week and half. However i stuck to a routine and eventually middle of second week and today he has been fantastic. I have a 4 week settling period where i dont have to give notice so during the first week I was giving it until the end of those 4 weeks and if he hadnt settled I was going to terminate. Now i feel completely different and quite chuffed i have managed to settle this constantly screaming baby and hes now a smily happy chappy. Good luck. Do what feels right by you and your family x

[KatieFS]

It's not you personally, so don't take it to heart. Give it a timescale and if baby isn't settled by then I would look to terminate.
What is mum doing at home? If he us being held at home he will expect that with you too. 2-4 weeks is surely long enough to settle most children, so think you've given it a very good shot.. You have to think if the other children, and yourself if you're not sleeping its obvs in your mind too.
Good luck x