Adoption advice

[OrlandoBelle]

My Husband and I have been married for 2 years this June and have a baby together. I also have an 11 yr old son from a previous relationship. He has never met his father, and looks up to my husband as his Dad (although he doesn't call him Dad).

The other day my DS said something which really upset me. He said "Mum, technically i'm not part of this family because you, P and A all have the same surname but mine is different" This broke my heart.

We have looked into my Husband adopting him on several occassions in the past but keep coming back with different conclusions on how to go about it. One website we found said we would have to pay £500, and another website said that the courts do not let an adoption happen "just for the child to have the same surname when another parent marries" (or in so many words).

I just wondered if anyone on here has taken this path and could give me some advice?

[Minstrel]

I have a friend in exactly the same position and her new husband successfully adopted her daughter about 2 yrs ago just before their wedding.

Is your son's father named on his birth certificate?

[OrlandoBelle]

No he's not on his birth cetificate. I was a single parent at the time and decided not ot put it on there. x

[Minstrel]

I think you will have a very good case to get your husband to adopt him and therefore get his surname changed. Circs are exactly the same as my friend. I will contact her tomorrow and if she feels able to help i will pass on your email if you like? Will PM you tomorrow! x

[OrlandoBelle]

That would be brilliant! Thank you xx

[onceinabluemoon]

If the father does not have PR can't you just change his surname? I would think at 11 he is old enough to tell the court this is what he wants (as opposed to what the adults want).
Then you can also go through the adoption if you want to but it wont be to change the child's name it'll be because your hubby wants the lad to be his son IYSWIM

(That doesn't sound very kind in words but ion my head it is a nice thing, please take it the way it is in my head)

[OrlandoBelle]

If the father does not have PR can't you just change his surname? I would think at 11 he is old enough to tell the court this is what he wants (as opposed to what the adults want).
Then you can also go through the adoption if you want to but it wont be to change the child's name it'll be because your hubby wants the lad to be his son IYSWIM

(That doesn't sound very kind in words but ion my head it is a nice thing, please take it the way it is in my head)

Yes my DH does really want to adopt him as his son, hence the reason we've been looking into it for so long. He has been his "dad" since he was 7.

We could just change his surname by deed poll, but we really want my DH to adopt him as his own so that we can be a proper family. This is what my son wants too and he has expressed this several times in the past.

[Hebs]

My Husband and I have been married for 2 years this June and have a baby together. I also have an 11 yr old son from a previous relationship. He has never met his father, and looks up to my husband as his Dad (although he doesn't call him Dad).

The other day my DS said something which really upset me. He said "Mum, technically i'm not part of this family because you, P and A all have the same surname but mine is different" This broke my heart.

We have looked into my Husband adopting him on several occassions in the past but keep coming back with different conclusions on how to go about it. One website we found said we would have to pay £500, and another website said that the courts do not let an adoption happen "just for the child to have the same surname when another parent marries" (or in so many words).

I just wondered if anyone on here has taken this path and could give me some advice?

no court in the world would refuse a loving caring father "figure" to adopt a child he has cared for for so long and has a close loving relationship with in favour of a "father" who has never seen his biological child

go for it hun, xxx

[ajs]

If its what you want, what your dh wants and what your son wants just go for it.

[FussyElmo]

You can at the moment I am assuming your sons dad never had PR or had it appointed by a court, change his name by deed poll and your dh can apply for Pr for him.

Adoption Im not really sure why you you go along along to a solictors and enquire they used to offer the first hour free

[gigglinggoblin]

I have no experience of adoption but in residency / contact cases the opinion of an 11 year old would definately be taken into account. I suspect that ruling was to stop children being given a new dad every 6 months, I cant imagine why they would have a problem with what your family are asking, courts work on common sense.