'' hes had a little adventure'' - overreacting or not?

[mama2three]

Ds is 5 and was asked to play at his friends house last night.
When he was dropped off friends mum laughed and said - hes had a little adventure. Q ( 5) was laughing too.
He had fallen in a lake!!
Now Im not a cotton wool mum but fgs it was pouring down , the lake was extra high due to all the rain , and 2 5 year olds were playing on the fishing platform - mum and partner were ( from how Q describes it) about 100 yards away.
He swam to the edge and was absolutely fine. I dont think she was aware he could swim but thank G he could!
As far as I was aware they were playing at Ms house. I dont think Ill be saying yes next time he wants to go and play and Im sure they will think Im completely over-reacting. Am I?

[sarahlou]

omg thats awful - no you are not over reacting I would be fuming the outcome could have been much worse - this is why its so important that all children can swim. Good for you for not saying anything because i dont think i would have kept my cool:)

[samkeddy]

omg no not a laughing matter!!!
If someone elses child had fallen in a lake while in my care (which hopefully i would never let happen) i would be mortified and terrifeid of telling parents not laughing!!
My assistants brother fell in a lake last year he was 7 and drowned, dont mean to be depressing but im so shocked!!!!

[ajs]

no you're not he's 5 not 15 and therefore doesnt have the strength to fight against anything that could be pulling him. I know there's no current as such but our river was extremely fast flowing a couple of days ago and i dont think a child would have stood a chance at swimming out of it

[Bridey]

No, you are not over-reacting. If it were my son he would never, ever be left with them ever again and I think I would having a hard time to stop (my normally placid) son's father from paying them a very angry visit.

[miffy]

Excuse me, but they didn't even know he was in the lake! :eek: If he hadn't been able to swim and get himself out he could so easily have drown before they'd noticed.

You're not over-reacting at all!

Miffy xx

[Kiddleywinks]

Absolutely not!

If I have DS/DD's (when she was younger) friends over and we weren't planning on staying at home I would always ask the parents if it's ok with them for us to go wherever

Could her laughing be out on nervousness rather than humour I wonder

[mama2three]

Excuse me, but they didn't even know he was in the lake! :eek: If he hadn't been able to swim and get himself out he could so easily have drown before they'd noticed.

You're not over-reacting at all!

Miffy xx

I think they were watching - the mums partner went running down ready to jump in. He was 2 or 3 strokes from the edge but needed help being pulled out. I keep telling myself that accidents happen - and hes fine - but then keep going back to the fact that I would never ever have let them play there in the first place. maybe its because I think things through - childminder mode .
Or maybe I really cant trust DS to anyone else at all til hes approx 33!!

[mama2three]

Absolutely not!

If I have DS/DD's (when she was younger) friends over and we weren't planning on staying at home I would always ask the parents if it's ok with them for us to go wherever

Could her laughing be out on nervousness rather than humour I wonder

Im sure that was part of it. She was probably trying to downplay it and was nervous. But I refuse to feel sorry for her.

[silvermist]

OMG i just read this, I cant believe it, what if he couldnt swim!!!:eek::eek::eek:
No you are definately not over reacting xxx

[rickysmiths]

I would be livid.

Two lively 5 year old should not be playing on an unguarded platform by water unless the intention is that they are going in the water and they are dressed appropriately with close supervision even if they can swim.

He could have been shocked by the cold as he hit the water, he could have hit his head on something as he went in the water, he could have been dragged under by the clothes he was wearing.

Well done him for getting himself back to the platform.

I would never leave my child in the care of these parents again. I would have been horrified if something like this had happened to a child in my care and would have found it hard to tell you. I certainly wouldn't have been laughing about it!

Very irresponsible.

[kindredspirits]

i've got a 5 year old son who cannot swim a stroke.... you've just made my blood run cold!! i am so unbelievably relieved for you that your son can swim enough to get himself to safety but OMG - i watch other people with their kids out and about and i can't help but think to myself that they are mostly all accidents waiting to happen :(
i would never ever ever allow DS to the care of those parents again.

[Shamai]

You're not over-reacting at all, I would be fuming to say the least - totally irresponsible taking them near a lake in the rain for starters :mad: I hope you're OK and would definitely not let them care for your son again xx

[caz3007]

I am over cautious. We took 2 of my sons friends on a trip along the canal to see father christmas as my sons birthday treat and we never left the children unless closely supervised close to the water. The children could swim, but thats not the point.

I see so many families out and can see all sorts of accidents waiting to happen and think this family should have taken more care and been on the platform with the children so hooking out would be instant

[FussyElmo]

No my child would never be left with them again - I am a firm believer of accidents happen gosh my ds is the child who leans over the fishing bits at our lake no matter how many times you tell him. But someone elses child :eek:

[Carol M]

An 8 year old boy died last week after falling into water, his body was found a few days later.
You are not over reacting at all :angry:
Carol xx

[Ripeberry]

I have no words :eek::angry:

[jelly15]

I am horrified. If a child had fallen into a lake in my care I would be beside myself upset. I would be begging the mothers forgiveness. I know accidents happen but with two five year olds at the side of a lake I would have been in grabbing distance in case they got too near the edge.

