Is it ok to ask?

[Pipsqueak]

I am just doing Harry's birthday invites up.

His birthday is in the school holidays and every year we get the invites out, we tell people and we confirm verbally (and in writing) with people and EVERY year we get several ignorant few who don't bother to turn up - let us know.
And because its in the holidays Harry is left high and dry.

One year out of 20 invited and confirmed - 2 turned up he was gutted (and so was I because I had to pay in advance
another year 10 invited and confirmed and doubly confirmed and me emailing and texting people to remind them - 3 turned up

And its the same year and year - last year was the best response mind and I think that was because we were providing the transport and keeping them ALL day.

Its sickening for my little boy and his upset. His brothers get parties with friends turning up and because his are in the holidays people forget, or book holidays. He cannot invite anyone else because they are on holidays.... my heart breaks for him. We have even tried to have it on the weekend they break up and that makes no difference.

So I have put on the invites this year about PLEASE can you let me know if you change your mind/cannot come as it avoids upset and disappointment of expecting people and then them not turning up. I have asked for a contact number so I can send a reminder. Do you think this is ok??????

[rickysmiths]

Pip, honestly? I would give up. Have an absolutly fab family day on the day and have his party at the beginning of next term, when his friends are around.

[PixiePetal]

I would do exactly that - poor Harry

How rude of people

[FussyElmo]

I have got to admit I did this in the last half term - I totally forgot about someones party. I felt really bad but it was nice so we took the opportunity to go out for the day.

It doesnt excuse the fact that I missed the party but it is very easily done. However if the parent had texted me the day before I wouldnt have forgotten so no I dont think it people will be offended if you ask for an contact number.

Not sure about people booking hoildays - how you are going to work round that though

[NickyKD]

I could have written this post. Both my daughters birthdays are in August and i have the same thing every year. The worst time was 2 years ago when i had booked a party room at the farm my (DD was turning 4) and i needed a minimum of 10 and only 3 showed up!! luckily my older daughter (shes 6 years older than youngest) came with my step son (even older) and a friend so i could make it upto 7. Luckily the staff where ok about it and didnt charge me for the ones that didnt show.
I think it is so rude not to show up and not let you know. I always put on the invites both my phone numbers and ask if they cant come to let me know but still they dont show. Drives me mad. Hope you have better luck with them turning up this year

[Penny1959]

Ask DS what he would prefer - point out the advantages and disadvantages of all of them - then what ever he chooses he will know what to expect.


As another option - how about a nice family day out on his birthday - then an 'open invite' to family and friends to join you at a nice local park - bring their own picnic but you organise games with prizes - then if hardly anyone turns up it is not DS birthday ruined - but if they do maybe you could say as not together on DS birthday - you will all sing a belated happy birthday

Penny

[Hebs]

why dont you have the party at the end of term, or start of the next term??

my sisters birthday is slap bang in the middle of the school hols and my mum always had it early
x

[sharonmanc]

for this reason we only have family parties now, the money you sepdn on a aprty you can have a fab family day out and spoil him rotten.

[Pipsqueak]

He wants this party - he has chosen a high ropes aerial thingy and he has selected the friends already. We have got it as close to the end of term as possible. Its his 'last' one - he is turning 11 and we have made a deal with all the kids the 'biggie' parties stop in Y6 and then after that its a couple of friends for a 'select' outing and a sleepover.

I am hoping that having it days after term finishes it will be ok. I accept that people book holidays and of course the holiday is important - would just like to know if they can't come and we can fill the place with someone else - like one of others sons' friends.

[Milli147]

He wants this party - he has chosen a high ropes aerial thingy and he has selected the friends already. We have got it as close to the end of term as possible. Its his 'last' one - he is turning 11 and we have made a deal with all the kids the 'biggie' parties stop in Y6 and then after that its a couple of friends for a 'select' outing and a sleepover.

I am hoping that having it days after term finishes it will be ok. I accept that people book holidays and of course the holiday is important - would just like to know if they can't come and we can fill the place with someone else - like one of others sons' friends.

Wow, he will have a fab time, my dd just did this for hers, and they had an amazing time.
I think it's absolutely fine to ring and remind, I would not be offended at all if it were me, in fact I'd be grateful! My dd's friend had a party straight after school on the first day back after half term - mum texted a reminder, and I really had forgotten...dd hadn't of course!

[Penny1959]

If that is what he wants - then that is what he should do. The good thing about that sort of event is it can be as much fun with 2 or 3 as it can with 6 or 8.

Think it fine to remind people and to ask them to let you know if they can't attend.

Hope it goes well and all his friends turn up.


Penny

[Mouse]

I would make sure you've got everyone's phone numbers and phone them a few days before to remind them. At least then, if they've planned something else, you'll know in advance.

I hope you get a better turn out this year. It must be such a disappointment to him.

Another thought. As he's older now, does he have contact with his friends out of school (MSN, texting, Facebook?). He could send reminders that way.

[The Juggler]

He wants this party - he has chosen a high ropes aerial thingy and he has selected the friends already. We have got it as close to the end of term as possible. Its his 'last' one - he is turning 11 and we have made a deal with all the kids the 'biggie' parties stop in Y6 and then after that its a couple of friends for a 'select' outing and a sleepover.

I am hoping that having it days after term finishes it will be ok. I accept that people book holidays and of course the holiday is important - would just like to know if they can't come and we can fill the place with someone else - like one of others sons' friends.

I would've given up too hon inviting these ungrateful so and so's. I would go and have fun at the aerial place with just you and him and the family who are old enough so he has a lovely day and doesn't get upset. If you go ahead, be stronger in wording. Use the invites and do a separate note for the parents to go with. Remind them what happened - THE LAST TWO YEARS 20 PEOPLE HAVE CONFIRMED THEN NOT TURNED UP AND HARRY WAS VERY UPSET ON HIS BIRTHDAY - PLEASE DO NOT CONFIRM YOU ARE COMING IF YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE IT. I would appreciate this very much

[Mummits]

My littlest has a birthday in August - he's six this year. Last year we had a party the first weekend of the hols and we did have a fair few say they were away, and a few more just not turn up on the day. It didn't totally spoil it but it was disappointing. We are going for the last week of term after school this time and hoping that will help - and we'll have some sort of family day out on the actual day too.

Changing the subject entirely, littlest had me in tears this morning. DS1 said that the youngest tae-kwondo black belt was six years old but the youngest karate black belt was five. Unimpressed, LO said "Well karate IS easier - it's just singing and reading at the same time".