parent needing advice

[helentwinmum]

I'd had enough. Things have been getting more strained between us and our childminder over recent weeks and I feel like i'm treading on eggshells.

I was forced to give up work due to a back problem, I had a huge cut in my DLA and then tax credits made an error which I am waiting for a resolution to. As a consequence i've spent 4 weeks chasing clients for work and payment. The CM knows all of this but is being really impatient.

Last week I booked a last minute holiday because I have no work on (trip in caravan) and was talking about it to a friend at school. next minute i get a text from childminder demanding to know what is going on because she'd heard through the grapevine i was going away. I text back but she gets the wrong end of the stick and i get accused of changing arrangments (please note this is why i wanted to tell her the plans in person). I then thought i'd be able to pay her for this week and the week after on friday but because of my back problem I couldn't get to the bank and of course my card has a withdrawl limit. She then says it would be best for her to stop having the girls as of that day because it's getting silly. I text back and agree. That I thought was the end of it - we had ended the contract there and then by mutual agreement.

On Saturday my husband gets a text from her saying that she would work the notice period. The girls have school and hospital visits over the next few weeks and i've had enough of being accused of messing her around and quite frankly the mutual agreement to terminate suited us just fine.

Just wondering where we stand now. it's a ncma contract

[cathtee]

Hi I have read your post a couple of times and am a bit confused:blush: the part about tax credits and cm getting impatient, do you mean you owe her for prvious weeks child care? If so I can understand why she is a bit miffed as you have booked a holiday and not payed her. If I have misunderstood then i'm sorry about comment.

As regard to termination of contract as its mutual i'm not really sure about notice period whether you would have to pay or not, if it doesn't explain in the paperwork then i can only suggest that you ring the ncma tomorrow for advice, I do hope you get sorted soon.

[FussyElmo]

Have you still got the text that says the cm wanted to end the contract there and then as thats your proof.

Must admit as the previous poster I was also abit confused about why things had broken down do you/did owe you cm money. Yes i can understand you are going through a difficult time but your cm deserved to be paid on time I can understand her being impatient. You say you have been chasing clients for money but expect your cm to be patient.

Hope you manage to sort it amicably :thumbsup:

[helentwinmum]

She is paid up to date. Basically because of this business with tax credits i'm having to rob peter to pay paul all the time. Last week I needed gas, electric and petrol when i got my tax credits on the tuesday. I was meant to be paid on the thursday but ended up spending friday morning chasing a client for payment so i could pay her. she likes to be paid at 9.30am so she can get it into the bank. I was an hour and a half late with it which I explained. Please note the 9.30am thing has never been put into the contract and we explained at the time we would do our best to honour it but it wouldn't always be possible.

With regards to this week she is worried i won't pay her on friday as I will be away. Because I knew the tax credits would go in on friday not tuesday because of the bank holiday I said i'd try and pay her for this week and the week after on friday but of course I'd forgotten that I wouldn't be able to get that much money out in one go and town was a nightmare on friday so I couldn't get parked near enough to go into the bank.

She was "forwarned" that we were bad payers (which is no doubt by the same person who'd told people we had tried to sue our original childminder) and because of this there has never been any slack at all.

[FussyElmo]

So you are up to date thats fine.

Do you still have the text? If yes forward it to her and say this was the immediate end of the contract and you wish to stick to it :thumbsup:

[cathtee]

Hi, I did get the wrong end of the stick, again i do appologise:blush:

I can't understand the 9.30 payment its very unusual, unless its because i'm so used to being paid last thing on friday, I do hope you get it sorted out soon and I'd like to think that not all of us are so inflexible :)

[gigglinggoblin]

Do you still have the text? If yes forward it to her and say this was the immediate end of the contract and you wish to stick to it :thumbsup:

I dont think anything was mentioned about the notice period payment, I would be careful and not just assume you dont have to pay.

It sounds like an unfortunate situation but as childminders we depend on getting paid on time because that is our income. We are not huge companies who can survive a few weeks without getting paid. I realise things might be difficult for you at the moment but I dont see how you can know your childminder isnt in the same situation, I can understand her being nervous if she was warned you were bad payers (whether that was fairly or not) and tbh I dont see why you should be given slack regardless, you are clearly not happy about money not being paid to you on time by your clients, its no different for her. Those people you are angry with because you are chasing them? Thats her relationship with you atm.

If you intend to use her for the notice period I would give her in writing the dates you do and do not require and then stick to them so you cannot be accused of messing her around. If you dont want to pay the notice I would ring ncma and ask them what they think because it is likely them your childminder will use for legal advice if she has to go to court to get her notice money. If its that bad maybe you could just pay her the notice and not use the service or if she is as fed up as you she might be willing to accept half the notice and not work the time. Its really down to whats in your contract and if either of you are willing to be flexible.

[FussyElmo]

I dont think anything was mentioned about the notice period payment, I would be careful and not just assume you dont have to pay.

It sounds like an unfortunate situation but as childminders we depend on getting paid on time because that is our income. We are not huge companies who can survive a few weeks without getting paid. I realise things might be difficult for you at the moment but I dont see how you can know your childminder isnt in the same situation, I can understand her being nervous if she was warned you were bad payers (whether that was fairly or not) and tbh I dont see why you should be given slack regardless, you are clearly not happy about money not being paid to you on time by your clients, its no different for her. Those people you are angry with because you are chasing them? Thats her relationship with you atm.

