mummyMia
18-02-2013, 03:01 PM
I'm tired of working hard for little pay, so I'm going to start an agency. I will employ childminders at minimum wage and make them look after four under fives and a few schoolies on top.
First, I'll need to find some employees. I won't bother with asking you lot, I know you don't like agencies. I'll have a recruitment drive. I'll target mothers who already work in minimum wage professions, after all they will be happy to work for these rates of pay. I'll choose those mothers that have no more than one child of their own under 5, to make sure its profitable. I will tell the mothers that they hardly need to do a thing because I will provide training and all the paperwork they need. I will do all the advertising and they won't even have a tax return to fill. On top of all this, they will get to stay at home with their own children. That should keep the applications rolling in.
I suppose I can't legally expect these chilminders to provide food out of their minimum wages so I'll offer a small supplement to cover these expenses. Children don't eat much and the childminders can always grow their own vegetable and bake their own bread, so this supplement won't need to be very much at all. The childminders will also need some resources. Well, as they have children of their own, they are bound to already have toys and buggies. Agency childminders are allowed to share resources, so I'll invest in a small amount of high quality items. If I hear that Ofsted are coming, I'll drop these off with the childminder who is going to be inspected.
Next, I'll need some customers. I'll build a flash website that talks about the amazing benefits of home based care, but at the same time I'll promise parents that they will be able to deal with a professional and trusted company that will provide unrivalled service. I will even offer a back-up childminder, if their normal childminder is unavailable. That should get plenty of parents signing up.
If I get really lucky, the government might even decide to offer some sort of initial grant to get agencies off the ground. I'll use it on all this advertising.
I cant wait. I'm going to be so rich. :D:D:D
First, I'll need to find some employees. I won't bother with asking you lot, I know you don't like agencies. I'll have a recruitment drive. I'll target mothers who already work in minimum wage professions, after all they will be happy to work for these rates of pay. I'll choose those mothers that have no more than one child of their own under 5, to make sure its profitable. I will tell the mothers that they hardly need to do a thing because I will provide training and all the paperwork they need. I will do all the advertising and they won't even have a tax return to fill. On top of all this, they will get to stay at home with their own children. That should keep the applications rolling in.
I suppose I can't legally expect these chilminders to provide food out of their minimum wages so I'll offer a small supplement to cover these expenses. Children don't eat much and the childminders can always grow their own vegetable and bake their own bread, so this supplement won't need to be very much at all. The childminders will also need some resources. Well, as they have children of their own, they are bound to already have toys and buggies. Agency childminders are allowed to share resources, so I'll invest in a small amount of high quality items. If I hear that Ofsted are coming, I'll drop these off with the childminder who is going to be inspected.
Next, I'll need some customers. I'll build a flash website that talks about the amazing benefits of home based care, but at the same time I'll promise parents that they will be able to deal with a professional and trusted company that will provide unrivalled service. I will even offer a back-up childminder, if their normal childminder is unavailable. That should get plenty of parents signing up.
If I get really lucky, the government might even decide to offer some sort of initial grant to get agencies off the ground. I'll use it on all this advertising.
I cant wait. I'm going to be so rich. :D:D:D