Charging when mindee on playdate?

[tiredandemotional]

Hi
One of my mindees has been invited to a playdate at another child's house next week on a day I mind him. It will be arranged between his mum and the other child's mum. I would charge for this as I would if he was sick, picked up early etc. However, I have a complicated situation in that this week he went for a playdate with another child in his class which was actually arranged by me as my own children were invited to a birthday party after school (incidentally of a baby I mind). Although the mum didn't know this (I didn't want to offend that the mindee wasn't invited) and she and the other mum arranged it all between them. I wasn't going to charge for this as I would feel guilty doing so, knowing it was for my convenience. I haven't mentioned this fact to her, and I doubt she will expect me not to charge, but now it feels awkward as if I don't charge for this weeks one I can't really charge for next weeks one without explaining why - which is a bit embarrassing now (I should have explained it at the time really :blush:) But I don't want to get in a situation where I stop charging everytime he goes on a playdate etc. What would you do or what do you do already about playdates?

Many thanks in advance

Susie

[Becci26]

I would charge for next week but as u say not this week as u were not available, therefore not able to offer care (which of course is not the case for next week).
Do u do written invoices? If so I would just deduct the time from this week and say something like 'less x hours due to childminder time off'. Then if parent queries u can explain, and if she doesn't all the better :-)

[FussyElmo]

Did you tell the mum that you were actually unavailable for the playdate you arranged and did you not charge for the time?

[blue bear]

So mum does not know you are unavailable and have arranged for her child to be on a playdate, even though she knows about the playdate.what are you intending to do if play date falls through or child needs collecting early due to an accident or illness,
Personally I would come clean and explain as lo is on a playdate you are going to x and will not be available for just in case and onviosualy won't charge as you won't be available.

Then when you charge for the next play date you explain it's because you are available.

[tiredandemotional]

The playdate I 'arranged' has already taken place, without incident. I would have been available if it had fallen through - as I will be next week for the other one.

[Velleity]

My son went to the mindee's house for dinner last week after school and they still paid me :blush:

[blue bear]

The playdate I 'arranged' has already taken place, without incident. I would have been available if it had fallen through - as I will be next week for the other one.

Then I would just charge as normal for both and learn from this. No point muddying the waters and causing a mix up.

[Dragonfly]

I would charge also.

[Nicola Carlyle]

I would charge for this to. X

[wendywu]

Just say you were feeling gererous last time if she questions it. Sometimes I do not charge mine for picking up from school the 1.5 hours early at the end of term. Some times I say don't bother have that one on me :D

[bunyip]

The playdate I 'arranged' has already taken place, without incident. I would have been available if it had fallen through - as I will be next week for the other one.

I don't mean any offence, but I will be blunt. I don't entirely understand this answer and fear it may be cautiously evasive.

IMHO it would've been far better to be totally honest with the mum about your availability (can we at least agree upon "potential non-availability"?). I personally believe we have to be scrupulously honest with parents, even at the risk of their feelings being hurt occasionally, so as to maintain absolute trust. I understand your motivation was good: to avoid upsetting the mum that her lo had not been invited to the party. But I think it was the wrong decision, taken for a good motive. Really it's not our job to protect a mum's feelings about the party invitations her lo may or may not receive. Frankly, if the mum is mature enough to be having children then do you not think she should be mature enough to not take the lack of invitation as some sort of unacceptable social snub?

It boils down to this. How on Earth do you tell mum that you weren't really available last time (but didn't actually tell her so) but you are available this time, so you feel able to charge? If you don't tell her, someone else might: these things have a way of coming out. If you were the mum, how would you feel about that?

I think you have 3 options:-

1. Come clean. Tell her what you did and why you did it. You acted out of the best of intentions, but she may still think it was something that undermines the trust and openness of your relationship. Your initial decision has got you into a hole, and I think it's time to stop digging. Trying to continue, however well-intentioned it was, can only bring trouble.

2. Explain the previous playdate was a one-off , but you really need to charge in future. Maybe waive the fee for the next playdate (only) as a gesture of goodwill, but be clear about the intention to charge after that date.

3. Live with the fact that the mum now thinks playdates represent free childcare and tea at a friend's house, and that she may well keep arranging these round different houses as a cheaper alternative to your services (possibly to the point where your arrangement becomes unsustainable.) This happens a lot round here with parents wishing to avoid childcare costs, and can be really damaging to childcare businesses.

I know what I would have done, but it's your call now. I genuinely hope it all works out.

[tiredandemotional]

Thanks everyone, I have just charged as normal and will do so for the playdate next week. Next time I will be more clear - struggling with clarity at the moment as five months pregnant and slightly doolally! :p

[hectors house]

I don't mean any offence, but I will be blunt. I don't entirely understand this answer and fear it may be cautiously evasive.

IMHO it would've been far better to be totally honest with the mum about your availability (can we at least agree upon "potential non-availability"?). I personally believe we have to be scrupulously honest with parents, even at the risk of their feelings being hurt occasionally, so as to maintain absolute trust. I understand your motivation was good: to avoid upsetting the mum that her lo had not been invited to the party. But I think it was the wrong decision, taken for a good motive. Really it's not our job to protect a mum's feelings about the party invitations her lo may or may not receive. Frankly, if the mum is mature enough to be having children then do you not think she should be mature enough to not take the lack of invitation as some sort of unacceptable social snub?

It boils down to this. How on Earth do you tell mum that you weren't really available last time (but didn't actually tell her so) but you are available this time, so you feel able to charge? If you don't tell her, someone else might: these things have a way of coming out. If you were the mum, how would you feel about that?

I think you have 3 options:-

1. Come clean. Tell her what you did and why you did it. You acted out of the best of intentions, but she may still think it was something that undermines the trust and openness of your relationship. Your initial decision has got you into a hole, and I think it's time to stop digging. Trying to continue, however well-intentioned it was, can only bring trouble.

2. Explain the previous playdate was a one-off , but you really need to charge in future. Maybe waive the fee for the next playdate (only) as a gesture of goodwill, but be clear about the intention to charge after that date.

3. Live with the fact that the mum now thinks playdates represent free childcare and tea at a friend's house, and that she may well keep arranging these round different houses as a cheaper alternative to your services (possibly to the point where your arrangement becomes unsustainable.) This happens a lot round here with parents wishing to avoid childcare costs, and can be really damaging to childcare businesses.

I know what I would have done, but it's your call now. I genuinely hope it all works out.

I can't really understand how you managed to palm off a mindee on a playdate to attend a party - you should have told the mum the truth or just told the parent of birthday child that you would also be bringing along a mindee (it isn't as if this parent doesn't know you are a childminder - you look after her child also).

But what is done, is done now so I would go with bunyip's option 2 - tell her that for the first play date you didn't charge but now it could be a regular occurence you will be charging from now on or suggest that play dates happen at weekends.

[tiredandemotional]

Gosh, I didn't realise my dilema would cause such strong feeling! I do admit that, on paper it sounds like a silly situation to get myself in. But the child whose house my mindee went to is a friend of my mindee and wanted a playdate with him for a long time- not just some random person I palmed him off with. The child I mind is very hard work, hyperactive and clumsy (he injures my own child on a weekly basis) - all things I can cope with as a CM but not something the mum of the baby could, quite understandably. That is why they weren't invited unfortunately and why I didn't want to offend the mum (although as I said before - I was quite prepared to be available if necessary, either by not attending or dropping my children off and taking the mindee home; my minding would take priority). Anyway, it's all a learning curve and obviously I wouldn't do something like this again...