lollipop kid
25-04-2012, 09:46 AM
Hi, apologies that this is a long one. I've recently taken on a 9 year old, and I'm now in the second week of her contract, with a four week settling in period. I went through my over 8's policy with the mum before doing the contract, and explained that I would use a settling in period, as I have to consider the needs of the younger children in my care, so any older child has to be able to be a role model for the younger children, which the mum said would be fine.
I've decided that I need to terminate this contract due to the child's behaviour, and could do with some advice re. letter content/next action.
I've decided to terminate as, apart from the fact that the child is being rude, raising her voice to me, and generally being unco-operative - all of which I would be happy to deal with using house rules, positive role modelling, etc., - I've caught her going upstairs into the non -childminding areas without permission (then refusing to come back down), and now she's started inciting my 4 year old son to throw things at other children and to spit, which has really shocked me.
Even worse, though, I feel that her mum has misled me with respect to the child's toileting. Her mum told me that the child needs to be reminded to go to the loo. I have now realised that the child actually doesn't seem to go to the loo all day at school at all, and actually wet herself on the way back to me on day one. I have spare clothes for my own DD who is 10, and put this down to a one-off accident. Yesterday, we got home from school and I noticed that the front of her skirt was wet, then I saw a trail of wee following her in the door just as she was making her way to my sofa. I sent her into the loo with some fresh clothes and told her to wee, give herself a little wash and to change. She did all (very reluctantly) except for the wash, and the other children I look after were saying that they didn't like the 'bad smell'. I have never come across this before. I have mentioned the wetting to her mum, and the behaviour. I would have hoped the mum would work with me to resolve the behaviour, and to be able to explain to me why the wetting happens, and what she is doing about it, but all she's done is give me some spare clothes to keep here. In the meantime, the weather is appalling so the added laundry each night (washing sofa throw, protective mat, cushions etc. so it is OK for the next day) is a nightmare.
Therefore, all things considered, I feel I need to terminate the contract. Interested in what any of you might think, as this isn't a decision I'm taking lightly. I've also just found out about ERIC.org.uk, which is a charity to help with child continence issues, which I'll tell the mum about. However, as I have younger children to look after, I can't take time out to give this child 1:1, hence my decision, but I hate giving up on a child. Still, I need to put the needs of the younger children (and my sanity) first.
Thanks for reading. What do I need to put in the letter, given that I'm still in the settling in period? Do I need to find her alternative care? Would after-school be able to handle the wetting better? Is there anything else I should do?
I've decided that I need to terminate this contract due to the child's behaviour, and could do with some advice re. letter content/next action.
I've decided to terminate as, apart from the fact that the child is being rude, raising her voice to me, and generally being unco-operative - all of which I would be happy to deal with using house rules, positive role modelling, etc., - I've caught her going upstairs into the non -childminding areas without permission (then refusing to come back down), and now she's started inciting my 4 year old son to throw things at other children and to spit, which has really shocked me.
Even worse, though, I feel that her mum has misled me with respect to the child's toileting. Her mum told me that the child needs to be reminded to go to the loo. I have now realised that the child actually doesn't seem to go to the loo all day at school at all, and actually wet herself on the way back to me on day one. I have spare clothes for my own DD who is 10, and put this down to a one-off accident. Yesterday, we got home from school and I noticed that the front of her skirt was wet, then I saw a trail of wee following her in the door just as she was making her way to my sofa. I sent her into the loo with some fresh clothes and told her to wee, give herself a little wash and to change. She did all (very reluctantly) except for the wash, and the other children I look after were saying that they didn't like the 'bad smell'. I have never come across this before. I have mentioned the wetting to her mum, and the behaviour. I would have hoped the mum would work with me to resolve the behaviour, and to be able to explain to me why the wetting happens, and what she is doing about it, but all she's done is give me some spare clothes to keep here. In the meantime, the weather is appalling so the added laundry each night (washing sofa throw, protective mat, cushions etc. so it is OK for the next day) is a nightmare.
Therefore, all things considered, I feel I need to terminate the contract. Interested in what any of you might think, as this isn't a decision I'm taking lightly. I've also just found out about ERIC.org.uk, which is a charity to help with child continence issues, which I'll tell the mum about. However, as I have younger children to look after, I can't take time out to give this child 1:1, hence my decision, but I hate giving up on a child. Still, I need to put the needs of the younger children (and my sanity) first.
Thanks for reading. What do I need to put in the letter, given that I'm still in the settling in period? Do I need to find her alternative care? Would after-school be able to handle the wetting better? Is there anything else I should do?