I think you are amazingly calm, I would have been giving them a peice of my mind and bursting into tears at the thought of what could have happened. You are not over reating in the slightest to never letting your DS play over again.

[wendywu]

I would never trust that woman with my child again, this was so dangerous :panic:

[Tippy Toes]

Definitely not over reacting! I would of been horrified and definitely would not want to let my child go out with them again.

Anything could of happened!

[Kah]

That is horrendous! So glad your little boy can swim as could so easily have had a nasty outcome :mad:

[LOOPYLISA]

Thank god he could swim :panic:

No if it were me he wouldnt be going again anytime soon x

[samb]

:panic: That is awful - I actually feel quite sick at the thought.

Wow well done to your ds though for managing to swim to the side.

[nipper]

It's made my blood run cold just thinking about it...a little adventure?:panic:
I don't think I would have reacted properly straight away if I had been you, but given time, my goodness...

[VINASOL]

OMG! :eek:

And the parent didn't even phone you immediately after it happened, she just dropped him home as if nothign had happened. Did I read that right?

[mama2three]

OMG! :eek:

And the parent didn't even phone you immediately after it happened, she just dropped him home as if nothign had happened. Did I read that right?

Afraid so.
Have seen her since and she seems incredibly flippant about the whole thing. Feel a little sorry for Q and his friend M though as Q wont be going again!

[VINASOL]

I don't blame you, but what about all the other little children that he has over for play dates? How safe are they!

This is so frightening and if it'd happened to us CMs we would be in serious trouble....

[desiderata]

I am very shocked that they let this happen and I would personally be worried about what may have been in the lake and how that could have affected your little one. I too would never let him play there again and rightly or wrongly let other people she has over know what happened.

[flowerpots]

Im extremely shocked at this!!!! :mad:

My brothers best friend fell into a lake when he was 14, his foot got stuck in some sort of underwater plant and he died. :(

Im glad you ds is ok. xxx

[VINASOL]

I am very shocked that they let this happen and I would personally be worried about what may have been in the lake and how that could have affected your little one. I too would never let him play there again and rightly or wrongly let other people she has over know what happened.


I think if it were me, I'd be contacting SS. Surely this is neglect from your lo's friend's parents? ('failing to protect a child from physical and emotional harm or danger)? I think some serious and harsh words need to be said to this parent...how many examples have we had of children who have drowned and could easily have been prevented.

[FussyElmo]

I think if it were me, I'd be contacting SS. Surely this is neglect from your lo's friend's parents? ('failing to protect a child from physical and emotional harm or danger)? I think some serious and harsh words need to be said to this parent...how many examples have we had of children who have drowned and could easily have been prevented.

Whereas I agree that the OP shouldnt be sending her son again and the mum shouldnt be so flippant about the situation.

I totally disagree about SS being called. It was an unfortunate accident and whereas it could have been avoided it not like the parents themselves were pratting by the water.

Where do we stop if people start reporting accident a child falls down the stairs at a friends mum shouldnt have let them up etc should that be reported.

OP I wouldnt be letting my son go again and yes I feel for the children involved as they will be the ones who suffer most and wont really understand until years gone by :(

[VINASOL]

Whereas I agree that the OP shouldnt be sending her son again and the mum shouldnt be so flippant about the situation.

I totally disagree about SS being called. It was an unfortunate accident and whereas it could have been avoided it not like the parents themselves were pratting by the water.

Where do we stop if people start reporting accident a child falls down the stairs at a friends mum shouldnt have let them up etc should that be reported.

OP I wouldnt be letting my son go again and yes I feel for the children involved as they will be the ones who suffer most and wont really understand until years gone by :(

Sorry but I do think it's a little different from falling down the stairs, falling over in a park etc etc. The parents were a 100 yards away; as a parent of a 5 year old, to me that's too far from two little children near open water without any life preservers or anything like that.

Anyway, it is just my opinion and something that I would personally do if it happened to my child. I felt that this was such a serious case of misjudgement that something needed to be recorded.

[Milli147]

OP I wouldnt be letting my son go again and yes I feel for the children involved as they will be the ones who suffer most and wont really understand until years gone by :(

I would have the other child over to play if they are friends, but refuse to let my child go to theirs. I have done this with my dd, she was invited over to a friends and when I went to pick her up parents had gone out and left the two girls alone in the house with a male lodger. And his 60 a day fag habit.
Don't be afraid to tell them why either, maybe it will bring them to their senses before the unthinkable happens one day.
Hope you and your son are ok x

[Ripeberry]

As said before. There is no reason they can't be friends just always have the playdates at yours. :thumbsup: