Playground begaviour!?

[Becci26]

This is ridiculous and I can't believe I'm stressing about this to the point of needing to advice on this matter!

Dd 8 has a friend, they have been in the same class the last 2 years and regularly have play dates swapping between here and there house.
Mum has always been friendly and we have always got on but not necessarily someone I would say is a friend.

The last few months the play dates are less frequent and dd hasn't been invited to play for ages (can't remember when was last time, possibly jan/ feb), whereas friend has been here a few times since, and I get the feeling that mum is kind of avoiding me at school etc.

Now it doesn't worry me that she hasn't been invited over as happy to do play dates here but don't want people taking the p. they have had lots going on recently so put it down to this.

But the situation is making me feel uncomfortable, mum doesn't make eye contact with me or say hello when I see her although she does stand in a little 'group' away from the other mums. I text mum this morning inviting friend over and asking what days would be good, and on a long shot if friend could do today. Mum replied and said no to today as busy, so I replied and said to let me know when else is good. Nothing. Not heard back, she didn't talk to me at school and it's all a bit weird if i'm honest!
I don't know where I stand, all the friendly pleasantries have disappeared and she just seems to blank me!

I have been wracking my brains but have no idea what's happened and why theres this change in behaviour and it's really getting to me.

Do I speak to her and ask if I've upset her? Seems a bit silly/ petty but equally not good with confrontation should there actually be an issue.

Like I said I know it's ridiculous, and have got much bigger things to be worrying about in life, but I can't shake this off.
Someone give me a virtual slap in the face please!

[clareelizabeth1]

Don't have any advice really but didn't want to read and run. Me being me I would prob just ask her out right. Hope someone else has some advise.

[Nicola Carlyle]

I think this is just typical playground politics. Ive come across it loads of times and whereas I used to worry about it, to be honest now I just don't have the time. It's all very silly and if two adults can't even look at each other without knowing why then i say they need to learn some manners. If I were you I'd just shake it off and forget about it. X

[Becci26]

It's crazy, just because its at school doesn't mean people have to act like children!

But I would like to point out that I do and can look said mum in the eye!!
I am far too old for this and have got far too much other stuff going on to even be stressing about it, but for some reason can't shake it off, I hate people thinking bad of me especially when I have no idea why!

[mama2three]

You dont know that she ''thinks bad of you''.

It sounds to me like she just feels guilty that shes not reciprocating and having your son over - you said she has a lot on. Its not as if shes throwing funny looks or appearing to 'talk about you'.

Or maybe she wasnt happy with the behaviour of the 2 boys last time they were at her house and she doesnt want to raise it with you.

lots of eople cant communicate very well - its easier to avoid issues than deal with them.

It doesnt mean that she thinks youve done anything wrong - and , even if she does , you know better! Its not as if she was a friend and youre missing her or anything.

[Becci26]

Yes your right,

Realising how totally silly it is to even be worrying about it,

It's their loss at the end of the day, I think it always helps to write these things down or share with someone, let go and move on.

[VeggieSausage]

maybe her child is being more friends with another child at the mo and she feels awkward?.....life is too short to worry about it, find another friend for your dd to play with...

[wendywu]

She could be going through some stress in her own life or even depression for example.

You know you have done nothing wrong so i would just forget about it and her :rolleyes:

[sarah707]

Have the children had a falling out last time they were there? Can she afford to feed an extra mouth? I'd have to ask...

Hugs xx

[smurfette]

Would say maybe she is feeling guilty about not having your Lo back especially as you have text her about it (I know you were offering to have her Lo) .. I am same as you though worry a lot about these things! I know I feel bad If its my turn to have someone back or if I have said I would do it and haven't got round to arranging it, a lot of mums at our school are stay at home mums and I find it hard to manage it with the minding. Or maybe there was a little problem between the kids though this doesn't sound like it would be too serious when they have been friends for so long.. Its hard this Playground politics huh?!

[jackie 7]

I would send a text saying there seems to be a problem and would she like to talk about it as you enjoyed having her child around etc. then if no reply from her place the issue in the back of your mind and forget it. When you see her a big hi there to her. When we deal with children all day we forget how petty some adults are.

[Becci26]

Thanks Jackie,

I may do this, although at the moment have decided to just leave it as is, the ball is in her court to let me know when friend can come and play, if they choose not to that is obv down to them and perhaps there is an issue that I am unaware of and that she'd rather not talk to me about. I think it was just another thing that was bothering me the other day and I was letting it get to me.

For now, I am going to put it to the back of my mind, as there are much more important things to be worrying over. :)

[chriss]

You said she has stuff going on at the moment, well it could just be thats what it is. No one knows what goes on in another persons home, and she may be just be dealing with her own problems, so not even aware you think there is a problem.

I know when I have have been through a difficult time, I have probably looked like I am in in my own world, and you dont always know how you are coming across to others. And the last think on her mind might not be play dates.
Could be totally wrong but you never know :)