Helen Dempster
13-07-2012, 05:27 PM
saw this in the Summer issue of ABC - apols if you've seen it already...
Things I will do to my children
When I go round their houses, after taking my coat and shoes off and slinging them on the floor (preferably so they trip over them) I will demand a drink IMMEDIATELY.
I will then refuse to drink out the cup I'm offered, and the following 3 cups after that. I may also change my drink choice a couple of times too.
I will ask them for a lift, sit in the back of the car, kick their seat and ask if we are there yet when we are at the end of the road.
I will also shout "GO!" loudly at traffic lights, so they move before the lights go green. This is in between making them stop repeatedly for a wee I don't need.
I will ask them to make my favourite dinner, and then announce I no longer like it, once it's placed in front of me.
I will ask for Dora the Explorer to be put on the telly and demand they do the dance with me. If they refuse to, I will lay on the floor and howl, then kick them and pull their hair, then demand a cuddle and a cup of tea.
When we go out together, I will walk in front of them and keep stopping with no warning, and for no apparent reason. When I get tired of walking, I will sit on the floor and demand to be carried.
I will hid their sky remote. And their car keys.
I will take all my clothes off just before we are due to go somewhere.
I will ask why, or why not? to everything they say to me.
I will tell them they did all these things to me when they were children.
I will tell them they were the best days of my life.
Things I will do to my children
When I go round their houses, after taking my coat and shoes off and slinging them on the floor (preferably so they trip over them) I will demand a drink IMMEDIATELY.
I will then refuse to drink out the cup I'm offered, and the following 3 cups after that. I may also change my drink choice a couple of times too.
I will ask them for a lift, sit in the back of the car, kick their seat and ask if we are there yet when we are at the end of the road.
I will also shout "GO!" loudly at traffic lights, so they move before the lights go green. This is in between making them stop repeatedly for a wee I don't need.
I will ask them to make my favourite dinner, and then announce I no longer like it, once it's placed in front of me.
I will ask for Dora the Explorer to be put on the telly and demand they do the dance with me. If they refuse to, I will lay on the floor and howl, then kick them and pull their hair, then demand a cuddle and a cup of tea.
When we go out together, I will walk in front of them and keep stopping with no warning, and for no apparent reason. When I get tired of walking, I will sit on the floor and demand to be carried.
I will hid their sky remote. And their car keys.
I will take all my clothes off just before we are due to go somewhere.
I will ask why, or why not? to everything they say to me.
I will tell them they did all these things to me when they were children.
I will tell them they were the best days of my life.