Is it always this hard starting with a co minder?!!

[smurfette]

Having a nightmarish few weeks here, a friend and I decided to co mind together from my house and we are both I think having extreme problems settling into a routine together.

I thought before we started that we minded and parented similarly , but I have found her to be often taking the easy option , but then maybe I need to take a chill pill and relax a bit! I had quite a tight routine going to manage my three or four preschoolers and my own three girls and naturally she has her own ideas about how things should go, and is more of a laid back person than I am. I am finding myself snapping at her all the time.. Well not snapping but saying things in a way I wouldn't like to, and feel like I have to guide and nearly parent her through everything.

Because we can only take five preschoolers and as many after Schoolers as we like and I already use three spaces, I have given her two full time soaces and 2 after school places as we have four of our own schoolies and felt this was what we could manage. My business is already established and I have the premises and equipment so we decided she would give me ten percent of what she earns. The biggest problem is that doesn't amount to a whole lot for me unless she is full and she really expects the work to just come to her or for me to find the customers and we have had words about that this week as she hasnt bothered, she had a full timer who has given notice in the settling in period and two doing about twenty hours each. She hasn't really bothered with after schoolers and only has two coming two days a week, I have to collect my girls in the car ans we agreed I would collect her two then but it isn't any quicker not going direct so today I told her I wasn't happy doing that as we got stuck in traffic and my girls were in the car an hour and doing their homework! That went down like a lead balloon but if something isn't working for me what's the point?!

I know some of it is me and my problem adjusting but
Just wanted to see if anyone else has been throUgh the same? Hoping it will get better

[The Juggler]

i would say it would be hard. you are both used to doing things your own way. Before things get heated and resentment sets in sit down and discuss it this weekend.

Have a joke and say 'not as easy as we thought eh!?' then discuss some compromises and ways forward that you work out together. Make some suggestions to her about marketing and filling spaces.

Hope things work out hon:)

[BucksCM]

Mmmmm...I don't have any experience of working with a co-minder...but that's probably because I would find it very hard to get someone to work with me. I've been doing it for 18 years and have my own way of doing things!
Although these things that are getting to you may seem small now, they will eat away at you and then there will come a day when it will just "be the straw that broke the camel's back" type thing.
You could try leaving it a little longer and see if the differences are ironed out and things settle in to a routine that you both can work with...but if they don't, things will just get worse.
Maybe later, write a list of pros and cons.
Does she realise you are feeling like this? Perhaps you could both have a think and write a pros and cons list over the weekend and then get together next week and talk it through?
Don't know if i'm much help...but if you were standing next to me that's exactly what I'd say!:D

[blue bear]

You need to get it all out into the open or you will pop :eek: don't sound like you set any ground rules at the beginning or at least not any detailed ones, so you both need to do that, work out the things that are most important to you and those you feel you can compromise on.
It doesn't seem to be earning you very much and you have got to ask yourself if it's worth it.