ADHD and...ew, dont eat while eating!

[mushpea]

my son has mild ADHD most of the time there isnt any major issues he's just more hard work than your average child, constantly on the go , know matter how hard we try he never gets worn out lol and wont sleep in grr and has a major temper tantrums with which both him and ourselveles are learning to control (he's 11yrs old)
Anyway when he was younger he had a habbit of poo smearing, he would smear it up the walls, the sink , the side of the bath, nothing was safe, we would just clear it up without making an issue thinking it was an attention thing and eventually the times he did it got less and less,, the last few weeks however he has started this up again and it seems to be related to when he is upset or stressed out,, tonight he did it again and tomoro is the start of their sats which he is worried about dispite my resassurance over them. being older I have tried talking to him about this but he just dosent seem to know why he does it,, he says he cant explain it and I get the feeling its an impulse thing then he realises after that what he did wasnt right , tonight I have acctutaly punished him for it an taken away his xbox controller and his Ipod and he has to tidy his room tomoro before I will even consider giving them back. He is very emotinal and came down after his shower upset saying that he was very sorry, I belive he mean't it, its not like a 'i want my stuff back' applogy iyswim but I am at a loss as to what else to do or how else to deal with it.
has anyone had this issue with a child before? if so how did you deal with it or can any of you lovley folks suggest how to help him not do this

[loocyloo]

no advice as never been there, but big hugs to you all at this trying time.

SATS can stress a child with no issues at all, so i can only imagine how it must be for your DS.

xxx

[BucksCM]

I'm sorry...I have no advice to give...I clicked because i wanted to know what was written under the title :blush:

[sarah707]

Bless him he must be very worried about his exams :(

But that is no excuse to do what he did and you have made the decision to punish him... so you need to follow it through.

He has to learn that there are appropriate and inappropriate ways of managing his emotions - and that ADHD is not an excuse to do what he did.

I would take him right back to basics of how to deal with how you are feeling - shout or read a book... argue or walk away... etc.

Stay strong and he will learn to control himself over time. Big hugs to you xx

[mushpea]

Thanks everyone
We have tried giving him different stratergies to deal with his emotions, we had a chart a bit like pecs he could point to how he was feeling, then when he gets really angry we leave him to find his own queit spot to calm down in before we talki to him basicly we cant speak to him when hes really angry as it just dosent work and makes him worse,, we have firm boundries and consequences for things that happen but for some reason the whole poo thing has sort of escaped these as I can see it is related to how he is feeling and I know its impulsive and its like he does it but then realises afterwards whats happend, he also gets totaly upset and feels guilty afterwards and is very applogetic each time so I dont want to make things worse by being to harsh on him over this, I never make his ADHD an excuse for anything and I treat him like I do my daughter and my minded children and if he has done wrong he knows it infact I somtims come down harder on him because I dont want him going off the rails so to speak. My OH thinks next time we should make him clear it up but I am not sure tha would help and I am certain it would end up totaly everywhere!
lol at the reading the title thingy
as for his sats yes they are definatly stressful for all children and up till this last week he has been fin about it but now its actutaly here he is totaly worried by it,, I didnt want to opt him out of them as he needs to learn how to deal with the preasure of tests and exams and the preasures of life,, this might seem harsh but I am not going to wrap him in cotton wool. I will speak to the school tomoro though so that they are aware of the situation.
I wish being a parent was easier somtimes lol

[nipper]

Hi, does your son have any hobbies or interests that he can resort to if he feels he is approaching his limits? My lad plays guitar and I know if he has a run in with someone, either a friend or his brother or sisters, he goes off to his room to have a good old 'sesh' (session).

As far as school is concerned, I'm sure of you just pop in and have a word with his teacher everything will be absolutely fine and they'll keep an eye on him. I think the main problem with SATS is if they didn't spend x number of weeks practising leading up to them, the children wouldn't be half as stressed. The teachers are usually pretty good at spotting the warning signs though. I hope the week isn't too stressful for you both.

[acorns]

I too have a son age 12 with ADHD so know exactly where you're coming from. He won't know why he does the poo thingy, just that he does, as the impulse or compulsion to do it takes over from any thought of the consquences for himself or the family. Although I understand it's yuck, but just try and treat it the same as you would any of his other undesirable behaviours. I don't think I would get him to clear it up, just imagining the mess.....We manage (just about!) by taking my DS toy/object of the moment away for 24hrs if he breaks one of the rules (we only have a few - follow instructions being one that covers most things!) so he may think of losing his favourite toy next time he does a poo, and hopefully think it's not worth losing and then not do the poo thing. Along with saying how sad it makes you feel to have to clear it up etc etc and lots of praise when he doesn't do it. HTH PM me if you would like to.