If you intend to use her for the notice period I would give her in writing the dates you do and do not require and then stick to them so you cannot be accused of messing her around. If you dont want to pay the notice I would ring ncma and ask them what they think because it is likely them your childminder will use for legal advice if she has to go to court to get her notice money. If its that bad maybe you could just pay her the notice and not use the service or if she is as fed up as you she might be willing to accept half the notice and not work the time. Its really down to whats in your contract and if either of you are willing to be flexible.

TBF to the op the cm told her that as from that day she wouldnt have the girls as of that day - I would have taken that to be the end of the contract.

Also the cm is paid up to date so the op is not owing any money :thumbsup:

[helentwinmum]

Thanks for the advice folks. I'll give the NCMA a ring tomorrow. I just feel trapped in this situation. Things were always going to be tight but to suddenly have £80 a week taken off you through no fault of your own is just a nightmare.

In the last few weeks i've had to borrow from family and take out loans and work for unreliable clients just to keep my head above water and pay her. She knows this so to not give me a couple of hours lee-way (money still arrives on fridays as per contract) is a bit unfair.

[Pipsqueak]

NCMA probably won't advise you as it would be conflict of interests -as the represent the childminder.
They will more than likely tell you to speak to your own solicitor or CAB.

All of this sounds like a massive miscommunication error on BOTH your parts.
Without meaning to be harsh - like you relying upon your clients for work/prompt payment etc etc - your childminder is doing the same... unfortuantely what happens with you is not really the domain of your childminder... she still needs paying for work done - as I am sure you understand. I totally GET that my clients may need a little leeway here and there and I am more than willing to bend a little, depending how well I get on with them and how respectful they have been to me. However, past experiences have taught me VERY valuable lessons and despite how wonderful my clients are now.... the awful few who have treated me badly have marred it permanantly for everyone. At the end of the day my loyalties lie with my own family.

She probably said about not have the children as in 'that moment' so that bills don't mount up - I would say though that unless you have something in writing then you will still be due the notice period.

I would urge you to try to sit down and talk to your minder and try to come to some arrangement; you say I just feel trapped in this situation. Things were always going to be tight but to suddenly have £80 a week taken off you through no fault of your own is just a nightmare.
- this is probably EXACTLY how your minder is feeling - she is probably worried sick (just like you) about the loss of income.
So it would serve both of you to sit down and talk properly.

[The Juggler]

NCMA probably won't advise you as it would be conflict of interests -as the represent the childminder.
They will more than likely tell you to speak to your own solicitor or CAB.

All of this sounds like a massive miscommunication error on BOTH your parts.
Without meaning to be harsh - like you relying upon your clients for work/prompt payment etc etc - your childminder is doing the same... unfortuantely what happens with you is not really the domain of your childminder... she still needs paying for work done - as I am sure you understand. I totally GET that my clients may need a little leeway here and there and I am more than willing to bend a little, depending how well I get on with them and how respectful they have been to me. However, past experiences have taught me VERY valuable lessons and despite how wonderful my clients are now.... the awful few who have treated me badly have marred it permanantly for everyone. At the end of the day my loyalties lie with my own family.

She probably said about not have the children as in 'that moment' so that bills don't mount up - I would say though that unless you have something in writing then you will still be due the notice period.

I would urge you to try to sit down and talk to your minder and try to come to some arrangement; you say I just feel trapped in this situation. Things were always going to be tight but to suddenly have £80 a week taken off you through no fault of your own is just a nightmare.
- this is probably EXACTLY how your minder is feeling - she is probably worried sick (just like you) about the loss of income.
So it would serve both of you to sit down and talk properly.

good advice from Pip hon. I would say whether you have to pay for the notice period depends on the wording of the text and whether you have it still.

If she says better not to have the girls until payment is made, then notice is due but if she said better to stop as of now, then this could be construed as notice. It does sound harsh of her if you have always paid on the right day and are up to date but just can't always pay by 0930. However, I must admit too that if I thought payment would be late and then I heard about the holiday I would be miffed too. Texts can be misconstrued badly and I think if you can muster the courage to call her it would be better to sit down, chat and try to work out the notice amicably. :)

[VeggieSausage]

I think if you have a contract with your minder then you have to pay on time as per the agreement you made and if you cannot afford your childcare then you need to either sit and chat with your provider and either come to another arrangement or if your minder does not want to make other arrangements (well within their rights) then you must give notice. If you were dealing with a nursery they would expect payment immediately and would give notice if an agreement could not be made. Childminders are running a business and not a charity and we depend on our income to pay our bills, if you are not late in paying and are up to date then all is fine but if you are falling short of the agreement then it is not acceptable. The timed agreement of payments may be because this is the only time she has to bank the money/cheque and would have to wait longer for this if you are late, also I expect it cuts the morning in half for the activities planned for other children if she has to wait around for money to be paid.

If I am incorrect in any of the details then I apologise but I do think paying for childcare promptly as per the agreement you made does need to be a priority.

[BucksCM]

From what I've read, the cm is miffed because she wasn't paid at 9.30 friday morning? I presume that she was told of the reasons why?
According to what I've read, the cm is not actually owed any money? The last payment was a few hours late on the correct payment day? A time that is not actually written in the contract?
What exactly is the problem?
OK, so a holiday in a caravan has been booked...was the payment late?

Personally, I think things may have got heated and texts sent, but I think a meeting is needed to talk it over and try and sort it out as I think they may be more to this than a late payment.(term "late" used, but was actually on the contracted payment day as per written contract)